Funny things financial advisers have said to me

Imnoexpert_2

I have been thinking about all the advice I've been given over the years and how in hindsight it now appears Perhaps people would like to contribute things financial advisers have said to them. This is meant to humerous not bitter:rotfl:

To kick off:

"With an endowment mortagage you will be able to pay off the mortgage at the end of the term and have a large lump sum too" (Nationwide adviser)

"One of the best ways of selecting a with-profits policy is to look for consistency of results. Equitable Life is the oldest mutual and always tops the tables" (Equitable Life/press)

"As long as you can invest for 5 years stocks and shares are always the best place for your money" (IFA)

"This won't cost you anything because you don't pay me for my advice" (IFA)


House prices won't go down (me!)

I put the last one in just in case anyone is ever tempted to take advice from me.

By the way the Nationwide adviser who explained endowment mortgages to me was so amazed when I wanted a repayment mortgage that she said that I clearly hadn't understood what she had said and she would try and make it simpler so I would understand it properly! At that time I was a newly qualified economics graduate and that hurt my pride.

Onawingandaprayer

Let me add...

When I asked an IFA how sound AIG were, when he was recommending their Living Plan short term annuity, he said "They're the world's largest insurance provider. If they go down, so will the whole of Western civilization." Oh, how we laughed...

Yes, i know they didn't, but only by a gnat's whisker - and thanks to a bail-out.

purch

"With an endowment mortagage you will be able to pay off the mortgage at the end of the term and have a large lump sum too"

I can remember the Financial salesman who set up my Endowment back in 1986, (sum assured £80K) telling me that although the lump sum shown on the papework said £23K it would be at least double that :rotfl:

If I knew the name of the person who bought the thing off me 15 years ago I'd ring him to ask how much he's expecting in a couple of months :eek:

jimjames

One that has stuck in my mind ever since.


"You don't want that final salary scheme. Get a personal pension instead as it will perform far better."

Fortunately my father advised me against it and for once I did actually listen to his advice!

JanCee

When we took out an endownment mortgage in the 1980s I asked the question,

"What will happen if the policy doesn't grow enough to pay the mortgage off?"

There were three advisors and they all burst out laughing and said, "don't worry about it, that's never ever going to happen".

Loughton_Monkey

You should see it from the 'Internal' angle of an Insurance Company with a Sales Force who have visited a customer, and helped them fill in a Life Assurance proposal form.

- "Have you been to the doctor in the last 5 years?" - 'Trivial complaints only' [Turns out to be heart by-pass operation]
- [To Salesman] 'We sent your client for a medical. The proposal form says he is 12 stone 14, but the medical puts him at 19 stone 3 pounds. Didn't you notice this?] - 'Yes, but he assured me he was on a diet and that he would be down to 12 stone before the policy was issued.'

And how's this for 'brains'? Would you submit a Life Assurance proposal - to the company you work for - for your sister who is in a Cancer Hospice with 6 months to live - with a totally 'clean' set of answers to all the medical questions? Well I can assure you this happened, and more surprisingly, I can assure you that the Sales person was not fired, because she was 'a good salesman'.

DavidLaGuardia

feesarefare wrote: »

Heres a funny I hear all the time

"Ive moved my business to fees, I take 3% fee of the amount invested and 0.5% trail fee annually"

Don't really have a problem with that one as its quite explicit and transparent and cuts out the question of different commissions on different investments. You can take or leave the proposition.

I only have a problem if they don't tell you what you get for 0.5% or continue to take the money when they are not giving you any service

Loughton_Monkey

feesarefare wrote: »

Here's another funny -

"We give independent advice"- St James Place rep

in·de·pend·ent
  /ˌɪn dɪˈpɛn dənt/ Show Spelled/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#333333][FONT=Verdana]in-di-[B]pen[/B]-d[/FONT][/COLOR][I][COLOR=#333333][FONT=Georgia]uh[/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=#333333][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#333333][FONT=Verdana]nt[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#333333][FONT=Verdana Show IPA
21.
( initial capital letter ) Ecclesiastical . an adherent of Independency.
22.
British . a Congregationalist.
—Idiom
23.
independent of, irrespective of; regardless of: Independent of monetary considerations, it was a promising position.

What's wrong with trying to sell you a bit of religion?

Cautious_Investor_3

feesarefare wrote: »

"We give independent advice"- St James Place rep

When asked if he was independent I once heard a St James Place rep say "we have independent fund managers.....it's the same thing"

purch

The point I was making, which I find very amusing

Well, someone has to :eek:

Imnoexpert_2

Another one (which may yet prove to be true).

If you stick to blue chip FTSE 100 shares you should be OK.

I have Lloyds and BP shares and they don't look to good at the moment.