Help Needed, confused

kaze_2

Hi, i hope somebody can help me out as what i have been told doesn't make much sense and doesn't really give me much incentive to find work.

Basically i lost my job in june 2009, i had worked for the last 20 years, i signed on for jsa while sending out my cv to over 20 agencies and applied for every job going, managed to get job doing nights in local tesco's not brilliant money but better than being on benefits but before i could start, in august 2009 my husband left me after 6 months of marriage, basically the small amount of savings i had, had run out and he wanted his money to himself, we (2yr old daughter and myself) were left with 10 pound and all the bills to pay (everything in my name as had house before met him) i contacted the relevant people, council tax, child tax credits, mortgage company etc etc, was told by job centre to go onto income support as wasn't expected to work etc. So i sold my car to help cover mortgage payments until got help from government and am managing to get by.

Now this is where i need the help, i want to work, but unless i earn a certain amount of money, it is not worth me coming off benefits because i will lose my house and wages where i live are a lot less than what i used to earn before i had my daughter, to get the same money i would have to travel into london taking 2hrs each way and i can't get childcare to cover the hours i would have to do and i have no family/ friends who are local to help out, so i asked my lone parent advisor what would happen if i sold my house and used any profit i got to private rent in the hope that i would find work before the money ran out, she said that would be ok but if i didn't find work and ran out of money i wouldn't get any help towards the rent, because i am technically making myself and my daughter homeless by selling my house and that i should just stay where i am and enjoy the time i have at home with my daughter, now don't get me wrong, i love my daughter but i have worked since i was 16, this last year not being at work has been ok but i need to start to get out and meet people who talk about things other than iggle piggle but i can't see how i can get back into work, i think i am a bit scared about taking the leap of selling the house and renting and not getting a job and then basically finding ourselves homeless because rents round where i live are more than what i would get on benefits.
But what can i do, if it was just me i wouldn't worry but with a 2yr old i have to think of her first, I feel like i'm stuck in a hopeless situation but all i'm told is stay where you are and don't work, surely this isn't right.

dmg24

You will be entitled to LHA once your capital is below the limits, but you will not be a priority for help with social housing because you have made yourself homeless. I'm guessing that is what she meant?

As you have no friends and family locally, then if you do want to sell up could I suggest moving to a more affordable area?

kaze_2

Thanks for that, didn't know about the LHA, was just told would get nothing.

Would love to move to a cheaper area but have a slight problem, my soon to be ex husband wouldn't like us to move away as it would mean he would actually have to make the effort to see his daughter, at the moment he struggles to make a five minute drive across town to see her once a month for 3 hours, and when i said i might move to france where my parents live but bring her back every month he caused me so much grief that i've had to put that idea on hold until he basically looses interest in seeing her, which he is slowly starting to do now football season has started again.

AnxiousMum

You will also be entitled to child support from the father of your daughter - I believe it is 15% of his wage for one child.

dazzadub

if he has no intrest in child just up sticks and move, there is no legal right for him to dictate where u live. if you want to move then move and if he keeps bugging you go get a injunction out

Oldernotwiser

If you move to France, what will you live on when the money from the sale of your house runs out? How will you afford to pay for the private healthcare that you'll need?

Kimitatsu

There are two issues here:

Firstly if you move to France you will have to get permission from your husband, your daughters residency is the UK and by taking her away without his permission you are actually kidnapping her in legal terms. In France he has a lot more clout over his daughters lifestyle than he does here, the laws are different and IMO you would be better to stay where you are.

As for the house, your benefits adviser is quite right, if you sell your property and then cannot afford the rent, you will have to show that you have not deprived yourself intentionally of the assets that you had nor spent the capital on things which you did not need. The position you find yourself in unfortunately epitomises the benefits trap.

Instead of selling your home why not look at retraining? Many colleges do part time courses that would be free to you on benefits and you would get some stimulation (which it sounds like you are lacking) as well as being at home with your daughter. Soon she will be eligible for some free child care so you would be able to devote more time to that as well. I appreciate it is frustrating for you, but its not forever and by selling your home you could be worse off in the future.

As has been said you are entitled to 15% of your husbands net wages after tax and NI for the upleep of your child this is not included in any benefits calculation.

FBaby

I confirm that packing everythink and moving to France could mean trouble in terms of access. A judge could decide that you've 'abducted' your child if your ex wanted to fight it in court. If you are still keen on this idea, what you need to do is firstly make note of what arrangement you have agreed, the times he has her, and the times you offered for him to have her but he doesn't take that offer. Then start planning your move. A judge would see favourably to you moving if you can show that it would benefit your child to be next to her grand-parents, that you have a clear plan as to your life in France that would be better for your daughter than what is currently in England and that you have planned how you could insure she still sees her dad. That means showing how you could come off benefits in France, so would need to show that you have secured a job and housing and maybe that your parents could look after your child. In any case, children can start school at 2 in France, and even if still at nursery, the costs are about 1/4 to what it is in England. All this to say, you will need to build a very strong case to show that your daughter would have a better life in France.

As for the issue of housing, it infuriates me to read that a lone parent advisor would actually advise you to remain on IS. Here you are, prepared to go back to work to make a better life for yourself and your daughter which is commendable, and you are being told not to bother and enjoy being off work, incredible.... Are you sure though that you would be worse off working? I am a lone parent who worked full-time when my children were little and I was able to do so because of the WTC I received which paid almost all my childcare costs.

Kimitatsu

[QUOTE=FBaby;37856318
As for the issue of housing, it infuriates me to read that a lone parent advisor would actually advise you to remain on IS. Here you are, prepared to go back to work to make a better life for yourself and your daughter which is commendable, and you are being told not to bother and enjoy being off work, incredible.... Are you sure though that you would be worse off working? I am a lone parent who worked full-time when my children were little and I was able to do so because of the WTC I received which paid almost all my childcare costs.[/QUOTE]

I think the issue comes because the OP owns her own home and so would not be entitled to HB if she went back to work. Whereas currently she will the interest on the mortgage paid and so can remain in her own home, if she went back to work she would lose that and so would have to earn proportinally more to cover it which would in turn affect her benefit entitlement.

FBaby

but am I wrong to assume that the time will come when she won't be entitled to benefits any longer and will still have to go back to work and therefore lose her HB benefits. At the moment, the interest is paid, which is very helpful, but capital cost remain the same. Isn't it just delaying the whole thing?

kaze_2

Hi Everybody,

Thanks for all the replies, i do realise that moving to france could cause major problems altho i would go to court and get permission etc before i did it and it would be worst case scenario as the thought of moving back in with my parents after having my own home for 15years doesn't really appeal.
I did actually contact my mortgage company and asked them if worst case scenario i found a job that wasn't as much as i used to earn would they allow me to pay a lower amount than the repayment figure but more than the interest only figure that they get now for about 6 months to a year just so i could get back on my feet but was told that i would have to remortgage for a longer term but if the wages weren't high enough wouldn't be able to do it.
Its just so frustrating especially as where i live there are girls of 18 pregnant with their 2nd or 3rd child by different father saying the council have given me a 3/4 bedroom brand new house so i might as well fill it and i waited until i thought i was in a secure relationship, had a good job etc before i had a child and now because of an ex who bailed as soon as my money ran out and i have just found out may now try and take half the house i had before i met him just cos we were married for 6months and 2wks i'm going to loose everything and can't see anyway out, makes you wonder why you bother to make something of yourself.