Im fuming!

asandwhen

Ok I am livid at the moment and dont know what to do for the best. :mad: :mad: :mad:

We have a family holiday booked and go in 2 weeks - Its for myself and my wife and her 2 children from a previous marriage - it will be her 2 childrens first foreign holiday and when we booked it they were both so excited about going on a plane ect - any way over the last year my wife's ex partner (who is VERY jelous) has been filling the youngest childs (9yrs) head with rubbish about the plane crashing and horrid story's about spain - now the youngest doesnt want to go who can blame him after his fathers campaign to ruin everything? - anyway we have tried everything to get the youngest to come but what can we do if he really doesnt want to? I really dont want him to miss out because this will be the last for a long time (baby on the way!)

please help....

dlb

Stay carm for starters. This is not a great situation to be in, but rise above it.
I would keep reasuring the child, and talk to them about what it is they have been told.
Get the internet on and show them loads of pics of where your going and also i showed mine the airport websites they had great fun looking what they could do and what shops were at the airport.
Just do your best to get him excited again, it hard when your faced with the ex hubby saying things like that, If it helps my kids have only flown once and they thought flying was one of the best bits of the hoilday, and we went to florida!
Good luck and dont worry im sure he will come round.

hjb123

Yeah I would do as the previous post suggests and am sure he will come round in the end! Maybe you could contact the airline and explain to them the situation - they might let him have a look behind the scenes to help his nerves

gingin_2

I would be perfectly honest with him and get some statistics from the net on aviation crashes (obviously omit the negative), explain to him that it is safer than travelling by car etc.etc. As for Spain, what horror stories can there be? Show him some pictures or buy him a guidebook so he can find his own things to look forwards to. Start a holiday spending/ice cream money fund for him i.e get him to do small jobs to earn money to take on holiday with him, again to get him excited.

I would also talk quite bluntly to the father and try to get him to explain his reasons, if none are forthcoming at least it might embarrass him into keeping quiet. What a meanie trying to upset youngsters holiday, I would be furious too.

Counting_Pennies_2

A 9 year old may not equate percentages, so try to get a rough estimate of how many planes fly each week, and say each week a plane does not drop out of the sky. Then go on to say that there haven't been any plane crashes this year (unless you know otherwise) and then try to find details of plane crashes over the two years before that, just don't go as far as the twin towers, that was a freak incident in terms of stats.

Although if your little one has been informed of this one specifically, you might need to go into a little child like detail about some bad people having a fight with America.

If the little one knows about the airport issues this year, perhaps say that bad people were heard planning to do something bad, the police heard it, arrested them and they are locked away!

You will know the level to go and of terminology he is at at the moment.

Go into detail about what you will be doing on holiday and see how it works

ailuro2

Get him involved in the planning of what you intend to do every day- have pics ready of each place you could go, let them choose one day each.

As fot the plane crashing, remind him it's safer than travelling by car, and that they will get movies to watch etc.

Maybe take him to an airport beforehand to see the planes-there's always a certain buzz in an airport that I enjoy.

And stay calm with the ex.He's obviously a very sad creature to do this to his own child. I'm glad your oh has found you.:D

asandwhen

thanks you guys - taking him to the airport is a good idea we shall try that one as live quite close to luton airport - The other reason he is saying he doesnt want to go is that he will miss his Dad - he had a bit of a funny turn when he went camping with the school a few months ago and was really home sick and I think his dad has been playing on this too - we have explianed to him that it will be different as he will be with his family not teachers but he is adament that he wants to stay and his dad is saying to him that he doesnt have to go if he doesnt want too.

elona

Ask him if he will not miss his big brother and the fun they could be having together in Spain.

ailuro2

Remind him that you will all miss him greatly if he doesn't come, then that would be three people that were missing him instead of just one.

Are there any football camps or whatever he's into, at the place you're going?

Of course, remind him his sibling will have been abroad and he won't have,and he won't want that will he?;) Imagine hearing about how fantastic the holiday was?

Is his father likely to take him abroad at all?? (think we know the answer to this already...) If he's not he will probably not get to fly until he's an adult.

Of course you could call the father's bluff/play reverse psychology and hint that there's a holiday somewhere exotic and far flung that you and his ex would love to go on if someone would look after the kids...maybe he'd be so jealous at the thought of that , he'd refuse to look after them??

Lillibet_2

I agree with all of the above abotu getting him excited about it, & re-assuring him etc but I would add suggest to him that he can phone & email his dad whenever he wants to (but monitor the content in case dad tries further spoiling tactics) but I would be very firm & tell him that he is going & getting upset will only spoil it for him & others so he might as well look forward to it. I don't agree with giving a 9 year old a choice about a family holiday, you are the adults (although his dad has questionable maturity) not him. He will be fine once he gets there, although the build up & flight might not be much fun for you I'm afraid but this is only for a comparitavely short period of time.

Can you enlist his older sibling to assist & encourage & enthuse in your absence? Being older s/he may have a more balanced take on things.

Good luck & enjoy your holiday;)

Frugal_Fox

Definately go to an airport for a day out - not as daft as it sounds and mine have requested to go to Birmingham with a picnic to watch the planes.... Not sure what its like at Luton - but ring them to find out facilities. Last time we went to Birmingham - there are seats, just like on a plane, plus two CCTV cameras that can be operated from the viewing area - and by children, plus there is a big window that lets you see the planes being fueled up, the baggage being put in, them taxiing (sp??) out to the runway plus the take off and landing. Go on the internet - show him the pictures - but above all be honest. Planes do crash and they do make emergancy landings - keep facts simple but accurate - but talk about other forms of transport too.

Just out of interest - if he doesn't go - is he thinking that he could be going to his dads for the two weeks you are away and that his dad is going to 'spoil him' rotten and take him out loads??? Can you come up with a borring alternative?

Best of luck and I'm sorry that your partners ex has done this.

FF