Advice on estranged family death, wills, probate, standing order ect

cmc_entertainment

Hi all.

Its been a weird, frustrating and annoying few days tbh.

All over my OH granddad's unfortunate death.

From the start:

We [me, OH and kids] were due to move house the end of last year, and because of a difficult OH upbringing [alcoholic mother], we couldn't trust OH mother to look after them when we moved. This is when it kicked off again.

To cut a story short, OH mother had a hissy fit and said and done things that we didn't like and stopped her ONLY [get to this bit later] from seeing the kids.

We didn't stop OH grandparents from seeing us and the kids. But as OH mother is king of lies and twists the truth and a good actress, we were the baddies once again.

We again moved this year out of the town to a better living and away from any conflict that we would endure eg. 'make up with your mother' // 'we [oh grandparents] cant see the kids if you don't talk/make up with your mother' // [OH gndprnt] 'everything your mother has done is your fault' [despite being a so called Christian and a alcoholic lier] // and general ignorance.

No contact until this week.

Then my mother found an ad in her local newspaper [lives in the same town as OH relatives], stating my OH grandad had died AND the funeral had ALREADY taken place. He had been ill for a long time. But to find out that the funeral had already taken place without any knowledge is the most annoying bit, as we didnt even have the choice of even considering to go.

Then for a double annoyance, OH found out that her so called close cousin went to a funeral a few weeks ago and posted it on FB.

OH then got in contact with her nan and she confirmed that in-fact he had died and also added that we killed him and it was all our fault and her due granddaughter should hopefully die. She also stated that they planned for us to find out via the local paper. Seriously this is what she said.

Now we get to the complicated bit.

OH Granddad's will.

Basically we dont think that me +OH was in the will, but we cannot be sure. And also we cannot be sure if our kids are in it.

As obviously we cannot be sure of what is in the will, and that we wont be at any sort of will reading, what could we do?

We have had some advice stating that all we could do is to submit a standing search which is in place for 6 months.

Other questions:

If we or the kids are named in the will, what rights do we have over any influence of getting what OH granddad wanted and not to be skewed [believe me, if we/kids are named, they [OH mum and nan] would do all that is possible to stop it] in anyway?

We know that he had a will and solicitors involved in making the will, should we wait for them to find us [eg standing search]?

any other advice would be appreciated.

dzug1

Yes - put in the standing search.

If you know what firm of solicitors are involved, get in touch with them. They won't tell you anything, but you will have registered your existence. There's a possibility that they (your estranged family) may attempt to deny your existence if they are that twisted.

The worst case is if money has been left in trust with the family as trustees and they ignore their legal obligations. That could be a nightmare

ailuro2

Really, you need to move on from this....money isn't everything, and if there was a will in all likelihood everything has gone to his wife.;)

you're building your own lovely little family and don't really need the hurt caused by this nasty little bunch.

For someone to be so deliberately hurtful about their great grandchildren is also truly awful, even if she is upset there's not many excuses that would get round what she said.

Ignore their attempts to upset you, they're probably jealous that you manage to do so well for yourselves without their help. Carry on without them, if it were "friends" behaving like this you'd not carry on the friendship, would you?