A Bank Holiday Present From Hell

Valentino246

I have been advised bankruptcy will involve taking the house to free the equity anyway and IVA is the only real option here. To be honest I dont know what to believe as these companies only seem interested in making money regardless of the position.

Valentino246

I cant see anything in this house we havent got anything of value here. it appears the debt repayments were so high she was clearing out our joint account and replacing it with debt. It was so well hidden and I thought our relationship was built on trust. I did feel something was wrong but couldnt understand what when the post stopped coming in and she seemed to have a excuse for everyhting. Lies upon lies upon lies.

RAS

So I suggest that you go back and talk to CCCS, national Debt Line and CAP, (assuming you are in England or Wales). Talk to them for a while, until you understand your options. Also go over to the BR forum where people have been through it.

If this debt (other than Sainbos) is in your wife's name, then over £50K of the equity is yours. Even if you have to pay the joint loan, you have a small amount left. I really do think you need to sit down with your children and your wife had to fess up to the children.

Sounds awful, it is. Been the child in that situation. I did not speak to my father for much of the rest of his life, but that was not because of the debt and bankruptcies. it was because he was a lying cheat.

CH27

Are you sure you have the full facts now?

You need to be calm & work through your options. Don't rush into a decision you may regret later.

RAS

Valentino246 wrote: »

I cant see anything in this house we havent got anything of value here. it appears the debt repayments were so high she was clearing out our joint account and replacing it with debt. It was so well hidden and I thought our relationship was built on trust. I did feel something was wrong but couldnt understand what when the post stopped coming in and she seemed to have a excuse for everyhting. Lies upon lies upon lies.

Hi

1. You need to sit down with her and do full credit checks on her (all three).

2. She then needs to do a Subject Access request for all the accounts where she has debts (should show where the money has gone).

3. Do SARs for your joint accounts too.

4. For safety's sake do credit checks on yourself incase there is other stuff she has opened without you knowing.

I suggest you might put the house on the market, one option being that she goes BR once it is sold and you pay the joint debt from your equity.

However, I really do think she has been stashing some of this money somewhere (possibly with family?)

moocowone

She's lied to you for 7 years, fraudulently taken out loans in your name, ruined your family financially, and now you're giving up everything to protect her?

Well, it's your choice... It might even be 'the right' thing to do, but there are lots of non-financial issues here that need resolving first.

sickasachip13

I've no real advice I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry to hear of your awfully complicated situation (financially and emotionally). Also, this is all very new and raw and although you do need to start dealing with, in one way or another, you also need to step-back and take a breath. You've an awful lot of big decisions to make. Best of luck.

pitkin2020

WOW, that is harsh. I would certainly avoid bankruptcy at all costs if you can sell your house to pay for it. Its a tough one as you have issues of the heart and the head and can take 1 of 2 routes, fight or flee. No one can tell you which is the right decision only you know that.

I know if it was me I would make sure she has a hefty life insurance policy...............................lol

Oneday77

I'm so sorry to hear about the mess you've found. To begin with as others have said get all the facts.
Run credit checks against each of you and for the big 3 agencies, Equifax, Experian & Callcredit(i think).
Tally up who owes which debt or jointly.
Once you know the full extent you can then try looking at DMPs as individuals, possibly.
If teh mortgage is joint then I would say teh house is at risk. If it isn't and you can service the £28k in your name then you OH can deal with the rest and make herself BR.

All I would say with certainty is don't touch a fee charging company. All that happens is they sponge more money off people in need. The debt charities are just as good and all you money goes towards being debt free.

Good luck.

LillythePink

How old are the children?

Why are you thinking of an IVA unless all of the debt is in your name - surely she would be the one to have to do this

How has she reacted since telling you?

Surely you noticed that you had no money - you say she was clearing out the joint account and that she cleared out all of your savings - how did you not see this?

Who's to say that if you bail her out she wont do it again.....after all, you are thinking of doing it now, next time won't be as easy as you won't have any assets to sell, but surely if she has run up this amount of debt behind your back, she is addicted to something and she won't just stop because it's suddenly all gone away

Something's not right about this......