I am not allowed to see my kids!!!!!

bighomer13

hi this is going to be a very long story and i will say sorry in advance.

i met my wife in 2000 and we just fell madly in love with each other. we got married in 2001 everything was perfect we had 4 wonderful kids. but this where it all started in april last year i dropped my wife off in town with our 4 kids cause she was meeting with her dad (we didnt get on.) i was expecting her back home because i was doing dinner but instead i had a knock on the door and it was the police.
they said to me that my wife has phoned them to say that i have tried to attepmt to rape her. i got arrested and questioned at length and they charged me with attemtped rape on the 4th april at 4:30am. i had to go in front of a judge the next morning. and they remanded me in prison for 2 weeks. (worst experiance ever) my solictiors got me bail and i had to be out of the area. so i was about 250 miles away. i had to come back in oct for a trial. and that only lasted 3 days and the jury only took 2 hours to find me not guilty!
the following day i had a visit from a court bailiff handing me a restraining order and loads of things i am not alloweed to do. but the one thing that really hurts me is that i am not allowed to have any contact with my 4 children. i have a 6 year old. 5 year old. 3 year old and a 2 year old. the havent had any contact with me for over 20 months and there is not a day goes by without me thinking about them all.
i am not a violent bloke. i have never hurt anyone in my life. i havent even had a fight with anyone. im to soft for all of that.
sorry for posting this guys. just wanted to try and talk about all the hurt that i have been going through.

go_cat

You say you were madly in love etc was there any signs of strain between you = alleging rape is a very serious thing .

Did she say something at the time of the alleged offence or was it completely out of the blue?

Sorry don't know anything about legalities of access but I
hope you can put all this behind you and move on with your life

kazwookie

Get proper legal advise.

freyanneke_2

bighomer13 wrote: »

everything was perfect

So what is the version of your ex?

Only you know the answer and it is the key to going on from there.

I am sorry you are in a lot of pain about your children. If you are half the man that you think you are (sorry,I don't know you), then I hope you will find a barrister that is at least as good as my ex has.

Is there a CAFCASS report? Or any other report of so called professionals?

knithappens

I dont know the in's and out of your case,

My friend went through something similar is ex alleged Domestic violence, rape etc, they had arguements , fights, but never physical, he battled through the courts for the past 11 years, it finally came to it that the judge, saw through what the ex was doing, in that she would try anything not to allow him access to control the situation, he has now just been seeing his son for the last 6 months supervised access, as his son did not know him , and his mum had told him unimaginable things, apparrently she had done this to her first boyfriend with their daughter, and told my firend when they got to gthee that he had done the things she then accused him of, a chance meeting between the two men and all this came to light, the first ex just could not cope and gave up trying to get contact. So i do know that this can happen and it is so sad that it does.

Keep applying through the courts, keep birthday presents cards etc, and hopefully one day you will be able to have access, I know that might not be what you want to hear, and it can be a long process, but if you are innocent than you have nothing to hide, just as you have posted here, i know some people look at it there is no smoke with out fire, and i know my friend went to hell and back. I really hope for you there is a quick resolution to this situation

bighomer13

there was nothing one day i left her in town the next was police at my door. we havent had any rows or fights. totally out of the blue.

but i must add i did find out about 2 months down the line that her dad was getting evicted from his home and had no where else to go. and she has been seeing a lot of blokes and taking them back to where she lives and that is where my kids are so they prob dont know whats happening. and my 2 oldest are having phychological therapy because im not in there lives and this is totally wrong for them to have that. my 2 year old dont even know that i am his dad........................ how sad is that for him. this is just been really hard on me as a devoted dad to be up lifted from my kids. sorry guys.

and thank you for all of your kind replies so far.

LittleTinker

bighomer13 wrote: »

there was nothing one day i left her in town the next was police at my door. we havent had any rows or fights. totally out of the blue.

but i must add i did find out about 2 months down the line that her dad was getting evicted from his home and had no where else to go. and she has been seeing a lot of blokes and taking them back to where she lives and that is where my kids are so they prob dont know whats happening. and my 2 oldest are having phychological therapy because im not in there lives and this is totally wrong for them to have that. my 2 year old dont even know that i am his dad........................ how sad is that for him. this is just been really hard on me as a devoted dad to be up lifted from my kids. sorry guys.

and thank you for all of your kind replies so far.

I really feel for you....its a terrible situation to be in.

You really need to get some proper legal advice on this....most of what you will find on here is speculation at best.

I do hope that you find a solution to your problem very soon.

swingaloo

Obviously we only know what you tell us and fro your side but assuming you have been the victim of a vindictive wife then I feel very sorry for you and your children.

A few questions though.

What do you think was behind your wifes accusation of attempted rape?. It dosnt strike me a thing someone would do on a whim and follow through with a court case. Why did she not just leave you if she was unhappy?

What signs were there that something was wrong prior to this happening? Unless you are very blinkered or shutting out the signs something should have rung alarm bells.

You say it is 20 months since you saw your children and you were proved innocent so what steps have you taken in those 20 months to see your children?

Have you seen a solicitor?

Do you have any contact at all with your wife?

Has she started divorce proceedings?

Do you pay maintenance for the children?

Sorry for all the questions but your posts leave a lot unanswered and its hard to give advice.

MrsE_2

bighomer13 wrote: »

there was nothing one day i left her in town the next was police at my door. we havent had any rows or fights. totally out of the blue..

You dropped her off in town to visit her dad & she didn't come home that night & the next day the police were at your door?

Weren't you surprised she didn't come home?
Or was she visiting her dad over night?

marleyboy

A similar thing happened to my brother, the only difference was it was his then GF's daughter she accused him of raping. He found himself going to a police station and getting arrested and put in a cell for a few hours.

The police did reassure him that she has a history of reporting false claims like this, but you could imagine what was running through his head whilst sat in the cell. The woman had also accused ME of burgling her house (albeit only to my brother), something I would not even consider, so I had already worked out this woman was completely nuts. Although my brother did have to confront me and ask if it was true, he already knew it was not.

As a result of her false accusation regarding rape, the police interviewed her daughter, she was only 9 yrs old, but she informed them such a thing had not happened.

Because it was not the first time this woman had put her own child through a false rape accusation, she lost her child, who was taken into care. It did serve her right, how could anyone put their own child through such an ordeal, knowing it was not true.

These are your kids, fight for them, get some legal advice and do whatever it takes for access to see them, if this rape allegation is false, its slanderous, use it against her.

Penny-Pincher!!

I dont understand how they were able to hold you for 2 weeks after your arrest unless there was some sort of evidence?

Did your wife have marks on her and photos taken?

It all doesnt make much sense. Why did you have to move 250 miles away? Was that a condition on your bail?

If what you are saying is true, then please stop wasting your time on MSE and get some proper legal advice. There are other legal forums that you can get sound advice from and not on a money saving website.

PP