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Jaibaby in need of a kick up the backside!
jaibaby
Posts: 4,003 Forumite
So, I joined this forum last year and have enjoyed every second reading or replying to posts.
I also enjoy reading peoples debt diaries, and love seeing just how much support is out there. So I thought I would start one. Only, I don't really have any debts. I have no credit cards, no overdraft, no loans, nothing. Although, the reason I have none of them is that my credit status is that demolished, it may as well crumble away.......
Thanks to me thinking; "Great, I'm 18, can have 3 credit cards, run up my overdrafts etc etc" Boy, was I wrong!! I learnt the hard way, and have now, finally, repaid all owed. Well, apart from one, an overdraft with Barclays, but my case is going through for claiming the bank charges (For example, in one week I was charged £90 for an unpaid direct debit of just £2). The overdraft isn't huge (£160ish) but I am refusing to pay until the case has been sorted. If it's not in my favour, I'll just pay it off.
So, whereas many peoples problems with the diaries are they are in debt, mine is because I have a very messy life. Let me explain a bit more about me first.
I'm 26, 27 in 3 weeks time. I have three children, DD1 aged 10, DD2 aged 7 and DS aged 2 (in 3 weeks). I have been with my partner for 13 years this March. We have had our ups and downs, as many other families, but our children are very loving, well spoken and well mannered (I am told daily). I treat them as human beings and, although I do shout alot, they know I do it because I love them.
We live in a 3bed house rented from our council, with quite a nice sized back garden which is pretty flat. And out there lives our dog, a springer spaniel named Snoopy. He will be 4 in September (or 28 in dog years as DD2 reminded me this morning).
I was 16 when I fell pregnant with DD1. The doctor told me first that it either Gastroenteritis or stress, due to me doing my GCSEs at the time. Obviously, when my belly started growing and I was still throwing up 6 months later, I visited the doctor again. Asking me if there was any chance I could be pregnant, I laughed. We were always careful. I wanted to study to be a maths teacher, always had done. I didn't want a baby at 16! I spent enough of my teenage years looking after my four siblings! But, somehow, somewhere, the condom had split and the test came back positive.
My partner supported me. Luckily, my mum did too. She had me at 17, so I could understand why she wasn't biting my head off. My dad, however, he didn't speak to me for 2 months. That broke my heart. But in time, he started to get excited. When DD1 was 9 months old, I moved into my own flat. My partner was working full time, and just through ease, stayed living with his nan. That was no problem to me. 17 with my own place. I was happy.
A few weeks after my 18th birthday, I had a bill come through for water, and couldn't afford to pay it. Silly me didn't think to phone the company and explain, so I took out a credit card. £1000 credit limit? Yes please! Paid the bill, bought a new phone, new pushchair and other baby bits and bobs. See, up until then, everything I bought for DD1 was from carboot sales. Even though the stuff I had was amazing, expecially at 10p a piece, I felt gutted. Just because it felt as though I couldn't provide properly for her. My partner provider support, it was just with all the house bills and everything else, I wanted to buy her something new and nice. So, therefore, I used the credit card.
By the time I was 20, I had DD2 and debts of £2500. Now, I know that doesn't seem like much compared to lots of others. But to me it was. I couldn't afford to pay them back. Silly girl
By the time I reached 23, I realised I wanted rid of these debts, so contacted every company I owed and offered to pay back an amount I could afford. They were all really good and I managed to pay it all off a month before my 24th birthday. Now between my 24th and 26th birthday, I had a loan from provident. Only because it offered shopping vouchers, and I had it the week before christmas 2008. I missed a few payments, but managed to pay it off completely by January 2010. My credit status is still damaged from it though.
It also doesn't help that I have been a victim of indentity fraud, and three "payday" loans were taken out in my name. I have been arguing one with the company "One month Loan" and they basically do not believe me. I have given them the crime reference number, a copy of my statement to the police, copies of bank statements, a copy of a letter from the bank, all with no avail. That loan in particular was £200. The other two were for £300 and £250, and those companies were brilliant.
After a very rubbish year 2010, like many others, I have decided to be better. I started listing things on ebay again, but one person filed a complaint against me and now I'm seriously considering not to bother. I had over 600 positive feedback - 100%. She won nappies (40 nappies at 99p) and I had to post them to Australia. So, she took four days to pay (I don't mind a delay on payment as long as they message me and let me know), which was 21st December, and then when I took the parcel to be posted, was told it would cost me £16 to post due to Australian customs. I only charged her £7 postage :eek: so she paid £7.99 in total for 40 nappies. I paid £16 for postage. It doesn't take a brain cell to see that I lost out. But I wanted the space, and I wasn't going to use them (they were those horrible huggies ones that have the velcro on the sides instead of on straps). I had an email at the beginning of January to ask where they were. I explained very nicely that we had very heavy snow fall during christmas week, and that there was a very long delay on the post. (According to the Royal Mail website, it can take 56 days to receive post from the UK at the best of times) So I asked her to wait just two more weeks (which would have made it approx 30 days since I posted them). But then a week later I received negative feedback. I emailed asking her why she left it and didn't contact me again or put a dispute in paypal. No reply. Now, if I buy something, and it doesn't arrive, I contact the seller, then open a dispute in paypal. She didn't do that. I personally think she's trying to pull a fast one, but she didn't claim the £7.99 back, so I am totally stumped!
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, getting my life back in order.
So listing things on ebay, might do a carboot sale as soon as the weather warms up. I don't do cold! The kids have got sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many books, but they just don't seem to sell on ebay. Possibly because of the weight and postage. I just wish someone would give me £50 for the lot and I'd be happy! I wouldn't mind giving them away, but I spent so much on them and would rather earn some money to put towards a holiday for the kids.
Don't get me wrong, I do give to charity. I always put odd change in collection boxes, give at least one bag of clothes to the collection people a month, etc.
The thing is, see, I never had holidays as a kid. Well I did, I suppose, we went camping. And boy did I love it! But even that nowadays is so expensive! I just want to be able to go away for a couple of days, not abroad, just somewhere that isn't home! My kids are so good, and are so understanding that we can't buy certain things, or do certain things. My DD1 had to give up violin lessons as I couldn't afford the £30 monthly tuition fee. I feel guilty for things like that. So would like to reward them.
So now, in 2011, I pledge;
1. To sort, tidy and keep tidy my house.
2. To save as much as I possibly can.
3. To try and eat healthier than I have in the past.
4. To get the kids to exercise more.
5. To put stuff on ebay every week.
6. To keep on top of the washing and ironing.
Please don't get me wrong. I am not lazy. In fact, I choose to send my children to a school 5 miles away than one just across the road. I spend £35.75 weekly on bus fares, and still have to walk for approx 2 miles. But I am not complaining. What I am complaining about, though, is how untidy my house is. 3 children plus one partner (who is definitely the biggest child) = too much stuff. Plus, I now buy pretty much everything at a carboot, or at our local auction (which is know as junk auction). You can get some pretty good bargains there mind. The pushchair I bought for DS was £350 in mothercare, I thought I had a great bargain when I picked it up brand new (ex display model) at the carboot for £25. At the auctions it went for £4. I picked up a lovely nest of tables (£49.99 RRP argos) paid £2. So you can see where I'm going.
The girls have got soooo much toys / books / clothes, their bedroom is full. I am hoping to build a wardrobe that fits on one side of their room so I can get rid of the 5 chests of drawers that they currently have (Ok, I won't but my grandad will!) Hopefully, that then should be enough storage space to put their clothes and books away. My bedroom is full of clean clothes that I have nowhere to put! The smallest bedroom, which will be DS's, is full of junk. On a plus note, the two small sofas in the small bedroom will be going straight on freecycle when I can get to them.
I have bags of washing (only needing refreshing) that seem to build up every winter, when the only way of drying clothes is in the tumble drier (which I hate using!) It needs to be sorted! I need to sort it!
I have just started two Open University courses too :eek: trying to complete a maths degree so I can finally go on to teacher training!
Enough with the history, and I apologise if you got lost..... I did too and I am no good at writing a good structured piece. Ask my English teacher :rotfl:
So, everyday I will try my hardest to get on here and type what I have been doing. I don't ask for anything, just your support where and if I need it. I don't get much from my family, as it's always "That'll never happen" - which it doesn't because I need that kick up the backside!
So, here goes...............................
I also enjoy reading peoples debt diaries, and love seeing just how much support is out there. So I thought I would start one. Only, I don't really have any debts. I have no credit cards, no overdraft, no loans, nothing. Although, the reason I have none of them is that my credit status is that demolished, it may as well crumble away.......
Thanks to me thinking; "Great, I'm 18, can have 3 credit cards, run up my overdrafts etc etc" Boy, was I wrong!! I learnt the hard way, and have now, finally, repaid all owed. Well, apart from one, an overdraft with Barclays, but my case is going through for claiming the bank charges (For example, in one week I was charged £90 for an unpaid direct debit of just £2). The overdraft isn't huge (£160ish) but I am refusing to pay until the case has been sorted. If it's not in my favour, I'll just pay it off.
So, whereas many peoples problems with the diaries are they are in debt, mine is because I have a very messy life. Let me explain a bit more about me first.
I'm 26, 27 in 3 weeks time. I have three children, DD1 aged 10, DD2 aged 7 and DS aged 2 (in 3 weeks). I have been with my partner for 13 years this March. We have had our ups and downs, as many other families, but our children are very loving, well spoken and well mannered (I am told daily). I treat them as human beings and, although I do shout alot, they know I do it because I love them.
We live in a 3bed house rented from our council, with quite a nice sized back garden which is pretty flat. And out there lives our dog, a springer spaniel named Snoopy. He will be 4 in September (or 28 in dog years as DD2 reminded me this morning).
I was 16 when I fell pregnant with DD1. The doctor told me first that it either Gastroenteritis or stress, due to me doing my GCSEs at the time. Obviously, when my belly started growing and I was still throwing up 6 months later, I visited the doctor again. Asking me if there was any chance I could be pregnant, I laughed. We were always careful. I wanted to study to be a maths teacher, always had done. I didn't want a baby at 16! I spent enough of my teenage years looking after my four siblings! But, somehow, somewhere, the condom had split and the test came back positive.
My partner supported me. Luckily, my mum did too. She had me at 17, so I could understand why she wasn't biting my head off. My dad, however, he didn't speak to me for 2 months. That broke my heart. But in time, he started to get excited. When DD1 was 9 months old, I moved into my own flat. My partner was working full time, and just through ease, stayed living with his nan. That was no problem to me. 17 with my own place. I was happy.
A few weeks after my 18th birthday, I had a bill come through for water, and couldn't afford to pay it. Silly me didn't think to phone the company and explain, so I took out a credit card. £1000 credit limit? Yes please! Paid the bill, bought a new phone, new pushchair and other baby bits and bobs. See, up until then, everything I bought for DD1 was from carboot sales. Even though the stuff I had was amazing, expecially at 10p a piece, I felt gutted. Just because it felt as though I couldn't provide properly for her. My partner provider support, it was just with all the house bills and everything else, I wanted to buy her something new and nice. So, therefore, I used the credit card.
By the time I was 20, I had DD2 and debts of £2500. Now, I know that doesn't seem like much compared to lots of others. But to me it was. I couldn't afford to pay them back. Silly girl
By the time I reached 23, I realised I wanted rid of these debts, so contacted every company I owed and offered to pay back an amount I could afford. They were all really good and I managed to pay it all off a month before my 24th birthday. Now between my 24th and 26th birthday, I had a loan from provident. Only because it offered shopping vouchers, and I had it the week before christmas 2008. I missed a few payments, but managed to pay it off completely by January 2010. My credit status is still damaged from it though.
It also doesn't help that I have been a victim of indentity fraud, and three "payday" loans were taken out in my name. I have been arguing one with the company "One month Loan" and they basically do not believe me. I have given them the crime reference number, a copy of my statement to the police, copies of bank statements, a copy of a letter from the bank, all with no avail. That loan in particular was £200. The other two were for £300 and £250, and those companies were brilliant.
After a very rubbish year 2010, like many others, I have decided to be better. I started listing things on ebay again, but one person filed a complaint against me and now I'm seriously considering not to bother. I had over 600 positive feedback - 100%. She won nappies (40 nappies at 99p) and I had to post them to Australia. So, she took four days to pay (I don't mind a delay on payment as long as they message me and let me know), which was 21st December, and then when I took the parcel to be posted, was told it would cost me £16 to post due to Australian customs. I only charged her £7 postage :eek: so she paid £7.99 in total for 40 nappies. I paid £16 for postage. It doesn't take a brain cell to see that I lost out. But I wanted the space, and I wasn't going to use them (they were those horrible huggies ones that have the velcro on the sides instead of on straps). I had an email at the beginning of January to ask where they were. I explained very nicely that we had very heavy snow fall during christmas week, and that there was a very long delay on the post. (According to the Royal Mail website, it can take 56 days to receive post from the UK at the best of times) So I asked her to wait just two more weeks (which would have made it approx 30 days since I posted them). But then a week later I received negative feedback. I emailed asking her why she left it and didn't contact me again or put a dispute in paypal. No reply. Now, if I buy something, and it doesn't arrive, I contact the seller, then open a dispute in paypal. She didn't do that. I personally think she's trying to pull a fast one, but she didn't claim the £7.99 back, so I am totally stumped!
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, getting my life back in order.
So listing things on ebay, might do a carboot sale as soon as the weather warms up. I don't do cold! The kids have got sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many books, but they just don't seem to sell on ebay. Possibly because of the weight and postage. I just wish someone would give me £50 for the lot and I'd be happy! I wouldn't mind giving them away, but I spent so much on them and would rather earn some money to put towards a holiday for the kids.
Don't get me wrong, I do give to charity. I always put odd change in collection boxes, give at least one bag of clothes to the collection people a month, etc.
The thing is, see, I never had holidays as a kid. Well I did, I suppose, we went camping. And boy did I love it! But even that nowadays is so expensive! I just want to be able to go away for a couple of days, not abroad, just somewhere that isn't home! My kids are so good, and are so understanding that we can't buy certain things, or do certain things. My DD1 had to give up violin lessons as I couldn't afford the £30 monthly tuition fee. I feel guilty for things like that. So would like to reward them.
So now, in 2011, I pledge;
1. To sort, tidy and keep tidy my house.
2. To save as much as I possibly can.
3. To try and eat healthier than I have in the past.
4. To get the kids to exercise more.
5. To put stuff on ebay every week.
6. To keep on top of the washing and ironing.
Please don't get me wrong. I am not lazy. In fact, I choose to send my children to a school 5 miles away than one just across the road. I spend £35.75 weekly on bus fares, and still have to walk for approx 2 miles. But I am not complaining. What I am complaining about, though, is how untidy my house is. 3 children plus one partner (who is definitely the biggest child) = too much stuff. Plus, I now buy pretty much everything at a carboot, or at our local auction (which is know as junk auction). You can get some pretty good bargains there mind. The pushchair I bought for DS was £350 in mothercare, I thought I had a great bargain when I picked it up brand new (ex display model) at the carboot for £25. At the auctions it went for £4. I picked up a lovely nest of tables (£49.99 RRP argos) paid £2. So you can see where I'm going.
The girls have got soooo much toys / books / clothes, their bedroom is full. I am hoping to build a wardrobe that fits on one side of their room so I can get rid of the 5 chests of drawers that they currently have (Ok, I won't but my grandad will!) Hopefully, that then should be enough storage space to put their clothes and books away. My bedroom is full of clean clothes that I have nowhere to put! The smallest bedroom, which will be DS's, is full of junk. On a plus note, the two small sofas in the small bedroom will be going straight on freecycle when I can get to them.
I have bags of washing (only needing refreshing) that seem to build up every winter, when the only way of drying clothes is in the tumble drier (which I hate using!) It needs to be sorted! I need to sort it!
I have just started two Open University courses too :eek: trying to complete a maths degree so I can finally go on to teacher training!
Enough with the history, and I apologise if you got lost..... I did too and I am no good at writing a good structured piece. Ask my English teacher :rotfl:
So, everyday I will try my hardest to get on here and type what I have been doing. I don't ask for anything, just your support where and if I need it. I don't get much from my family, as it's always "That'll never happen" - which it doesn't because I need that kick up the backside!
So, here goes...............................
Thanks to all posters :A
0
Comments
-
Wow! I didn't realise that post was so long! Sorry!!
Today:- Pick up DD1&2 from school at 4pm as they have cheerleading
- Cook noodles and chicken for dinner
- Possibly take them to see their nan (depends on time dinner is finished)
- Bath and bed before 7.30pm
- Do my daily workout on EA Active 2 for Kinect on the xbox 360
- Have a shower / bath
- Do at least half hour of ironing
- Study chapter A0 in preparation for my one maths course starting on Saturday and make notes about where I need help for my tutor
Thanks to all posters :A0 -
Ok, so I didn't do very well yesterday. I did say I needed support!!
- [STRIKE] Pick up DD1&2 from school at 4pm as they have cheerleading[/STRIKE] - easy
- [STRIKE] Cook noodles and chicken for dinner [/STRIKE] - went over their nans and she cooked for us
- [STRIKE] Possibly take them to see their nan (depends on time dinner is finished)[/STRIKE] - well, that was done
- [STRIKE]Bath and bed before 7.30pm[/STRIKE]
- Do my daily workout on EA Active 2 for Kinect on the xbox 360 -whoops, forgot!
- [STRIKE] Have a shower / bath [/STRIKE] easy one
- Do at least half hour of ironing - whoops, again forgot :mad:
- Study chapter A0 in preparation for my one maths course starting on Saturday and make notes about where I need help for my tutor - Didn't have chance
I was that busy, I didn't even have time to get on here to do that before now
So, fresh start lol
Tomorrow, I shall;- Post Sun holiday form
- Spend an hour ironing
- Get something (anything!) listed on ebay
- Post one ebay parcel
- Cook my "first" diet meal consisting of either cottage pie or spaghetti bolognese. Will decide in the morning
- Declutter my computer desk
- Spend a few hours watching a film we've hired with the kiddies after dinner
- Come on here to list Saturday's job :rotfl:
Thanks to all posters :A0 - [STRIKE] Pick up DD1&2 from school at 4pm as they have cheerleading[/STRIKE] - easy
-
Well, it may be late, but I made it!
- [STRIKE]Post Sun holiday form[/STRIKE] woohoo!
- [STRIKE]Spend an hour ironing[/STRIKE] woohoo!
- Get something (anything!) listed on ebay oops!
- [STRIKE] Post one ebay parcel [/STRIKE] woohoo!
- [STRIKE] Cook my "first" diet meal consisting of either cottage pie or spaghetti bolognese.[/STRIKE] Actually decided on Chicken Tikka Masala. All healthy, took it off the slimming world website, and the kids enjoyed it! Bonus! :cool:
- Declutter my computer desk Will do it.... eventually
- Spend a few hours watching a film we've hired with the kiddies after dinner DD2 fell asleep so not my fault
- [STRIKE] Come on here to list Saturday's job [/STRIKE]
- Get up and get to Cardiff for 10am for my first tutorial
- Do any homework set
- Some more ironing
- Clean kitchen a bit more
- Catchup on at least one workout session on EA Active 2
Thanks to all posters :A0 -
Hello Jailbaby,
I am lurking and cheering you on, but I always seem to catch your thread when it's late and I'm too tired to chat.
Just wanted to let you know that you're not talking to yourself, lol.:heartsmil When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.0 -
Hey Jailbaby xx
You've done brilliantly and well done on starting your OU course. I would love to find the money/time to do a History degree at my local college as the subjects they cover are my bag.... Maybe one day!
Know what you mean about the ebay thing I love seeing the sales but its the photographing/listing/weighing thing..... *rollseyes I spend far too much time on here
*subscribesMFW 2011 No. 161 £946.54/£2000 TargetApril 9/15
March 14/15 Feb NSD 15/14
April GC £121.00/£130 March GC £127.60/£150
I Love my Furbabies :smileyhea0 -
Thanks both. Haven't set anything since my last post as my DS is unwell, so most of my time is spent sorting him out at the moment. He seems to be getting better though, so will see what he's like tomorrow and try to get back on here
I need some motivation!!! Thanks to all posters :A0 -
Well, DS is a bit better today.
Managed to:- Post two ebay parcels
- Do the washing up and clean the oven :eek:
- Did half an hour on Zumba game for xbox, before almost dying! (I'm ok)
- Ironed for half an hour
- Had a quick clean of the living room
- Relisted 50 items on ebay with lower postage in hope that they go
- Cook a nice healthy breakfast (yes, they do exist!)
- Do any washing up
- Do any ironing / washing of clothes
- If weather is nice, use washing line instead of tumble drier
- MUST spend an hour at least on my course. In my defense, it is a lot harder than I thought
- Find something else to go on ebay
Thanks to all posters :A0 -
Have you tried the flylady thread? it's pretty good for household stuff.
I was doing it until I was PG with my youngest and got ill. Must start again my house is a hell hole. I'm sure I've got a kitchen under all that washing up :think:
Well done to you though for sorting your debts.
My kids go to an out of catchment school as well and the bus fares are stupid aren't they!
I had my older 3 at 17 and 19 (twins that time!) so I know how you felt carbooting etc. But it's all very MSE :money:Mum of several with a twisted sense of humour and a laundry obsession:o
0 -
Hey Jailbaby - well done on your achievements yesterday :j
I'm slacking in the ebay dept.... Have 5 items on there atm but only one sale of all of 99p :cool: Got 4 more to put on, but need a clean etc before I do...
Try the flylady thing - I find some of the information a little overwhelming but look at the website and see if that gives you any inspiration... I find doing little and often much easier.MFW 2011 No. 161 £946.54/£2000 TargetApril 9/15 March 14/15 Feb NSD 15/14
April GC £121.00/£130 March GC £127.60/£150
I Love my Furbabies :smileyhea0 -
Have you tried the flylady thread? it's pretty good for household stuff.
I was doing it until I was PG with my youngest and got ill. Must start again my house is a hell hole. I'm sure I've got a kitchen under all that washing up :think:
Well done to you though for sorting your debts.
My kids go to an out of catchment school as well and the bus fares are stupid aren't they!
I had my older 3 at 17 and 19 (twins that time!) so I know how you felt carbooting etc. But it's all very MSE :money:
The bus fares are ridiculous. And I get no help because they live in catchment of a school under 2 miles away. I doesn't matter that I don't like that school.
I LOVE carbooting. Maybe a bit too much
I've had a quick nose at the Flylady thread. There's so many posts on there it scares me! :eek:Thanks to all posters :A0
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