Who to ask to be Bridesmaid?

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Weddings & Anniversaries
21 replies 1.4K views
vickitoria100vickitoria100 Forumite
411 Posts
edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Weddings & Anniversaries
I have three close girlfriends and ideally only want one bridesmaid for costs and also, IMHO too many look a bit silly!

Potential BM 1 - who i'd call my best friend. will be around when i need her and offer advice. problem is, she might try and get too involved and isn't 100% keen on the groom and doesn't try to hide it! Potential BM 2 and 3 and some other guests might have their noses out of joint if BM1 "gets the gig" as others aren't her biggest fan.

Potential BM 2 - Used to be very very close but have since drifted apart a bit (starting to see each other more again recently). Always said she would be my BM but a bit 'flittery' kind of a girl and so prob wont be much help! But a good friend non the less. Also used to date the best man and so there might be friction there!

Potential BM 3 - a very good friend I've known since school but we're not quite as close as BM 1 or 2. Would have the right level of involvement and be dependable. But lives quite a fair distance away and so wont be as available as the other 2. Would be least offended if I didn't ask her.

Any thoughts welcome! x x

What should I do? 47 votes

Potential BM 1
23% 11 votes
Potential BM 2
0% 0 votes
Potential BM 3
4% 2 votes
All of them (sod the cost and even though I don't want three!)
6% 3 votes
None of them
65% 31 votes


  • belfastgirl23belfastgirl23 Forumite
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    I'd see if you can find a young and malleable relative (or even relative of HTB - major brownie points family-wise) to do bridesmaid duties - none of your friends can be offended since it is someone so obviously different. She doesn't have to be too involved and you can then pull in your friends where you want their involvement :) But this is just the tip of the iceberg, you may as well accept that weddings involve offending multiple people and live with it :D

  • TustasticTustastic Forumite
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    I vote you choose none of them - you're damned if you do and damned if you don't, according to the information you've given.
    The best excuse for this would be to choose one young relative as your bridesmaid or pageboy.
    If choice of a child from either of your families would throw up the same tensions, why not contact your local paper saying you and your fiance would like to give a little girl/boy the chance to be a bridesmaid or pageboy at your wedding. They'd have to send in a photo and a letter explaining why it should be them. You'd get somebody who thinks they're lucky to be playing a part in your wedding.
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  • hjb123hjb123 Forumite
    32K Posts
    If you cant decide between them then you should probably have none - just perhaps give each of them something to do or to be in charge of or to help you with in preparation for the day or on the day. Have you any nieces/nephews on either side or sister in law or cousins that could do the duty?
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  • EmmsEmms Forumite
    956 Posts
    Another vote for none! Each one has a bad point so it sounds more hassel than its worth!

  • Thanks for all your replies!

    I had thought of enlisting a token small person to help but I only have a brother and no little girls in my family and neither does my h2b (or any sisters!)
  • Your best friend should do it, you obviously think of her as your best friend. She may get too involved and not be 100% on your groom but she is like that because she is looking out for you! That's what your bridesmaids there for. Perhaphs a chat with her when you inform her of her duties as she'll understand why your being honest with her. Maybe once she see's you as getting married she accept your groom to be!
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  • victoryvictory Forumite
    16.2K Posts
    I vote for none of them...they all come with their corresponding baggage and that is the last thing you want on the big day or before in among the preparations...worry, stress and fretting over their roles, delivery, on the day behaviour....no, none of them:D
    misspiggy wrote: »
    I'm sure you're an angel in disguise Victory :)
  • Go for BM1 - you've already said she's your best friend. Give the others something to do by all means, but it's your day after all!
    I'm so sexy it's a wonder my underpants don't explode.
  • Fritha_2Fritha_2 Forumite
    1.4K Posts
    I've voted for none of them! I did the same thing, decide against having any bridesmaids, but I roped in my friends gorgeous toddler to be an honourary bridesmaid for me. I'm sure we could lend her out for a reasonable sum ;-)
    Comping, freebieing and trying to pay the mortgage off early!
  • Fritha wrote:
    I'm sure we could lend her out for a reasonable sum ;-)

    Awh, how kind Fritha! not sure your friend would be happy but thanks all the same!

    You all make very good points and each time I read one of your messages I agree and then the next person makes me change my mind!

    None of them seems to be winning though....
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