Advice needed: Problem with the parent of the child that has been bullying my DD...

reeree

kippers wrote: »

I think I will go and see the police today and get it logged and i will take the letter that we took to the headteacher too. I'll have to try and find our local police station as i've never had cause to use it.

The only thing i've thought of since, is that my daughter has been invited to two parties at the weekend that her dd hasn't been invited too. She said her dd was in tears on Friday night but didn't say why except it had gone on long enough. As far as our dd knows and the school knows, nothing happened on Friday at school. Her dd was very good at bullying and she could be just trying to get my dd in trouble again. Previously she would suddenly start crying in the playground and telling everyone my dd had hit her, swore at her, told her not to play....it would be all the things that she actually did to my daughter. My dd personality changed over the two years and after we finally found out what was going on it took a long time to get 'my old girl back'.

I have another daughter who is 21 months older and they have never ever ever hit each other. I don't smack so my girls never learnt to do this either so i know my dd wouldn't hit anyone in the playground.

The bully has already taken advantage of the situation telling children in the playground all about her mum coming round to our house on sat. My dd did the right thing and told children coming up to her that she wasn't aloud to talk about it and she told her teacher who said she would report it to the headteacher. I am very proud of how my dd handled it.

Thank you all for your advice

I can so relate to the crying in the playground trick, when my grandson was being bullied one of the bullies actually bit himself on the arm leaving deep teeth marks and told the teachers my dg had done it to him, my dg got a right rollicking for it, it was only the fact that one of the other kids had witnessed it that the teachers realised the other kid had been lying although no apologies were given

Fang_3

Contact the police immediately and make sure that they visit this woman at home. As well as that I would also be contacting a solicitor to see what other options are available to you. Will your daughter and the bullying scum be attending the same secondary school? If so it might be an idea to contact them, as well as the Local Education Authority and make them aware of the situation and see if it's possible to have this bully moved to a different school.

Desperado99

Fang wrote: »

Contact the police immediately and make sure that they visit this woman at home. As well as that I would also be contacting a solicitor to see what other options are available to you. Will your daughter and the bullying scum be attending the same secondary school? If so it might be an idea to contact them, as well as the Local Education Authority and make them aware of the situation and see if it's possible to have this bully moved to a different school.

When our DD was bullied, the headteacher told us that the LEA had to be informed of any bullying, so the LEA should already know (but check that this has happened as I agree with Fang).

Incidentally, DD was bullied outside of school (Child in question lives near us, and if he saw her he would try and run her over with his bike) but the headteacher still spoke to the parents about it.

supermezzo

I wonder if her DD hasn't been invited to the parties because your DD has been invited? If that has been cited as a reason, it would explain why the Mother has suddenly turned up out of the blue after all this time.

RAS

The other possibility is that the parents of the children having parties do not want to invite a known bully?

pimento

Looks to me like the bully learned all she knows from her mother.

Hope you get it sorted out.

sjc3

Oh dear, what a horrible thing to happen. Its bizarre that seeing as your child and hers only see each other at school, that she saw fit to approach you about this at your home. That must have been a very upsetting and intimidating experience.

She knows she is in the wrong because she wouldn't treat you or speak to you in such a vile way in front of other parents. Can see where her child has learnt her bullying behaviour from cant you, what an awful role model.

My sister also had another mum from her little boys school turn up at her door. She stood there cool as a cucumber, asked if my sisters little boy was called XXXXX and if he was in Miss XXX class. When my sister said yes she asked her to keep him away from her child as she doesn't like him mixing with kids who have special needs:eek:. To say my sister was in bits was an understatement.

She spoke with the head and alot of other parents had complained. So much so that she called this woman into her office for a talk. If the school wont do anything I would phone the police and ask their advice on this kind of situation.

LJM

i think you will find out of school hours it is the responsibility of the police to sort this out not the school

bernie115

Hi there - i would definitely inform the police but also if you know this bully is going to go to the same secondary school as your daughter - get in touch with the school's head and explain the situation. A similar incident happened with my son and i informed the head of the new secondary school and stressed that i didn't want the bully and my son to be in the same form class or any other subject classes. This was arranged and although they see other by sight at their new school at least they don't have to be within a close proximity of each other. Good luck x

kippers

Thank you all so much for your replies. It helps to read them.

I did contact the police by phone and they have logged this and gave me a crime incident number. The police said that can send a policeman round to chat to us about the options...basically they can send someone round to her to hear her side of the story which may in it's self stop her from coming approaching us again, but we must be aware that she will probably be making up stories saying how awful we were too.
He asked me to visit our neighbours for witnesses...i have and no one saw or heard anything unfortunately.

I don't think a police visit would stop her coming round and i also think it would just fire her up even more at this moment. She has an appointment to see the headteacher tomorrow and my husband is going to ask for feedback on the meeting.

As regards to secondary school...yes she has applied to the same secondary school...if my dd gets a place we will make an appointment to see the head. The headteacher at my dd present school has also said that she will be recommending to the headteacher of the secondary school, that this girl will not be put in any classes with my dd.

Unfortunately our DD will be going to school on one of two private buses that are run by parents (the schools round here are really bad). We have to pay £45 per month for each child (my dd1 goes there now and it's a fantastic school) and i am worried that she will get a place on the same bus as the bully. I have already contacted the committee with our concerns but they haven't confirmed that they will keep the girls on separate buses yet (though you get allocated a space on a first come first served basis and we have to wait until places are confirmed at secondary school first which will happen on 1st March). The bullies mother is on benefits so how she will afford the bus is beyond me as we struggle now with the money for the bus...and it is a private bus so as far as i'm aware she won't get any help with the bus fees?

I feel that the law/school rules are not on the side of the victim and it makes me really fed up with it all. Every phone call, every knock at the door, we expect it to be her again...why should we have to live this way!