wedding worries

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Weddings & Anniversaries
50 replies 2.9K views


  • roswellroswell Forumite
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    Are you having red wine at the wedding ? ooops tripped im so sorry
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    Updated - November 2012
  • BeclesBecles Forumite
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    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    My Mam picked a wedding style dress for my wedding - floor length with lots of frilly bits in white with a very pale blue pattern on it.

    As well as looking like a wedding dress, it looked awful on her. Not being horrid, but she's small and currently suffering from a weight gain due to menopause/HRT. The dress did nothing for her figure and she just looked like a sack of spuds in it.

    She thought it was wonderful and there was no telling her that it was not suitable, so I had a word with my Dad instead. He managed to persuade her that it wasn't suitable and offered to buy her any dress she wanted.

    I engineered a visit to the Metro Centre (local huge shopping mall) as I needed bridal shoes and undies and said I needed her help. As we passed shops, I commented on a couple of dresses in shop windows and said "ooh that's pretty. It's a shame you bought the other dress".

    Eventually she decided she could maybe have a look at other dresses, and we bought a lovely one in Debenhams that looked like a proper dress and made her look stunning as well.

    I don't know if you can pick any bits of my plan out to help with SIL, but thought I'd post it in case you can!
    Here I go again on my own....
  • bunty109bunty109 Forumite
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    I think if your OH tried to warn her befroe she bought it and she went ahead anyway then that shows her intent. Let her get on with it: she's the one who people are going to think is sad for trying to upstage the bride.

    If she says anything b1tchy to you on the day, then I'd drop in a comment about having tried on a dress like hers but worrying it looked a bit trashy ;) (then you eye her up and down and pull a face as if to say that's just how it makes her look). :rotfl:

    Chances are, if you have a put down all prepared then someone else will already have put her in her place and she'll be feeling very uncomfortable in that dress!!! LOL
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  • acrossacross Forumite
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    that is so over the top dont worry people will just look at her and laugh to themselves thinking "where ya goin in that luv!" thay all know whos wedding they have come too and the bride cannot be outshined you will feel like a million dollars and whatever she has on doesnt matter, i had one who turned up in a cream oriental style thing like she was a bridesmaid or the bride even very ott! with a change of outfit for night do as well!!! noone could outshine i'm afraid!!!!!!!! other guests just think "where is she going! who is that!!" never a bride themselves half ov em i'm afraid!!!!!!!!! have a great day she isnt worth wasting your time on believe me youve enough to do for your special day! have fun! x
  • Amanda65Amanda65 Forumite
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    Your dress sounds fab - understated and sophisticated - in fact the complete opposite of the tacky OTT dress in the link.

    Please don't let her immature and selfish behaviour spoil your special day, just feel sorry for her as she is obviously a spoilt little girl used to getting her own way. If this a Just William tale she would be Violet Elizabeth, scweeming and scweeming until she made herslef sick!
  • carolpinkdreamercarolpinkdreamer Forumite
    606 Posts
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    I think your wedding guests will probably already know that the SIL is a selfish nasty cat.
    To go ahead and buy it when your partner had asked her not to is spiteful.
    My advice is to COMPLETELY IGNORE her dress on YOUR big day. Don't mention it at all. She's the one who will look silly and mean.
    Enjoy YOUR day x
  • sarahlouise210sarahlouise210 Forumite
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    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    When you are planning a wedding it is a very emotional time ...even the smallest thing can upset you ..let alone your SIL buying the dress when she had already been spoken to about it. I do not think there is any chance that others will not know you are the bride -especially as there are so few of you! You will know your SIL better than us ..but she could just have wanted to show you that your day was special and she was prepared to buy a special outfit ..everyone may think its tacky etc..but she likes it and spent a lot on it!! I am sure you will outshine her - its your day and on your wedding dau it is almost like having tunnel vision..nothing else will matter to you but getting married - and your husband to be will only have eyes for you! Enjoy!
    I have had brain surgery - sorry if I am a little confused sometimes ;)
  • AgutkaAgutka Forumite
    2.4K Posts
    My SIL sort of upstaged me at my wedding, turning up in a short dress that was slightly too small. With her boobs not quite under control, people were commenting that she should not have turned up like that to a church. And she was my witness! I just thought it was funny, she looked like someone's mistress.
    That dress in the picture does not look bridal, unless it was the only one in church, standing at the front. People will comment on the inappropriatness (sp) of it and you will still be definitely THE one to look at. Surely your guests know which one the bride is. Don't let her get to you, just enjoy your day and the run up to it.
  • ftbworriedftbworried Forumite
    358 Posts
    Its is TERRIBLE manners to wear white/ivory to someone elses wedding. It's just bad etiquette. I had a cream with big pink flowers on dress that I wanted to wear to my BILs weddding and i showed the bride beforehand as i didnt know whether it was too 'weddingdress' (although it had big pink flowers on!!!). If she'd have said i'd prefer if you steered away from cream then i wouldnt have been offended.

    There are some great suggestions here on how to broach it- but make sure you DO say if you're not happy. It's your day.

    Anyhoo you are lucky that your guests are bothering to dress up- my SIL (who doesn't get on with me) showed her defiance at having to attend my wedding by coming dressed like she was going to Tesco. She did look very odd in the pictures tho and loads of people noticed! ;)
  • I agree with all the other posts. YOU are the bride, you are going to look beautiful and I think she knows it, hence her sad attempt at trying to upstage you. You should be flattered that she is making such an effort!

    I agree that the dress she picked is hideous and most people will be laughing at her behind her back rather than thinking she is the bride, so don't spend another second worrying about it and concentrate on pampering yourself and enjoying the build up to the most special day in your life. Have a wonderful day and a long and happy marriage xx
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