A Bank Holiday Present From Hell

CH27

Have you managed to talk to her & find out where the money has been spent?

RAS

There are two parts to sorting out debt.

The mechanical bit, about paying it back, which is often the easier bit.

And the bit about understanding how it happened; without that all you do is wipe the slate clean for a re-run.

You need to know EXACTLY what she spent the moeny on. I appreciate that it snowballed once the interest rates started to kick in and if you are right about some of those APrs, then it could have snowballed quite fast.

But core to the problem is how did the debts start? You need to know that before you do anything else.

david39

I agree wholeheartedly with Paulc - the most likely way of spending that amount of money without you seeing evidence of it in material objects or changed lifestyle, is through gambling.

Like Paul, I've been there and know how easy it is to fall into that trap.

As others have said, it is imperitive that you find out where the money has gone and, if it is gambling, then your wife has an addiction and should be treated as such.

Like drug addiction, she was probably unwilling to admit this to herself let alone talk to you about it.

Although you feel hurt - and it sounds as though you want to ultimately seek revenge - you should also consider that if she has a gambling addiction then what she really needs is your help and support. That is a difficult quality to ask at this moment, I am sure, but if she has fallen to the lure of heavy gambling then maybe you should also be looking at why she needed to do it in the first place.