Dealt a bad blow and now my family suffer

wannabedebtfree_2

Don't allow the madman who did this to you to ruin the rest of your life, I can't even begin to imagine the horror you must have gone through, and it's no wonder you've ended up with depression and ptss.

Coming on here and asking for help is a MASSIVE step, and you should feel proud that you have been able to do that, today is the first day of you grabbing life, and taking back control, I think there must have been a change in you to have had the balls to write this post, so use that change to make some other steps, just baby ones at first, but you'll soon be running!!

There are a few things you need to do immediately, the first, you have already got the ball rolling with, and that is claiming on your PPI on your loan, if you have PPI for anything else, claim on that too, rather than leave the letter at the doctors, maybe arrange an appointment, they know your medical situation, and you could explain that you haven't applied for any help before, that you've realised how bad the money situation is, and maybe they won't charge you a fee for signing off a few pieces of paper, its worth asking.

Secondly, get yourself on the phone (if you don't feel comfortable face to face) and enquire about the benefits you are entitled to, you must be eligible for something, and every penny counts, don't see claiming as a failure, but as a rebate for all the cash you have paid in tax over your working life.

Thirdly, you need to slowly reintroduce yourself back into the world, this might feel like a huge no-no at the moment, and I don't know how much contact you have outside the house, but maybe take your daughter and step-son to school/playgroup, while you hang around waiting to pick them up someone will talk to you, might just be, "Lovely day isn't it?" or, "Oh, so you are so-and-so's dad" and it will make your heart race, you'll probably feel sick, the sweats will start, but you swallow that down, and say "Yes, the weather report was right for a change" etc etc, you may only say a few words the first day, but it will increase your confidence no end.

I wish I could help you more, I'm sending a massive hug, for you, the kids, and your partner, you could all do with it I'm sure.

xxxxx

overbudget

Just wanted to say welcome - posting on here is a huge first step and there are lots of really knowledgeable people who can help.

My first thoughts echo what others have said - please claim what you are entitled to. You are 38 years old - you have been paying into the system for long enough - you are ENTITLED to support now. Get some advice as to what you can claim and fill in the forms. Same goes for insurances/PPI - why should the banks have had your premiums for nothing - you are entitled to the money.

I would also take legal advice about claiming criminal injuries compensation. What happened to you is awful and has turned your life upside down. It was the result of a criminal assault - you should be entitled to compensation. You may also be able to claim compensation from your former employer for failing to protect you and/or give you adequate support after the event. Please seek legal advice.

Best of luck. Stay around here - people are very helpful.

Solar1

I agree , you should try criminal injuries board. Also your employer at the time must have had insurance against injuries to their employees and members of the public. You should pursue this, as they had a duty of care to you. Also when you left your job did you claim any tax refund you may have been due to on tax you paid their as you say you did not claim benefits. If you were working from home did you prepare accounts. I appreciate you did not make much money but what about the expenses you would have been able to claim in respect of the computer, heat and light etc. You may have made a loss which colud have been set against other income , thus generating a tax refund.

What about tax credits. Council tax rebate and any other benefits you may be entitled to.

As regards your outgoings, why are you subscribing for a mobile phone you are not using. The car insurance payments of £51 can these be reduced by using one of the companies suggested on this site. These may only be small amounts but every little helps.

Are all the cc's and loans in your name? Is there a possibility that you could apply for a credit card where you could transfer you existing amounts outstanding onto one card which gives you 6 months or more interest free. Thus everything you then pay back is off the amount owed and not funding interest.

With any savings you make you could try to pay off some of the smaller loans for your computer etc. Thus, you will be able to see some immediate result and have one less thing to worry about.

As your Nat West loan is covered by payment protection pursue this until the PP kicks in and then I would put this on the back burner . The only drawback here is that you have already continued to make payments which would have been covered while you were out of work and they are not going to give you this back. Check all other loans which you have to see if the same applies to them.

You should also contact the job centre. If you are unable to work due to medical grounds then you may be entitled to other benefits. Does your partner work. Does she or you work over 16 hours per week? If so you may be entitled to tax credits, another avenue to pursue. Also bear in mind that if you are entitled to tax credits the amount you may currently be receiving may be based of you previuos 12 months income , so you need to speak to the tax credit office about this.

Hope some of this is helpful.
All the best.

Floss

Just want to say.....we don't judge, we care about our fellow DFW's & as long as we see you post every now & then so we know how you're getting on, you don't have to make a committment to being a regular.

It must have be very very difficult for you to post such a frank & honest thread. I wish you the very best of luck with trying to get your life back after the horrific problems you have faced.

Love Floss x

dwarfer01

Can I just add that my thoughts are with you and that I hope you can turn this situation around. What happened to you was horrendous and I cant imagine how you must be feeling. I am sorry I cant add to any of the practical information here but I hope it is useful to you and that you can start to take some positive steps to resolution. Much love to you x

kickingkay

babes, well done you for coming on here and spilling your guts out! you are braver than you think, ok well first things first you need to claim back if you can on your insurance policies then cancel them or it brings in more money cancel them (some refund the difference if it is cancelled early) now contact the CCCS / national debt line or payplan tehy will have some great advice for you, if you were working (not a judgement by any means) then you could go back to your creditors and try an negotiate a lower %/ repayment plan, but in your situation you are unable to make any payments you have been out of work a long time and you might be entitled to more form the state than you think, it doesnt mean you are beneath anyone nor are you spunging so dont think that way, but you do need to live and so does your family.
my advise go see your local dss and sort out what you are entitled to and get it sorted now, contact your creditors by post if you feel braver, but get it recoreded it will only cost you a few extra pence, explain your situation and that you are seeking professional help
contact these debt helplines i have mentioned they really will advise you best
however if you are in neg equity and can go bancrupt then do so i would now if i could, im in a dmp have been for 8 months, with nearly 215 months to go
take care xxxxx

domestic_goddess

I just wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you and even though you have been through such a lot you still have your family. So you still have to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel ( cliche or what).
I dont really have anything to add to advise you other than look into everything that has been said here. Write evry piece of advice down and work through your list, Just having something to focus your energies on may help you feel better.
Also. Are you already seeking medical help about the depression - if not make an appointment today!!!!

Everything will work out for you and the first step was coming on here.

Good luck

xx:beer:

lou_lou_skinty_poos

hi there i am so sorry to hear of ure situation a colleague i work with has just been stabbed with a hyperdermic and is going through it rite now its such a terrible thing to happen. i dont know if uve throught of this but if you were in a union at the time you were stabbed you should get in contact with them and try to persue and industrial accident claim you may get thousands and try to see if you are entitled to any benifits too youve paid taxes in the past and you deserve some help so you should take what you can. ring payplan https://www.payplan.co.uk there really helpful and a little less busy than cccs rite now. i wish you lots of luck for the future and pursue that claim i know my friend in work has been told she can claim for her insident.

Taylor_2

So many replies! I am completely overcome that so many people should take the time to help a complete stranger. It has certainly made me realise a few things and I thank you all for taking the time to help me. It means so much.

I have a few things to add. I really am all over the place right now so excuse me if I don't answer your question or respond.

Firstly, Snagglepuss you are not patronising at all. The questions you ask are perfectly ok and I feel that most of my dirty washing is out in the open. In order for me to get myself out of this mess, I must be totally honest and up front with both myself and people like yourself who are prepared to help people on this board.

Yes, I am being treated at the moment. I have a prescription here for anti depresants which I am reluctant to take. Also, I have no money to buy the prescription. I have been told that they are non habit forming, but I am looking into alternatives. I am going to ring Mind on monday and see if they can fit me in for some sessions.
I admit finally that I do need help and that I cannot continue like this.
Thankyou so much for your reply.

As regards to my work discharging me, neither the CAB nor my Union said that I had any case against the company. I am persuing the option, but settled for two claim forms. One being CICA (Criminal Injuries Compensation Authority) which I am filling out now.
The other is the T&G Drivecare Benefit Claim form. Unfortunately I need my doc to sign this. Wannabedebtfree, I will take your kind suggestion and approach my surgury. Thankyou.

My personal situation is that I am actually single. My partner and I split many years ago. I live about 12 miles from my daughter but see her nearly every day. Her mother and myself are on friendly terms and I do all I can to make sure they enjoy a comfortable life.
Her son is from a relationship that went horribly wrong. The father of her son denies his existance and this outrages me. This poor child is made to suffer and I am not prepaired to see he goes without. I guess I unnoficially "adopted" him.
Thier mother does not work at present.

I did not sleep much last night. That is a fact of life at present. I "accidently" saw a programme on tv the other night that showed a woman bus driver threatened with a needle. It brought all the horrors flooding back and I had to leave my friends house rather abrubtly. I look at the world today and wonder just what went wrong. Then I look at the people on this board and realise there is hope.

So, what do I do now?

Firstly, this weekend, I am going to get all my details and paper work sorted out. Monday, I will ring the CCCS and discuss what I have learnt from you kind people. I will make an appointment to visit the Job center and see if i am entitled to help. I will probably need to take a friend with me.

I will try and negotiate with the people I owe money to. I may visit the CAB first to see if they will represent me also.
Then I am going to get out of bed every morning and realise that my life isn't so bad and that people such as loveandlight have been through so much and yet still hold their heads up and even spare time to support others. My special thanks and hugs especially to you.

I am not going to make any rash decisions just yet. Bankrupsy is always something I fall back on should I need to. I dont want to, but its an option.

Oh almost forgot. My phone!! I am in a contract till Jan. I will speak with Orange this afternoon and explain the situation. I am using a PAYG phone at the moment.
Also, my car insurance, I will do the same.

Today is a particullarly bad day for me. Actually, the worst i have felt in some time. Maybe tomorrow I will wake up and actually smile.

Thankyou all again for your very much needed comments and advise. I look at peoples sigs and realise I dont have too bad and their is a light, although extremely dim, at the end of the tunnel, it is there!

I really hope that if you can spare the time to post here and add to the fantasic advice I have already recieved, you will. Thankyou for reading and may you all be debt free soon.

Taylor_2

lou_lou_skinty_poos wrote:

hi there i am so sorry to hear of ure situation a colleague i work with has just been stabbed with a hyperdermic and is going through it rite now its such a terrible thing to happen. i dont know if uve throught of this but if you were in a union at the time you were stabbed you should get in contact with them and try to persue and industrial accident claim you may get thousands and try to see if you are entitled to any benifits too youve paid taxes in the past and you deserve some help so you should take what you can. ring payplan https://www.payplan.co.uk there really helpful and a little less busy than cccs rite now. i wish you lots of luck for the future and pursue that claim i know my friend in work has been told she can claim for her insident.

I am so sorry to hear about your friend and the ordeal she is going through. I am not a religious person, but sometime a few words can make all the difference. I will certainly be saying some for her and thankyou so much for your advise.