I am in a dilemma

Horasio

My husband has been offered a permanent job which sounds great for him and us. It is less money than the contracting we have done for years but it is far less secure and has no benefits etc.

Trouble is it is still in Scotland and I am quite frankly bored stiff of it here. I have been here for 13 years and after being away last week, preferred where I was.

It could be because it was a holiday or maybe I am needing a change of scenery more permanently.

Our house is in the perfect location for the work, as it is currently, but don't like it, due to the people behind having loud parties midweek and feeling bullied by them and generally not liking being in the garden and it's general position.

I have a feeling he is going to accept the job which in the long term sounds better than the insecurity of contracting, although there is likely to be another 6 months of contracting in 2 x three month lumps.

He is on the verge of being offered permanent work where he is now, but again the pay is less and the work is less interesting than the other permanant job he has definitely been offered. Of course, in 6 months time there may be no work of any sort around then.

We can't decide whether to sell the place, if our son leaves home or I leave or get another place that accommodates the three of us. If anyone leaves, this place is too big for two people. This place was ex B&B so has facilities to let out rooms.

I am really going round in circles. Some input from you would be really appreciated

alyth

Hi CCStar, can't offer a huge amount of advice other than some hugs!

You need to break down your "problems" into bite size issues. What to do about your husband's job, whether you want to stay in Scotland or move down south, and whether you want to sell your house. Deal with one issue at a time. Talk to your husband - does he want to take the job - can you cope with less money but more stability?

Do you want to stay in Scotland - having moved from London back to Scotland having been down south for years I can understand you wanting to move back to England, but will things be any better - can you both get good jobs and a house down there?

Your house is probably the least of your problems - I live in a former hospital, and we're going to a closing date on Friday because so many people from down south want to move to Scotland - so perhaps investigate how much you would get for your house were you to sell, see what the market's like in your area.

Don't be overwhelmed - although I can completely relate to how you're feeling, as my partner's about to be offered a job in Holland, we're going on holiday in 2 days' time, the house as I say is going to closing, and everything is "what ifs" which I guess is how you are feeling. Good luck with everything.

Counting_Pennies_2

I think you need to sit down and chat openly with your husband. There are so many issues, and you probably need to work out for yourself what are the main issues in your life right now and highlight those first.

Sounds like the job change is helping you to focus on what probably hasn't been working out well in your life, but remember not everything has to change to put right what isn't working.

You have lived in the house for how long? Well could you not stay there for a little longer until you work out how the job goes and if it doesn't work out for him to look at more contracting if he keeps his contacts?

You probably want this situation to help you change everything, when changing things one at a time might be more supportive and stable.

Good luck