wedding worries

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Weddings & Anniversaries
50 replies 2.9K views
shellmundoshellmundo Forumite
92 Posts
edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Weddings & Anniversaries
hi i am getting married in april of this year and im just having a small do with only 12 family members there. i have requested that they did not go to any expense as i can not afford a big fancy do.
anyway my sister in law to be has sent me a picture of what her dress is like and it just looks like a wedding dress to me.
what do you think i should do as i dont want to tell her that she can not wear the dress but i dont want people thinking its a double wedding or even worse that shes the bride.
here is a picture of her dress so you can look at it and decide if you think it looks like a bridal dress or not

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/BNWT-COAST-LILYANA-CREAM-LACE-DRESS-MOUTH-WATERING_W0QQitemZ330090967649QQihZ014QQcategoryZ11553QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

sorry about the link but it was the only way i could think to get the picture on if i have done anything wrong please just say.
:hello: shellmundo :hello:
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Replies

  • I would send her a quick email saying something like why would you wear a wedding dress to my wedding? You're joking right?

    Or something equally unsubtle... :) I would be really upset if it was me, it sounds like maybe she's jealous?
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  • sarahlouise210sarahlouise210 Forumite
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    I like the dress...but it really depends what you are wearing - are you wearing a full legnth dress ??? You are in a difficult position...but at th eend of the day it is YOUR wedding and everyone will focus on you..they will..honest!!!
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  • I think that the best policy is to be up front and honest- just say to her that you've seen the picture and that you are worried because it looks so much like a wedding dress that people might think she is the bride or it is a double wedding. I can't think of anyone taking offence at that.

    (Personally I think it is a bit in-your-face for a guest's dress........)
    Hope for the best, plan for the worst.
  • babybloozbabyblooz Forumite
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    It's considered bad form to wear anything too 'showy' that takes attention away from the bride on HER day.

    I think it looks like she is wanting the attention to be on her!

    Having said that, I went to a wedding where the grooms sister did the full cream long dress with lots of chiffon, and then to top it all off, had an enormous cream hat, with a veil over her face. She glided down to the pew with a demure expression on her heavily made up face, and I wanted to give her a smack!

    I think someone should have taken her on one side and told her to grow up!

    You should never attempt to outshine the bride. It just screams to everyone that YOU WANT TO BE NOTICED!!!!!!!
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  • is it possible that she has sent you the picci so you can say "hey it's great" but she knows how skint you are and she is really buying it for you?
    just a thought....
    otherwise it's YOUR day and your guests will only have eyes for you and take time to enjoy the whole experience, no-one can ever take that away from you.
    big hugs.
    when things go wrong, Don't go with them!
  • thanks for the replies-
    the reason why im a bit concerned about telling her to wear something else is that we dont get on the greatest and dont want to cause any tension/unease on the big day.
    also i am wearing a full length dress but as i said it is a cheap do it is not all that fancy- dont get me wrong thats all i wanted, but i just dont want to be upstaged. i just didnt know if i was just over reacting to it all.
    thanks again!
    :hello: shellmundo :hello:
  • is it possible that she has sent you the picci so you can say "hey it's great" but she knows how skint you are and she is really buying it for you?
    just a thought....
    no not a possibility as she has already bought it and it is in her size and not mine.
    :hello: shellmundo :hello:
  • JustieJustie Forumite
    1.8K Posts
    etiquette for weddings is usually don't wear white or cream unless you're the bride....

    is she asking 'is it ok to wear this' cos she's thinking of buying it or is she just telling you she's wearing it? If you don't get on too well then how about another family member having a quiet word. I'd much rather someone told me beforehand than to find out afterwards that it wasn't appropriate... If she's wearing it with a jacket then it wouldn't be so bad but on it's own it's very bridal :eek:

    my reply crossed with your last post...
    she needs telling either by you or someone else.
  • bunty109bunty109 Forumite
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    Is there not someone in the family who could have a word with her for you? Would your OH or MIL to be not perhaps point out that it is rather flashy for the proposed do you are planning (they can say it is their point of view and not yours and it might upset/antagonise her less)?

    If you don't get on then there's always the chance she is doing it to upstage you. Personally I really don't like it so it wouldn't worry me as much as if she turned up in something I really loved!!! ;)
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  • JustieJustie Forumite
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    bunty109 wrote:
    Personally I really don't like it so it wouldn't worry me as much as if she turned up in something I really loved!!! ;)
    And I certainly wouldn't pay that for it when I've seen them in Bicester Village for half that... ;)
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