teeth brushing and defiant child

jamgirl

my daughter is 11 and is petrified of the dentist, wobbly teeth and absolutely won't brush her teeth without tears no matter how i handle it.
i've tried being sympathetic, bribery, shouting ....... you name it i've tried it but nothing will make her brush her teeth properly.

i'm starting to worry because her adult teeth are coming through and if shes not careful she will lose them.

any ideas to help her (and me) ?

Bambam

Why are her adult teeth only just coming through aged 11? Has she had any bad experiences which have made her afraid of the dentist?

Smiley_Mum

Show her this and then ask her why she is so afraid of dentist etc. Why she doesn't like brushing her teeth. A person's smile is usually one of their best features and she is in serious danger of losing hers. Don't shout at her, just ask her what her fears are about teeth brushing, dentists etc.

Here is a link that might shock her into cleaning her teeth properly...

http://images.google.com/images?svnum=10&hl=en&lr=&q=severe+tooth+decay

loveandlight

Jamgirl, I am sooo glad you posted this problem because I have exactly the same problem with my son. He has never wanted to brush his teeth. He'll be 10 next month. I've tried what seems like everything. Even his dentist has tried and last time he went his dentist told him off but he still won't brush his teeth without it turning into a big drama in the house. Even his dentist is shocked at the lengths we have to go to. It is all very stressful. Shock tactics don't work. He says he finds brushing his teeth too boring. He already has 4 teeth with cavities.:mad:

He won't read books or write either. Yet he is brilliant at both. I asked him why and again he says reading and writing are too boring.

Bambam

Have you told him that his friends may start to desert him once halitosis takes a hold? Don't really know what else to suggest.

borntoshop

I have twins, one with perfect teeth, kicks off about brushing them, one problem teeth and brushes really well.
They have had the same diet, dentist said it knocks the theory of bad foods causing decay and as they were both in the womb together also puts paid to the mother having a bad diet in pregnancy theory. (Dentists words not mine)

The cavities not necessarily bad or no brushing can be hereditary.
I just dont make it an issue in the bathroom, try to keep my patience and be firm with the reluctant one.
I dont let him go out to play until teeth are brushed, whatever your daughter enjoys or does, withold until the dreaded teeth are done. I stopped making it a morning or very last thing at night chore as its stressful all round.
I started the brushing teeth police duties after school before he went to play watch TV etc. Once the battle has been won, it was then a case of moving it to bedtime and morning.

ailuro2

earn time at a favourite place for every minute she/they spend brushing teeth?

Use an egg timer to count it up.

loveandlight

Don't mean to hijack your thread jamgirl, just wanted to say I've tried all the above suggestions but it still doesn't work for us. My son will just not brush willingly. He has always been like this. He would rather go without stuff, playing, treats etc. I'm hoping he will improve as he gets older when he starts to take an interest in girls ( assuming he's still got some teeth left by then!). My 18 yr old niece was exactly the same when she was younger.

tee_pee_2

what about the toothpast for kids - will the strawberry tasting one not lure them?

fsdss

speak to your childs school and then to your local nhs dental health promotion dept about your concerns i'm sure that they can supply the necessary resource pack which will shock any child into good oral hygiene. i did it earlier on in the year for uni at a local school. i'm sure the school will get involved too if you can obtain a resource pack. failing that if you cant get one pm me and i will get one for you (i believe its changed recently and all resources are available via email).

CFC

Speaking as one of the world's biggest cowards when it comes to dentristry, and also as one who wouldn't brush her teeth when young, I feel I am well qualified to give you a 'sufferer's eye view' so to speak.


Personally, I wouldn't go for the shock tactic. I can't imagine for one moment that would work with the 'phobic' child,although it may work perhaps for one who says it's boring (rather like kids who avoid washing?). Anything that increases the anxiety level around the whole area is very likely to be counterproductive.

Advice - firstly, for anyone with teeny tinies who doesn't have this problem, try to avoid getting it. Take kids to the dentist from the time they are knee high to a grasshopper just to get them used to the idea. Do NOT let them watch any treatments being given to anyone. That's very frightening to watch and if the person/kid being treated is afraid, that will start to build a negative idea in the small one's mind. Brush their teeth for them till they are old enough to 'have a go' themselves and let them watch YOU doing it, preferably in an amusing and fun way - this will set the idea that Mummy and all grown ups brush their teeth, thus making them want to 'be grown up' themselves.

Creating a situation in which an anxious older child feels no pressure to brush their teeth but sees adults brushing theirs happily and with a smile may still help to reduce anxieties which have built up around teeth. Go together and let the child choose their own new toothbrush. Ask if they'd like a battery operated one (that may be a bridge too far, or it may appeal to the gadget minded child, you'll find out if you ask..nicely!). Reduce anxiety around the purchase by being low key and saying we're just going to choose one, not making you use it, bribe at this point if necessary but make sure the child is really involved in the selection.

Children with sensitive tongues may find the peppermint in many toothpastes far too strong and so it is actually very unpleasant or hurts. Try looking around, the one another poster mentioned (strawberry) if you can find it, may appeal. Otherwise look for the mildest mint flavour you can find. Try to guide the child towards a toothbrush with a very small head (electric toothbrush also as some of them have very small round heads) as a child with a well developed gag reflex and a fear of brushing may find the gag reflex caused by brushing to be extremly uncomfortable and quite repulsive. If you do not suffer from either of these things you will not be able to understand the problem, however it is a big thing to an individual who does.

These things are too complex for a child to explain or understand and so the answer you are likely to get if it's any of these things is just 'I don't like it'.

If all else fails, try to get the child to 'brush their teeth' using just their finger dipped in some salt, this will do the business but is much less productive of anxiety, but it depends on the child and salt (mustn't be swallowed of course and don't do this with really young children). This may help to reduce the anxiety, when the child is used to this you may be able to reintroduce the concept of brushing with a brush and toothpaste.

The child who finds it 'boring' - I think it's either like boys and washing (Just don't want to do it!) or it's a quite deep thing that he feels unable to explain. I don't know if any of these ideas would help in that situation.

I hope you found this helpful,if you have any questions related to anything I've said or want to use me as a soundingboard for ideas please feel free. I'd really like to help any parent to help their child past this fear if I can.