Daughter upset at school

*zippy*

My Daughter is in the last year of primary school and has a relief teacher until Easter. This teacher seems to have taken a dislike to my DD and she has come home crying about it a few times this week. My DD says she is getting rows all the time even when she tells the teacher it was someone else and a couple of times she has told the whole class that she got her work wrong.

I'm not one for running up the school every time there is a problem as I know I only have her side of the story, but I have never had complaints about her from any of the teachers she has had over the years.

She didn't want to go to school this morning so think I will have to go up there. Has anyone else had this problem or advice on how to word it to the teacher?

D&DD

Hey Zippy I think theres something in the water at the moment I've got school probs too :rotfl: I would definately make an appointment to go have a chat with the teacher hun.Make it at a time when you can see her with no distractions too otherwise you'll come away more stressed if you forget anything you wanted to say.I would point out about telling the whole class something as kids are so sensitive I know one of mine would be mortified if this happened..If you get no joy with her then go to the head of year or headmaster.Good luck

ruthyjo

Zippy - depending on the exact story you're getting from your daughter I would consider going direct to the head, especially if the difficulties are with a relief teacher, not to complain but to talk things through. I've had problems where talking to the teacher has just given then warning that I know about a situation and a teacher who criticises a child's work in front of the whole class is unlikely to be that reasonable if you confront her.

Mandles

Nip it in the bud right now as i had this with my daughter and it ended up in me having to literally carry her and drag her into school for nearly 3 years after(no exaggerattion, she was so bad in the end that she was put under a mental health worker!)
My daughter had a teacher that was very strict and ripped up childrens work in front of everyone(these are 6 year olds !) and had 3 of them in tears one day. This kind of behaviour like yours is bordering on bullying. I wrote a note in and got her moved from her class immediately as this was appauling especially when i found out she was apparently in a bad mood as they had to have a stock take and that was why..as if it was an acceptable excuse(i did nursing and had bad days but i did not shout at the patients or be mean to them(i said this to the head teacher too).
Anyway she was moved to a lower group which was fine and headmistress wanted to see me and was fabulous and my daughter got a gold award for something bizarre.Sadly the damage was done by this teacher though.
Some teachers dont like some kids & this one seems to have it in for your daughter. I would go in and see her and say that you do not want her work read out as does she not agree that this is humiliating to her?Ask if she has a problem with your daugher. And i would say i hope not to get repercussions from this visit on my daughter either as you would like it to end here as you really dont want to go to the head teacher but it is not right that your child is crying each night(lay it on thick!).If you are not happy talking to her go to the year leader or head teacher(usually excellent).
Dont stand for it , it is important that she leaves primary school with a positive view of school ready for her next school.

djdido2

i eneded up having to take my dd out of her old school as she was in the same position and was so unhappy. she turned from a girly, happy child into a sad, depressed wreck and it all came down to her class teacher. (dd is 9). Had 3 calls from the school in 2 wks asking could i collect her for one petty reason or another. and i found out she was making excuses to get out of there. i tried allsorts to get to the bottom of it and it turned out this teacher just did not like my dd.

she said she had concerns about her "self-harming (absolutely preposterous) and telling tales on kids that had been at the school longer than dd. this teacher suggested that dd be referred to the school counsellor and i left the place in tears. she was describing another child. not my dd. ridiculous.

changed school after much heartache and now she is back to her normal self again. dont let them get away with it!! stand your ground and get an appointment with the head.

good luck

dj

Chas

Hi Zippy. Sorry to hear that your daughter is unhappy at school.

I would definitely make an appointment to have a chat with the teacher, but I think you should tread very carefully. I wouldn't go in all guns blazing, I think I'd word it along the lines of 'my daughter seems to be unhappy at school, do you have any idea why this might be ...?'

There two sides to every story and asking the teacher for her side/opinion first might reveal something that your daughter hasn't mentioned.

I work in a primary school by the way.

Poppy9

I would raise the matter with the head as it's a supply teacher.

My DD suffered in year 5 and I made allowances for only hearing one side of the story, her feeling hard done by etc. but it got worse. I think it stemmed from the first parents meeting. He had been calling DD by another name (name of girl in class). If DD didn't respond to him and that name he got really mad with her . At the first meeting in late October it was still going on. At the meeting he starts talking about my DD but I have to say I didn't recognise the child. He said she was overly chatty and fussy. Every other teacher has complained she is too quiet in class and needs to push herself forward more. Then he gave me an A4 piece of paper with targets for the next term on for me to sign. DD name on the top but then throughout the targets it says the other girls name. This I felt was the opportune time to mention the name thing. Instead of laughing it off he went off the deep end. He was still getting her name wrong months later. There were other things though he used to tell her she was irritating and threaten her with what he was going to write in her report etc. Another parent even spoke to me about the way the teacher was treating my DD as her DD had told her!

At the next parents evening he was absent and the second class teacher was there instead. When I asked if she was still excessively chatty etc she looked taken aback and told me no, she was very well behaved, would like a class full of her etc. Third parents meeting OH came with me. It went really badly. Every put down the teacher had put in her school report OH asked for evidence. He was referring to tests they had done that she had 'failed' but when we asked for the test papers they were missing. The head teacher obtained the tests for us and DD had passed each one with flying colours. He had been referring to the other child (who's name he kept calling my DD) results. We spoke to the head about the situation and he was fantastic. He knew us (me especially well) and knew we weren't the complaining sort. He also knew DD well. It also came to light that there had been other complaints. It was also the year that the class as a whole had dreadful problems with bullying amongst the children. Anyway we drew a line under it, reassured DD and she moved on to year 6 in the same school.

Like a different child. Happy to be in school again. The year 6 was happy to meet with me after her 1st month in the class in case there were any issues but there weren't.

I do wish I had taken more notice of what my DD was saying in year 5 and tried to resolve the matter earlier. I have learnt from my mistake and will never allow the situation to continue again.

*zippy*

Thanks all for sharing your experiences doesn't it show what a difference a good or bad teacher can make. Its awful to think that some kids are putting up with this in school, its supposed to be a happy time. You have made me feel better about going up there thankyou.

Bullying was the word she used when she described it to me Mandles.

The head at the moment is her normal teacher, she is acting head while the usual one is away so she knows my DD and is very nice so wonder if its worth quietly speaking to her first.

Mandles

Poor little thing, it is bullying. My favourite teachers were old and strict but strict is not nasty or mean or bullying so she sounds out of order totally.
Sounds like you could sort it by talking to her old teacher /acting head so its easier for you as she knows her and if that doesnt work talk to the real head when she /he comes back.
Im sure it will get sorted (dont be embarrased to write down on a bit of paper things that you want to mention, if you are like me my mind goes blank when i am het up or upset). Next week could be a very different week for her after your visit and i hope it is. Just a thought and it might not be in every case but my daughter was encouraged to talk to the school nurse if she was really worried while in school in the end and i felt this was a great help. It was like having a grown up friend at school , she was lovely!

Crazychik

Go straight to the head, it needs sorting out. She is in her final yr and will need all the help guidance and support for her sats next yr. She doesnt need this hassle. You can ask for her to be moved to another class if this might help.