Would you let this Dad see your children?

SallyUK

My children's father left us 10 years ago and there has been no contact ever since, no phone calls, no letters, cards, nothing. (see one of my other threads for full story.)

We lost the house, he left us with piles of unpaid bills and then just after Xmas, my daughter came downstairs carrying her laptop and was as white as a sheet. Her father has sent her a Friend request on Facebook!!! :mad:

I told her and my son that it was their choice as to whether they chose to be in touch with him, however they both have said they don't want to know him. Can't say I blame them really.

So, my answer would be no to this question that the OP posted. He may be their father, but when acting like that, he has no rights in my opinion.

Sal
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Savvy_Sue

Errata wrote: »

If he has cancer he'll have a Macmillan nurse, so there's no need to ask the nurse if he has it or not.

I'm not sure it's that clear cut, is it? Dad had prostate cancer for years, and I was never aware of him having one. And I think they would have mentioned it.

Admittedly his cancer was one of the 'all men would die from it if they lived long enough' kinds, rather than the 'weeks to live following diagnosis' kinds. But even so, I didn't think you would just be 'assigned' a nurse automatically.

Of course, since the OP's ex doesn't seem to want contact any more anyway, it's all a bit academic, BUT I'm still not sure that asking for details of his MacMillan nurse will settle things one way or another, ie that if he doesn't have one, he doesn't have cancer.

ben500

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I'm not sure it's that clear cut, is it? Dad had prostate cancer for years, and I was never aware of him having one. And I think they would have mentioned it.

Admittedly his cancer was one of the 'all men would die from it if they lived long enough' kinds, rather than the 'weeks to live following diagnosis' kinds. But even so, I didn't think you would just be 'assigned' a nurse automatically.

Of course, since the OP's ex doesn't seem to want contact any more anyway, it's all a bit academic, BUT I'm still not sure that asking for details of his MacMillan nurse will settle things one way or another, ie that if he doesn't have one, he doesn't have cancer.

I think what Errata was trying to say is if he has a MacMillan nurse there is no need to ask the question does he have cancer, not that if he has cancer he must have a nurse.

Errata

ben500 wrote: »

I think what Errata was trying to say is if he has a MacMillan nurse there is no need to ask the question does he have cancer, not that if he has cancer he must have a nurse.

Thanks, yes I was. Cancer care pathways specify the early assignment of a Keyworker, who is often a MacMillan nurse, but can also be for instance a Specialist Breast Care nurse, or a Chemoradiotherapy Specialist nurse who will support the patient and their family in the same way as a Macmillan nurse.
Like everything else in the NHS, some Trusts will perform better than others in this area.

Liquorice_Twirls

Surely the ones with the biggest "rights" here (and I really hate that word) are the children involved. Each parent has greater responsibilities than "rights" and I'm not sure that the Dad here has really shouldered his responsibilities and in many ways this has resulted in his children being cut off from their right to a Dad in their life for many years.
Although all children should ideally have the right to a "responsible", involved and committed Dad in their life, I have a feeling here that with so much unknown about his current situation and commitment to the kids (that is being willing to be regularly interested/involved with his kids, not long term health/lifespan), that his kids have the right not to have their hopes raised and then dashed by this man just now.