wedding worries

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Weddings & Anniversaries
50 replies 2.9K views
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  • stas4949stas4949 Forumite
    236 Posts
    reading this has made me realise " what the hell do I wear for my ex husbands wedding in July" we're still friends and our 2 boys are involved in the whole day, so that means me being invited for the whole day! Its going to be a very big showy affair (lots of "our" friends, "their" friends IYKWIM and family) and although I want to look really nice (who wouldn't!) I don't want people to think I'm putting on a show... Hadn't really given it a second thought till I read this thread "Oh My God!!!!!!!".... what makes it worse is that we are very similar looking and I know people will be looking and talking (or am I just being paranoid)..... Will have to start looking now..... :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
  • ooobedooooobedoo Forumite
    1K Posts
    Pity you can't have an accident with a bottle of nail varnish........

    I think she will look like a cheap slapper, you will look stunning and people will shake their heads, if she's not married just return the favour when(and if) she gets married!......
    Oh....I'm not going to lie to you......At the end of the day, when alls said and done......do you know what I mean.........TIDY
  • JenPupJenPup Forumite
    13 Posts
    When I got married, SIL turned up in a cream suit with bridal hair and bridal makeup and looked, quite frankly, completely ridiculous. She spent the entire day with a sullen look on her face and didn't have a good word to say about anything!

    I just ignored her for the entire day - I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of getting a reaction from me. Everybody thought she was mad anyway.

    The main thing is that you remember it's the one day in your life when you are the star of the show and nothing will detract from that, no matter what!
  • gingercordialgingercordial Forumite
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    stas4949 wrote:
    reading this has made me realise " what the hell do I wear for my ex husbands wedding in July" we're still friends and our 2 boys are involved in the whole day, so that means me being invited for the whole day! Its going to be a very big showy affair (lots of "our" friends, "their" friends IYKWIM and family) and although I want to look really nice (who wouldn't!) I don't want people to think I'm putting on a show... Hadn't really given it a second thought till I read this thread "Oh My God!!!!!!!".... what makes it worse is that we are very similar looking and I know people will be looking and talking (or am I just being paranoid)..... Will have to start looking now..... :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

    Tricky situation! Three things:
    • Not white or cream (as per this thread!)
    • Not black as you will look like you're in mourning for your ex-marriage
    • Also no hats with veils - again too grieving widow
    Really you just need some kind of reasonably demure skirt suit, ie sophisticated but not showy.

    Also you might want to practice what you'll say when people inevitably ask you how you feel or if you mind? I know you say you're still friends but it would be good to have an answer prepared!
  • thanks!!!

    i did not expect so many responses from everyone here. you have all made me feel so much better.
    think i might just let her wear the dress(seeing how you lot this it is awful!!!) and as someone suggested, she is not married yet so i can get my revenge when she does (thats if she does though).
    i will post some pics on here of the big day once i get back from my honeymoon.
    love shell xxx
    :hello: shellmundo :hello:
  • rachnbrirachnbri Forumite
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    Your guests (especially as you're having an intimate wedding) will just look at her and think !!!!!!!!! They will all know who the bride is and wonder what her issue is.

    Have a lovely wedding day and a wonderful marriage because, after all, it about you and your other half - no-one else. Please don't let her awful dress sense spoil your day.
  • pavlovs_dogpavlovs_dog Forumite
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    another issue - im not sure wedding 'ettiquette' is such a big thing anymore. the rules not so rigid as to what is/isnt acceptable are increasingly blurred as they types of marriage diversify.

    not upstaging the bride i think goes without saying and doesnt really need passing from one generation to the next. as for this you cant wear x/y/z colour because it will upset the brid/ show that you curse the marriage etc is stuff ive only learned from here.

    theres one poster one here who was adamant that she didnt want anyone to wear black to her wedding. i hadnt even contemplated that black would be an issue.. the dress i had bought for future SILs wedding was black, dressy, and as far as i was concerned in no way implied that i was against the marriage, nor could i possibly have been mistaken for going to a funeral!

    traditions have changed so much that i think it would be very easy to cause offence without realising you were doing so
    know thyself
    Nid wy'n gofyn bywyd moethus...
  • sarahlouise210sarahlouise210 Forumite
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    another issue - im not sure wedding 'ettiquette' is such a big thing anymore. the rules not so rigid as to what is/isnt acceptable are increasingly blurred as they types of marriage diversify.

    not upstaging the bride i think goes without saying and doesnt really need passing from one generation to the next. as for this you cant wear x/y/z colour because it will upset the brid/ show that you curse the marriage etc is stuff ive only learned from here.

    theres one poster one here who was adamant that she didnt want anyone to wear black to her wedding. i hadnt even contemplated that black would be an issue.. the dress i had bought for future SILs wedding was black, dressy, and as far as i was concerned in no way implied that i was against the marriage, nor could i possibly have been mistaken for going to a funeral!

    traditions have changed so much that i think it would be very easy to cause offence without realising you were doing so

    I agree with you ! Today I have been out and bought a wedding outfit..unusually ..it had to be black because the brides them is black and gold and wants everyone to wear black !!!!!!
    I have had brain surgery - sorry if I am a little confused sometimes ;)
  • stas4949stas4949 Forumite
    236 Posts
    Tricky situation! Three things:
    • Not white or cream (as per this thread!)
    • Not black as you will look like you're in mourning for your ex-marriage
    • Also no hats with veils - again too grieving widow
    Really you just need some kind of reasonably demure skirt suit, ie sophisticated but not showy.

    Also you might want to practice what you'll say when people inevitably ask you how you feel or if you mind? I know you say you're still friends but it would be good to have an answer prepared!


    hhhmmmm hadn't even thought what I would say to people... can't really say "she's welcome to the cheating lying *******" :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: and that I'm better off without him!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe the old line of "we grew apart" would be much more appropriate (?sp) ;)
    thanks for the advice though........
  • GladGlad Forumite, Board Guide
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    Hi, Martin’s asked me to post this in these circumstances: I’ve asked Board Guides to move threads if they’ll receive a better response elsewhere (please see this rule) so this post/thread has been moved to another board, where it should get more replies. If you have any questions about this policy please email [EMAIL="abuse@moneysavingexpert.com"][email protected][/EMAIL]. :)
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