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Son's birthday on 25th December!!!

124

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  • jackieb
    jackieb Posts: 27,605 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I agree, the second post explains it better. But get him a card at least next year! ;)
  • I don't think its placing too much value on material things to expect a Birthday card from your parent, no matter what day your birthday falls.
  • 3rd attempt - if i lose this this time, i give up........

    No birthday card = mean. hand write a note if you must, just make sure you wish him a happy birthday.

    You are making yourself sound worse than you need to. He wasnt disappointed because he knows his birthday treat is a shopping trip with you on boxing day. If you failed to do that, then the disappointment would show. Mid week birthdays sometimes have treats a few days later at weekend, so it's no different in that respect.
    Midsummer birthday = fab idea. Needs to be a set date, same each yr. Tell family/friends who buy gifts to do so on his summer birthday, and no b'day pressies at xmas. Need to start it off with his extra b'day tho - mean to make him wait 18months at his age between birthdays.I used to know of a family who ran this system successfully for a child.

    Edilass---- DANGER!! At your age, it could be very stressful to think you are another year older TWICE in one year,.....best just stick to your xmas b'day for the sake of your health :):):)
    *** Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly ***

    If I don't reply to you, I haven't looked back at the thread.....PM me :)
  • Mumstheword, take it from someone who has celebrated several too many birthdays on Christmas Day, it doesn't take a lot to make a person feel special on their birthday even if everyone else is opening parcels.

    All you need do is lay aside a half and hour for them to open their birthday parcels on their own with everyone watching the same you would (I presume) if you celebrated your birthday mid year. Then light the candles on a birthday cake and sing Happy Birthday, once again the same you would do for anyone, big or small, on their birthday.
  • and you edited while I was typing Mums...:)

    When I was aged around 9 I had an "official" birthday party for friends on 5th November when we had fireworks once Dad got home.
  • I don't think its placing too much value on material things to expect a Birthday card from your parent, no matter what day your birthday falls.
    I thought it was clear from my post that I was talking obout gifts not cards. However, we don't exchange cards in our family. Personally, although I think hand made ones are nice, I don't think a signed piece of card means much. They're handy for sending to people you hardly ever see, otherwise I don't think they're necessary. It's different if a child has been brought up to believe that this is an important gesture, and I don't know whether this is the case with the OP. Otherwise what the parent DOES for the child is much more important than writing happy birthday on a piece of paper.

    The original post didn't put the OP in a very good light to be fair, but the second post made total sense to me and I don't think it sounds like there is a problem in any way.
    May all your dots fall silently to the ground.
  • thesaint wrote:
    Wow,
    I didn't expect any different I suppose, but I guess most of you were right to say what you said. Firstly I must say that he wasn't bothered at all, I know him well enough to know when he is hiding things, he wears his heart on his sleeve.
    I'm sorry, but I don't know how to quote peoples responses.

    K60sav, I know where you are coming from. I fought for over a year to see him reguarly. There is no question of him wondering if I care about him, plenty of hugs and kisses from a 9 year old boy is rare these days. He stays at my house twice a week, one of the days I take him to a swimming lesson and then to football practice, the other day is a family day. I do take him on holiday with me(Twice to the U.S and twice to the Caribbean) so we spend good quality time together. I don't mind taking him shopping on Boxing day because he can choose whatever he wants.

    Glenstan, Your idea wouln't work because all our family always go to my Grandmothers and everyone is opening presents e.t.c. so although he is made a big fuss over, it's not his day. If his birthday was any other day it would work excellently.

    Tustastic and jackieb, your idea's are also really good. We do the theme parks, parks, library, roller skating, ice skating e.t.c quite often, but having "dad vouchers" would be special because he could choose for himself, I will be doing that with him.

    We had a great day, he was up 'til about midnight when he zonked out on the sofa exhausted. He has just woke up, so after he's watched "The Simpsons" we are going to get dressed and go into town to spend, spend, spend.

    Merry Christmas to you all.

    I understand now that you are a good dad and I hope that one day you will decide to buy your son a birthday card. Would it be too much to ask if you and your family bought your son a card. You could buy a christmas cake or christmas log and put candles on it and sing happy birthday, it would only take five minutes.

    I think its a crying shame for your son not even to get a birthday card. He must have to see relatives and friends getting a card/presents/party for their birthday throughout the year. Yet he gets no recognition of it. All you have to do is buy a card!
  • Janepig
    Janepig Posts: 16,780 Forumite
    Dummie wrote:
    Just wanted to add that it's my son's birthday today (Boxing Day). As usual, my parents hasn't said anything even though I spoke to them only yesterday when I called to wish them a Merry Christmas. My parents live abroad and NEVER call me. It's expected for me to call. Since DS was born 2yrs ago they have never asked about him. My in-laws on the other hand call every other day. They always ask about us and we have web cam conversations at least once a week so they can see how their grandson is doing. They sent over gifts and cards for Christmas and his birthday and are sad that they cannot physically be here with us. We will therefore have a party with them via webcam so they can 'join in' with our celebrations and sing happy birthday to him. It's sad. My son doesn't even know he has 2 sets of grandparents.

    I hope your son had a lovely day - my DS was one today (see my thread in the arms) and as stressful as I found it to have Christmas day over with only to have to start all over again today, we did end up having a lovely day today with my dad, brother and girlfriend, and DH's mum, dad, gran and brother. Oh and DD as well, controlling proceedings!!!! As I said, I do find it all a bit of an effort, but I couldn't imagine doing nothing. In fact, all the presents for Christmas and today were bought by the end of October so at least that bit of stress was out of the way early.

    I'm glad your sadness about missing out in your childhood hasn't stopped you celebrating with your son and husband. Happy birthday and big hugs to your little boy!!!!!!

    Jxx
    And it looks like we made it once again
    Yes it looks like we made it to the end
  • Janepig
    Janepig Posts: 16,780 Forumite
    Danni wrote:
    My daughter is 3 today (must be a popular time for birthdays) and the thought of her daddy not giving her a present shocks me. I absolutely hate shopping, but still make the effort to go out Christmas and birthday present hunting as the look on my daughter's face when she receives a gift is worth all the effort. She has lots of family on her daddy's side, and although they all spoil her rotten she still gets a lot of presents of mammy and daddy, and if we were ever to split up that would continue. Even a card with some money in would show you cared, but you sound as if you can't be bothered.

    Happy birthday to your DD too. Hope you all had a lovely day.

    Jxx
    And it looks like we made it once again
    Yes it looks like we made it to the end
  • My EX had done nothing prior to the Christmas gifts, I kept asking him what his intensions are/buying, etc - all I got was comments like - "I cant be bothered".

    In the end, he got his A5S into gear, took them to toys-r-us and spent £55 each on them. Ok - it was a nice suggestion, but he had no idea what was suitable or not. Plus, he never wrapped them, just gave the stuff to the kids straight away - which to me took the total excitement out of Christmas for them. DS is 10 & DD is 7.

    I always try and share birthday's Christmas's etc, this yr, my EX took my daughter out to Pizza Hut for her birthday, he actually brought her a cake with candles, and gifts. This is someone "who never bother's" and leaves everything to me, but he was slowly realising that "daddy was becoming a waste of space" and changed his ways. I think too, you should make the effort. You will soon realise where you went wrong, when your son decides not to visit.

    I hate shopping - and that's coming from a woman, but I still have to make the effort - regardless. I do all my Christmas shopping throughout the year, I totally hate all the rushing,pushing,shoving etc in shops. BUt my kids still get presents.

    Im sorry, but there is no excuse for anyone be it a MAN or a WOMAN, to make the effort where their child is concerned.
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