mum at home versus nursery

searcher30

there is conflicting information about whether kids develop faster at a nursery or with mum. my 2 year old does morning sessions but i am in 2 minds whether better to spend the time with my daughter or try and earn a decent income again. as it is my one and only child i suppose i want to offer the best. thanks in advance

msmicawber

I think it depends on the child's personality, really, but there seems to be evidence that children who attend nursery are better at socialising and adapting to new places and situations at a younger age. Primary School teachers say that they can tell the difference between those children who have attended nursery and those who have not.

However, one of my children thrived at nursery; the other found it an unbearable strain, and I ended up sending him to a childminder so that he could have more individual attention.

thriftmummy

Hi There,
My little boy is almost 2 and goes to nursery 2 days a week. I have worked part time since he was five months old, but for the first year my sister in law looked after him. I noticed a real difference in him after starting nursery. They pick up good habits and routines that they may not do with childminders.

There is always going to be a debate over which sort of childcare is best for children, but at the end of the day it all depends on the personality of the child. My son too will be our only child, so for me I think it's important he learns how to share and interact with other children.

Good luck with your decision

sundin13

My personal take is that spending some time each week in nursery is beneficial to children. I say this from my experience with DS1, 2 and 3. With 1 & 2 I went back to work (ten years apart) and they were with Childminders or in nursery. DS3 has never been in childcare, as we moved near to my parents and between myself, OH, and the old folks, we've been able to manage.

However DS3 has less language (just turned two), is less sociable, and is harder to deal with than my other sons. I know there are probably many factors behind this...but I think being at a Childminders or nursery would have made quite a difference. He's starting at nursery in September - and I can't wait. If I remember, I'll report back on whether it makes any difference to him in a month or two!!!

Rachie_B

I think 2 yrs is pretty young TBH

@ 2.5 both my sons went to playgroup for a few morning sessions then went onto school nursery first term after 3rd bday 5 morns a week

id have loved to have them home longer so to me age 2 attending nursery for however many sessions a week wouldnt have felt right to me personally

though it works for some and you just have to do what you feel comfortable with and whether the child is happy to go / stay in the setting


at the end of the day you can have good / bad nurseries just like all parent arent all the same in their parenting / teavhing skills ( not for one minute saying you arent a good mum lol but YKWIM ?) so guess this is a factor on whether the child will develop more quickly etc at home or at nursery

personally for younger children i prefer the "home from home" care of a nanny or a childminder

Mrs_pbradley936

I think a nursery for a child over 2. When I was in this position (a long time ago I admit) I had my sons' name down at a local fee paying nursery and they phone to say the had a place for him. At the time he was not quite 2 and not reliably potty trained. Anyway to cut a long story short she said to send him anyway, he start out just 3 mornings a week. He loved it and seemed bored the other two mornings so ended up going 5 mornings a week. He loved it, he had other children to play with and activities that I could not provide even if I wanted to. It all depends on the child, if she likes her sessions increase them. If on the other hand she hates it perhaps she wants more of you.

Edinburghlass_2

I reckon 2 is an ideal age. My daughter was at a childminder until 2 but around then she was beginning to pick up sayings and behaviour that I wasn't keen on and so decided on a private nursery.

She just went back to the nursery and did a weeks work experience there, thats how good her nursery was

jellyhead

mine hated nursery, i was trying to finish off uni but childcare just didn't suit him at that age. my sister's children both loved nursery though, and i can see my 12 month old begging for nursery as soon as he talks, some children just seem ready for it and they actually enjoy it, not sure how nursery compares with mum and toddler groups, but it might be better because it's the same faces each time so it will be easier to socialise. going to a toddler group every day we don't usually see the same people at more than 2 places.

mine is only 12 months now so i'm only speculating, but i can see him wanting nursery before he's 3 (he's a summer baby so will go to ordinary nursery just after he turns 3) whereas my other boy hated it and found it really difficult. he didn't talk there either, he was a late talker but when he left nursery the staff didn't know he was talking yet, but he had been talking at home for 6 months. he didn't play with other children there, was in a world of his own just waiting for hometime, even after a settling in period of months and months. i wish i hadn't put him through it for such a long trial period, but at the time i thought it would be good for him.

it really does depend on your child, as others have said. i can't remember any figures or where i read it (as usual!) but i read recently about nursery etc. and at which ages there is thought to be a benefit, and at which ages there are disadvantages etc. and from what i recall 2 year olds do well at nursery, but younger ones don't do so well. these 'studies' are always small and subjective though.

it's only mornings though, so any research based on full time childcare won't be relevant, mornings only is probably the ideal compromise really, unless your mum wants to have her and take her to the library, toddler groups etc. each day? what about nursery for 3 days a week if you're worried it's too much childcare to go 5 days?

ailuro2

I think a GOOD nursery can be great for the socialisation and early education of kids, and does wonders for the self esteem of mothers to get a brief visit into the world they used to inhabit- it's tough coming up with all the actvities that a nursery can provide on a day to day basis and still keep up with all the ironing cleaning etc.

Nice to have a brak from each other,then you appreicate each other all the more.:j

KathrynPenguin

My DS loves his nursery, he goes 3 days a week and is looked after by Dad, Nan & Gran on the other 2 days. Mummy works full time and has since he was 3 months old (OH was a stay at home dad).

DS is a happy, sociable, well adjusted boy with lovely manners which are noticable when he spends time with other children who only go to playgroup - his table manners when with a group of others are great (Doesn't grab at food, takes only a little then goes back for more - does get upset if someone takes from his plate though as he is not used to that!).

Ratio of staff to chidren at his nursery is very high though, might see a change after he starts school in September!

searcher30

i will have a good old think about it all. some useful info. thanks again