Help am a loser :(

Losersteve

Please do not judge me as I already know I am a complete and utter idiot, I have lost my girlfriend and my 4 year old son due to my problems, so wouldnt mind just a bit of friendly advice. As things cannot possibly get any worse.

I have realised I am going to have to go bankrupt, I have around £35000 of debt which about £20000 is due to gambling, I know am going to get a BRO but in a silly way am glad as I never want credit again,

I'm just worried as to what else may happen to me because my last bit of credit was in the form of a £20000 loan which I obtained legally, with the intention of consolidating my debt but unfortunately I ended up trying to gamble my way out with it and needless to say I lost. My worry is I spent a few hundred online so this will be on my bank statement which is fair enough. but because of obvious reasons I barred my self of all online gambling sites, this then forced me (or my addiction should I say) to use cash withdrawals and start betting at the bookmakers and race courses to the tune of around £18000, how will I prove this money has been spent to the OR?

This was all about 6 months ago and I have been to gambling counselling ever since and have not gambled in the last 3 months and don't intend to ever again.

mysterio_2

Firstly well done for tacking your gamble issues and secondly your NO looser you've come here posted and acnowledged your debt problems that in itself needs a huuuuge pat on the back.

Have you had any advice from any of the free debt agencies yet?

some good reading to start here
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/1056083

Losersteve

Thanks for the reply, I have been advised by the CAB that my only option would be bankruptcy, and I have learnt a lot about the processes and am more than happy to pay whatever I have to in too an IPA, but when I asked them about any other things that could happen to me they say only the OR can tell me that, which just made me even more worried, it's the not knowing that's stopping me from sleeping, wish I would have stayed on the online sites now at least that would have left a paper trail therefore less explaining to the OR and embarrassment to me,

whitewing

Welcome.

You are in a bad place at the moment but won't be forever. Afaik, you will not be able to change your user name. So why don't you get a new user id that is a bit more positive and repost, before we all start to know you!

skylight

You are over worrying here. OK, it's easy to, but you need to take a step back and a deep breath.

The OR will be well aware that gamblers use the realitively new online casinos etc as well as the more traditional cash method. Don't panic. Cash is cash and although there is no proof that the money was spent on gambling, the OR will believe you. There is a lot of trust in BR.

The OR is going to delve into your finances and check there are accounts out there for you anyway - they do this to show you haven't "Hidden" anything. I am NOT saying that you have, but when this shows up that you have nothing hidden and you say that you have spent the majority in cash, then they will believe you.

The OR will actually be more interested in knowing that you have accepted you have a gambling problem and are getting it dealt with as he doesn't want to see you with problems in your BR year nor have your case file back on his desk in a few years time.

What other questions have been worrying you??

Losersteve

All I can do is be totally honest with him, last thing I would want is to be getting into any more trouble by lying or hiding things, I can't wait to hand him everything over i.e statements and confessions. It will be a huge relief, I couldn't cope with getting myself into anymore trouble especially with the law, I haven't even told my parents about this so wouldnt want to attract any unnecessary attention to my bankruptcy!

I think I have a bad vision of the OR than is actually true,

MuffinTops

Hi Steve,
I wrote a post on my diary today stating that being in financial trouble really affected my self esteem so I think a lot of us know what you're feeling to a certain extent. Many of us on here have had our addictions. Yours went under the name of gambling of which you're obviously working hard on.

It's so easy to worry about the areas of not knowing but maybe read a few diaries that resonate with you and see what happened with them and how the OR dealt with their questions and situation?

Just bear in mind that this won't last for much longer and you will find a way out of this situation and be able to move forward.

StillStanding

You're not a loser at all. It takes a lot of courage to admit to any sort of financial problems and its causes. You'll get a lot of help and advice from this place.

Losersteve

Thanks everyone for your kind words and advice,Think i will change my name as it is a bit depressing! but thats what ive felt like lately.

Sky light you have put my mind to rest a bit more. i just cant wait to start the ball rolling and getting my life back on track. thinking about starting a diary once ive changed my name, so people in a similar situation to me can use my experiences,

Thanks again steve

Losersteve

Quick question, when you apply for a loan and it asks purpose of the loan I put down debt consolidation as that is what i should have done, how much of a big deal is this?

Bear in mind it did say this will not effect the outcome on your loan

debtinfo

hi steve, feel free to ask any questions you feel like, i used to be an examiner (the person at the OR's office that will interview you) so have an insight into what happens there and i can assure you that there is nothing to worry about.

It is true that you will probably get a BRO, but it is not seen as a punishment, it is a protection both for creditors from you and also for yourself, by making it harder for you to fall into the same trap again, but it seems from your post that you realise that already.

It is good that you are getting counselling and if you can evidence that then it can count in your favour in deciding how long your BRO would be (ie because you are then less likely to gamble in the future)

Do bare in mind that the examiner in your case does have a job to do and so will ask you in depth questions, this is not because they think you are lying or anything like that but because when they make their reports they need to account for where the money has gone, now if it was in gambling accounts that would be easy but in your case it is not, now that is not a big problem because the OR does not have to have evidence as such but they need to be able come to a conclusion that what you have said is reasonable and more likely than not.

So what you can do it to be prepared and start getting the information ready for the inevitable questions they will ask. so start having a think about what you were doing, so did you follow certain patterns, gamble on certain days or times, eg weekends, on the way home from work etc, where did you go, which bookmakers or casinos etc, wpild the people there no you, did you have accounts or have to sign in to these places etc, what amounts did you gamble, small and often or large amounts at a time, why did you pick certain types of gambling or certain types of bets, do you have any betting slips from those times etc.

All the examiner really wants to know is that it is likely that you did gamble it rather than for instance buying assets that you havent told them about etc