What chores would you expect from an 18-year-old living at home?

focae

I told both of mine "18 and your out"!!

Of course I didn't mean it!!

To be honest they couldn't wait to help with the shopping - it meant they could have the car!

BitterAndTwisted

This thread illustrates very well why all children should be encouraged to help around the home as soon as they are old enough to hold a duster. Even a five year-old can be expected to tidy up toys or help lay a table. Being a skivvy only feeds the expectation that you'll continue to be a skivvy and you won't get any thanks for it either

rev_henry

tsabo wrote: »

Cooking one or two meals a week doesn't seem unreasonable at all. Why not sit down before you do the weekly shop and plan the meals? This way you know what is happening, who is cooking what and when etc.
A cookbook aimed at students would be perfect really, they're so simple to follow and she'd be getting practice in before uni. The amount of people who go and have NO cooking or life skills is awful really!

Don't know if its already been mentioned but such books do exist. I was given this for Christmas a while ago and can recommend it.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/New-Students-Veggie-Cook-Book/dp/0572024002/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1265624060&sr=8-3

There's a meaty version as well, and many similar books if you look on amazon. Only done one or two things from it yet, but I imagine I'll use it more at uni next year.

EDIT: And to add to this debate, I'm 18 and hardly ever do anything around the house, although my mother works part time from home often and seems to like doing things for me. I'm sure this will do me no favours come September though.

space_rider

smartpicture wrote: »

Hmmm, I may have to point her in that direction.

I'm pleased to report we have had some success - she cooked a stir-fry from a jar for her first attempt, and then managed to do her own stir-fry without the jar on her second attempt, so there is progress. I'm not actually that keen on stir-fry but not going to mention that as the important fact is that I didn't have to cook it!

She's a great daughter really, just needs nudging in the right direction occasionally.

That`s what my daughter normally cooks or a curry. She doesn`t cook things for as long as I do and I often end up with tummy ache, but she`s trying! She has now stopped making a huge mess of the kitchen.

Apricot

When I was 18, I was in uni & had a part time job but still lived at home. I used to do all of my own washing and ironing, empty & fill the dishwasher and keep my room tidy. I used to cook for myself perhaps once a week (when everyone was out) and for the whole family another day.

Savvy_Sue

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I don't do things they want from me unless they've done what I want. No aggro, just a statement of fact: "Yes, of course I'll give you a lift / help you find / cook your tea ... when you have washed up."

At the moment I regularly ask DS3 to wash up before I get home from work (he's the only one here in term time). If he hasn't, I won't start cooking tea. And before anyone asks, I can't face the aggro of getting him to do it soon after a meal.

ATM I have the ultimate weapon - he wants MONEY! :rotfl: Well, I asked him to prepare some peppers for the freezer on Sunday afternoon. I did most of them myself tonight. So, that's a few days he'll have to wait.

suelizab

studying for Alevels. 5 hrs study per subject, plus essays, plus revision for exams, plus works part-time. Personally, I would leave her be for now. But now my daughter cooks for me most days and its heaven!

Triggles

Our DD moved back in with us at 19 and lived with us until she was 23, just moving out a few months ago into her own flat. While she lived with us her contributions for the household chores was as follows:

- washing up the dishes in the evenings (included wiping down the counters and a quick sweep of kitchen and dining room)
- her own laundry, including her sheets
- she cooked supper twice each week, although sometimes one of those meals was both of us cooking, as we did recipes she wanted to learn to cook, so it was a bit of a "cooking lesson" time
- cleaned the bathrooms (we have 2) on the weekend
- general picking up after herself, hoovering occasionally

She worked part time - 3 days per week - and has a DS, so that kept her occupied as well. We felt she needed to do things that she would eventually do on her own, and she felt it was fair. With her doing supper twice during hte week and cleaning the bathrooms on the weekend, it meant I only needed to clean the bathroom midweek and cook supper 5 nights a week, which lessened my load a bit, as we were quite crowded in the house and we also helped out with her DS a fair bit. Even if she did not have her DS, I would have expected her to help out the same. I don't buy into the nonsense that because I'm mum that I'm supposed to do all the housework and the kids have no responsibilities. Even our 3yo has to pick up after himself and help out here and there.

Pee

I do think it depends on her college and work hours - college and part-time work could be a lot more onerous than working full time, or a lot less, depending on what she is actually doing.

It sounds to me like she is doing pretty well - no doubt due to your reasonable and sensible approach. I do think getting her to cook a couple of nights a week is a very good thing. Partly cooking is about confidence and it'll be a real asset to her in Uni / when she goes out into the real world. I wouldn't on the other hand get her doing too much, as you will miss her when she leaves!

The sewing and mending sounded like good advice. I don't know about washing. Washing is oine of those things that can go wrong and cause heaps of damage... I would be really reluctant to let anyone wash my clothes.

grastgirl

I would agree that picking a day to do the dinner (at least to start with) is a good compromise. I did pretty much house share with my Dad and cousin from 16-19, eventually including doing a weekly shop on my own, with my own money. I would say it didn't leave time for much else.

I would say that perhaps when there are coursework deadlines or actual exams coming up, perhaps go a bit easier on her regarding housework, the one blazing row I had with my Dad was over me not doing the housework he thought I should be doing while I was stressed to the eyeballs with school work (not that he'd noticed). Perhaps if you plan the weeks meals in advance and ask her to pick one/two to do to fit with her schedule?