I'm a Dad, Seperating From My Wife...

princessdreamer

olibrofiz wrote: »

It's sad for both sides when these things happen but, anyone not thought that the OP's wife may be breathing a sigh of relief? I did

It takes a while to get to that point. I'm still not there the day I (hopefully) win the right to let the children stay in their home till they are grown up will be the day I say thank god that is over.

dramaqueen1973

Hi

I agree it is very very sad when this happens and kids are involved!

I am speaking from experience I was the one left with 2 kids too, it broke my heart and I never ever thought I would get over it!

However, 10 years late, I look back at my life and realised that man did me the biggest favour ever! I have married my man and the kids adore him and they have a great relationship with him, they ALSO have a great realtionship with their dad who left them and me all those years ago! I chose not to "slag" him off in front of the kids or !!!!! about his woman with whom he had been having this affair, I chose to hold my head up high and just accept that he no longer wanted me and I deserved better! He still does not pay anything towars the kids and after waiting for his consious to sink in I decided as it had not to go to CSA who are currently pursing him in court -p.s. he went on to have 2 further kids with this woman - p.ps not my problem he ant afford 4 Kids - thats his problem!!!!

10 years on - Im happily married and have fantastic career - He is married to woman - 2 kids - yet I heard he not been Mr Faithfull again - plus he cant afford all the kids he chose to have!

So my anger went and I hope for the sake of your kids you both try to reach an amicable stand, whereas your wife can move on and you are happy with the decisions you took.

Drama
xx

Debicj

OP - you may think the grass is greener in new pastures but I think you will find it is just as hard to cut!

My ex left me with a 3 year old child and 8 months pregnant with my 2nd child. I was devastated at the time as I had a mortgage to pay and had left my job 2 days before as the plan was for me to stay at home with the children while he worked.

However, I managed during the next few years and was pleasantly surprised at the life I could have on benefits and tax credits - it wasn't as bad as I expected, particularly when I went back to work part-time once the children were both at school.

My ex was full of promises regarding financial help that still haven't materialised 13 years later. It has been a long battle via the CSA to get a reasonable monthly payment. He put himself first, right from the start and barely contributed anything, and since he remarried and had more children, mine have been 2nd class citizens. As others have said, the 2nd wife soon puts a stop to any financial help going to the first family.

All I can suggest is that if at all possible, keep things amicable with your wife. Do your bit regarding having the children to stay regularly and paying a fair amount etc. Your wife may not forgive you but she will appreciate a bit of time to herself and it will make your life much easier and less stressful if the CSA is not involved and you are not having one long argument about money and the kids.

Finally, I can say that time is a great healer. Your wife will probably get over this eventually and make a new life. However, you might end up like my ex. It makes me laugh when I see him now. He's living the same life with the same problems as he had 14 years ago - just with a different woman! I have a new husband with a lifestyle that my ex could never have provided. So I am glad that he did me the favour of leaving sooner rather than later.