Should we cancel and just have a small wedding now??

Emma1988

Starting to think the cost of inviting loads of guests who we hardly know for the sake of it is silly! The venue say we must have 60 and tbh im starting to think we should cancel and just go and get married now! Just out parents, bros and sis and a small group of friends, no aunts or uncles or cousins we never see! My mum and dad are paying for the venue, but thats not the point!
Hmmm... has anyone else ever felt like this?? x

Horace

I think it is fairly common and brides have a wibble about the size of their wedding.

You could cancel but bear in mind you are likely to lose the venue deposit that you have already paid out. Have you spoken to your parents as they are paying for the venue to see if they can afford to lose the deposit? Are you likely to change your mind after you have had a quick wedding and wish you had gone for something a bit bigger?

I think you need to sit down with your H2B and your parents (as they are paying for part of the wedding) to decide on your budget and the feasibility of cancelling everything for something a lot smaller. 60 people isnt a lot to cater for..when I first read your post I was thinking that you had invited 200 people but 60 is nothing.

Emma1988

I know its not big, but at each guest having a meal, drinks package and evening, its like 80 a go! My dad says he doesnt mind losing the 750 deposit. Think my OH thinks im going to change my mind though! Its just thinking about that we could use it towards a mortage instead!!! Think its just me having on of those Money Saving heads on!

Cara79

Ours has grown!! We're sticking to 100 for the day - there may be up to 5 over this, but that we can stomach. However, we were working on the basis of 130 for the evening... i.e. an extra 30 people. Well we have now invited and extra 100 people..we know they wont all come, but that makes 200 in total, which I think is a bloody massive wedding!!!!! our room only holds 200 people in total.

Not sure what to do about the venue....they still think it's circa 130 and the thing is it may well be 130 - 150....we really don't think all 100 extra people will turn up.

But I think it is natural to have wobbles....I certainly have and am having to reign in my hubby-to-be.....doesn't help that they sent us over the quantity ordered of evening invites!! ha ha

Kazz81

I tried to pare my guest list back and its still at 126, with about 60-80 definates. Unfortunately for me, most of these I genuinely want there!!

blondali

I had this exact same problem, I loved the big georgous venues but they all asked for minimum numbers. I didn't want to invite people just for the sake of it. I also wanted an intimate wedding that I could enjoy without feeling too nervous! We did not want a wedding where the venue dictated our day. So we have chosen a gorgeous luxury wedding venue, which we thought would be completely out of our price range and we have been so surprised by the overall cost which has been entirely within our budget. So our wedding will feel intimate, luxurious and wonderful, which is exactly what we wanted!

Emma1988

Thats for the feedback guys. I love my venue. Its stunning, next to a loch! And looks like a castle! My heads all over the place!

frannyann

I really thought our budget of £3500 was tiny but seeing it as cold hard cash in the bank has given me the same wobbles, but me and OH talk each other out of cancelling!! We are just going to have a blast and not think about the money now!

Emma1988

My OH says that if we cancel ill regret not having a big wedding in years to come! He prob knows me too well. Id just hate to have such a lovely wedding and then think, well that money could have gone to our future! maybe i should stop being so sensible haha?

blondali

Emma if you love your venue perhaps you could go back to them and say you would love to book (if you haven't already) but your maximum numbers will be 45 or 50 and that is as many as you are willing to invite to preserve your budget. I am sure they will have some room for negotiation!

Emma1988

We have already booked, and have to have 60! Thing is we can really have it for about 40, as that would mean inviting some from one side of the family and not others. So if we didnt have it there itd be just 20 guests at a registry office! I think i know deep down i love my venue, but ya know! :S