A good job or quality of life..

gabyjane

Didn't know how to title it tbh so stay with me!!

Ok i'm a childminder and have since the day i started earnt a good wage..been lucky i dont know but got to the point 4 weeks ago where i lost my full time child and as of wed will only have school run children. I was asked to look after twins full time last week and fingers crossed sign the paperwork on the 31st..this will bring in a lot a week and on working out my annual wage last night was quite shocked to see what i would be on.
This includes my employed part time job and some of the school runs as will have to lose a couple to accomodate the twins (before anyone jumps in parents know etc!) but basically what with mine and dh's wages we have the opportunity to save a hell of a lot of money up.

Dh works full time hours over 4 days and has 3 off.

So after a row this morning over him helping with bits round the house etc and him saying 'get a cleaner etc' i wondered why i bother..we dont NEED to earn what we do but i feel as we are young we should take what we can get and pay off as much of the house so we are not like this years down the line? I think we cope as we are why make more work for the sake of it? but id'e get bored not working and am a glutten for punishment! I have worked since being 15 all the time and had a few months off when dd 2 was born due to her dad walking out..after that i was straight back into it..and have been ever since.

So for those of you or partners in time consuming jobs how do you have an equal balance and avoid splitting up!! at the mo we see each other quite a lot but this will change to hardly ever..would just be interested in how couples cope with running a house and working and seeing each other as im having doubts at the mo.

Thanks

Yorkshire-Lady_3

I too am a childminder, and know how hard it can be.
My DH is a businessman, very experienced and it involves him travelling both in the UK and abroad, delivering seminars, teaching at various universities and generally, top dog at what he does.
I tend to be the typical stay at home mum, despite our own children being grown up and all but one left home. I just look after other peoples kiddies instead of my own!

I do all the grocery shopping, washing, cleaning, ironing etc, but we've been married many years and this was my role when we first got married, and I was HAPPY to take on that role.

I do occasionally have a bit of a rant as to all I do around the house, together with working 7am to 5.30pm with no lunch break. But...........in reality, I enjoy earning what I earn, and his wage pays all the bills together with around £600 spare.

Its not easy, but we are as in love as we were on the day we married, if not more so, so I count myself very lucky.

Not much help, sorry!

nearlyrich

I am not a childminder ( odd one out here) but I have a high pressure long hours job whilst DH is retired so I know what you mean. I do have a cleaner and I only do washing at weekends, DH cooks most days and we do the shopping together.

My plan is to leave the rat race at 55 (about 6 years off) but to be honest I may not stay at this kind of job for that much longer. We like to travel and my lack of holiday tme is a problem compared to his 365 per year....

my_gorgeous_ellie-belle

Hmmm i gave up my job because 1, we were never seeing each other so rowing ridiculously over silly things (he works shifts so some weeks i'd be coming in and he'd litterally be walking out of the door, and vica versa the next morning). And 2, because unfortunately i didn't have such a great childminder, she'd not listen to anything i said regarding no sweets/biscuits/chocolates - limited TV and my then 2yr old used to come home swearing which she'd been learning from the older children (i basically got all the opposite).

Unfortunately work didn't want to let me change my hours so i could put her in nursery and i couldn't find another childminder to work late into the eve as i needed. So it was stick with the way things were and our family suffer, or quit my job, live on less but be happier. I went for the latter, and have been SAHM for the past almost 2 yrs.

I have baby number 2 on the way now and i'll stay off work till he is 4 and off to school - then i'll work (anywhere, even in a village shop) just the hours they are in school so that i am about when i'm needed and can keep the home nice etc and keep the family happy. Less stress, happier family but less money - but you get used to this and learn to live within your means

It's a hard choice but only you know what's right for your family

I too had worked since 16, so neer known any different - AND it was EXTREMELY hard to come to terms with not having my own money every month, and being able to spend as i pleased...tough stuff :P

LJM

i personally am live on less and be happy my oh works full time and i part time as a TA in a couple of schools my hours can range from 5 up to 35 a week sometimes on short notice. whilst all this is good money saved sometimes i feel that i should be at home i have 2 girls 9 and 5 and have missed school trips,assemblies etc and i do feel bad, still undecided as to whether to leave or not. if you are happy to work hard earn the money then go for it but dont let it come between your relationship with your partner. i would just say go with your heart there is no right or wrong what ever decision you make im sure it will be the right one

my_gorgeous_ellie-belle

LJM your signature is really beautiful - made me smile! Sorry for hijacking there, just had to say, lol!

Errata

I found the good salary I earned paid for a cleaner and a gardener which gave me plenty of time to enjoy the better things in life. My hourly rate was signficantly greater than theirs, so it just made sound economic sense.

izoomzoom

Sounds like someone on another site

To me it sounds like you are burning an awful lot of candles and to be honest I wouldn't.

We have debts dragging us down, but once they are gone, I don't see the point.

Savvy_Sue

Well, if you want to work and enjoy it, why NOT pay someone to do the things you DON'T want to do and DON'T enjoy?

my_gorgeous_ellie-belle

Yep, i agree. How much do you NEED the job, and if you love it keep going. If not so much to both questions then give up but be prepared to cut back big time. But baring in mind this is coming from someone who yes is in debt, but not high debt so as long as OH is secure (and lucky for us he's in a field of work that isn't suffering at the mo, thank god, he is needed) then we are just about ok. And i'm happy to be just about ok, once the kiddies are at school i'll be back at work as staying home in an empty house every day would drive me crazy lol. Plus then i'll continue saving for a mortgage, for now it can wait!

But Savvy sue is right, if you love your job just get a cleaner for the bits in the house that you are rowing about! Our rows were a lot worse than just household jobs so it made sense for me to quit, our main gripe being our daughter and her behaviour but neither could do much to make it better unfortunately and still both bring in a good income.

katieclampet

If you can afford it, I would chose quality of life over money every time. I suppose it depends on what you want/need the money for, not every one has the luxury of being able to make a choice. I used to work full time at a very stressful job in a senior position, oh worked fulltime & I had 3 teen age children. I now work part time in a similar job, but a lot lower down the payscale. I have never regretted the loss of money, and I still enjoy my job.

Maybe you could look at a compromise? I think you need to discuss it with your oh, and make a decision that is right for you

katiex