What are the legalities, if any, for inviting daughters friend on hols??

Kazipoo

Hi there,

The hubby has asked me to post a question to you knowledgable lot ...

We have decided to take our daughter on holiday for her 18th birthday. As luck would have it, it falls over the school holidays and we have seen a really good deal. Now, its not until next year (but I like to be prepared), and her best friend is gutted that she won't be able to celebrate her birthday with her. So, my daughter has asked us, since we will be in a villa, if we could invite her friend along with us.

Now, she is a lovely girl and really brings out the best in our girls, and they have been friends throughout high school, but the hubby is worried about the responsibility of looking after someone elses child. She will be 17 as she is slightly younger than our eldest, and there probably won't be any problems. But, what if something were to go wrong? I know chances are that it won't, but what if there was an accident, or my daughters' friend got herself into trouble? Would we be legally responsible? (And I mean if it was out of our hands). What if her friend got mega drunk, fell down and broke her leg, or worse.... could the parents sue us?

We know the parents a little, but we are not actively friends, if you know what I mean, and they seem like lovely parents, with the same values as us, and I have no problem with our daughter going to their house, and they are the same, but a holiday is a different kettle of fish altogether, and although we would love to say yes to our daughter, we are wary of the additional responsibilities or should I say legal implications this could carry.

Any advice would be very welcome.

MrsE_2

I took my DDs friend on holiday when they were both about 14-15:eek:

My DD loved having her friend:)

No problems.

~daisy~_2

my daughter was invited to spain by her BFF family last october half term she was 13 at the time
things like this didnt cross my mind - maybe im naive but i just assumed they would care for her as if she was there child whilst in there care ? :shrugging smilie:

no accidents tho and a lovely time was had by all concerned

simpywimpy

I took my daughters 14yr old friend last summer with us. No probs and a lovely bunch of flowers from her parents when I got back

poet123

I went on holiday for years with my best friend and her family....if the parents seem nice people there should be no issues. Or is your DH thinking that if your DD went away with her friend and had an accident he would sue? Do as you would be done by, seems appropriate here.

Mr_Lahey

Ok, for what its worth you would not be liable unless the 'incident' was reasonably foreseeable.

In other words your duty of care in Tort only extends as far as is reasonable. For instance, if you all went out on the razz and she fell down some stairs and broke her leg you would not be liable. The reason is simple, there are certain 'tests' which must be fulfilled, off the top of my head these are things like proximity and foreseeability and reasonableness.

In other words there the girl would pretty much have to get a broken leg as a result of you leaving a wire the colour of the tiles on the floor at ankle height for you to be liable. Even then you could argue whether or not you had sufficient 'duty of care' since a person 16+ can travel alone.

In even further other'er words there is a 99.9% chance that if everything on the planet went wrong - You would not be liable - Unless of course you did it on purpose.

mum2one

Kazipoo wrote: »

Hi there,

The hubby has asked me to post a question to you knowledgable lot ...

We have decided to take our daughter on holiday for her 18th birthday. As luck would have it, it falls over the school holidays and we have seen a really good deal. Now, its not until next year (but I like to be prepared), and her best friend is gutted that she won't be able to celebrate her birthday with her. So, my daughter has asked us, since we will be in a villa, if we could invite her friend along with us.
Thats a lovely idea, and ur daughter sounds really warm hearted.

Now, she is a lovely girl and really brings out the best in our girls, and they have been friends throughout high school, but the hubby is worried about the responsibility of looking after someone elses child. She will be 17 as she is slightly younger than our eldest, and there probably won't be any problems. But, what if something were to go wrong? I know chances are that it won't, but what if there was an accident, or my daughters' friend got herself into trouble? Would we be legally responsible? (And I mean if it was out of our hands). What if her friend got mega drunk, fell down and broke her leg, or worse.... could the parents sue us?

We know the parents a little, but we are not actively friends, if you know what I mean, and they seem like lovely parents, with the same values as us, and I have no problem with our daughter going to their house, and they are the same, but a holiday is a different kettle of fish altogether, and although we would love to say yes to our daughter, we are wary of the additional responsibilities or should I say legal implications this could carry.

Any advice would be very welcome.

It sounds like you've got over the 1st battle that both girls intearact well into the others houses,

I apologise that you have had the negative comments, but theres always someone who just trolls the boards looking to throw a spanner into the works.

I know you say you know the parents, but not actively friends, why not suggest a get together, maybe the 4 of you go out for a meal, doesn't have to be posh restaurant, a pub meal, if they were close friends I'd say have a meal at home, but "not close" a pub takes the hassle out of it.

I'd just say its to have a chat about the hols, you can use it the foloowing as an ice-breaker into whats acceptable/not acceptable

Has the girl got any allergies
on mediciation
make sure her passports upto date

Then you could bring the conversation round to if she tripped etc, obviously the conversation goes from there, reasuure them that shes like one of your own daughters, obviously you may have to give consent, and that you'd ring them.

During the converation there going to say what their limits would be etc, and you could work from there.

If the boot was on the other foot, I'd be really appricated and reassured that my daughter was in great hands.

.......
For me, my daughters 7, but going on 18, and theres a circle of dd and 2 friends who take out and vice versa, at 1st the one mum laughed when I was asking questions re allergies, is it ok to photos, there was a school trip when the one of the mums couldn't go, and I was assisgned her child to look after, as I don't usually do the school run, there was me with dd and the friend, taking photos.

Got back to school, and one of the other parents had run the school complaining I was taking photos, they then contacted the mum, who said its perfectly ok, shes asked and the kids are friends etc.

So I can fully see where hubby is coming from, as its how society is today, but after checking I'd say go and have a good holiday.

xx

Mr_Lahey

mum2one wrote: »

It sounds like you've got over the 1st battle that both girls intearact well into the others houses,

I apologise that you have had the negative comments, but theres always someone who just trolls the boards looking to throw a spanner into the works.

I know you say you know the parents, but not actively friends, why not suggest a get together, maybe the 4 of you go out for a meal, doesn't have to be posh restaurant, a pub meal, if they were close friends I'd say have a meal at home, but "not close" a pub takes the hassle out of it.

I'd just say its to have a chat about the hols, you can use it the foloowing as an ice-breaker into whats acceptable/not acceptable

Has the girl got any allergies
on mediciation
make sure her passports upto date

Then you could bring the conversation round to if she tripped etc, obviously the conversation goes from there, reasuure them that shes like one of your own daughters, obviously you may have to give consent, and that you'd ring them.

During the converation there going to say what their limits would be etc, and you could work from there.

If the boot was on the other foot, I'd be really appricated and reassured that my daughter was in great hands.

.......
For me, my daughters 7, but going on 18, and theres a circle of dd and 2 friends who take out and vice versa, at 1st the one mum laughed when I was asking questions re allergies, is it ok to photos, there was a school trip when the one of the mums couldn't go, and I was assisgned her child to look after, as I don't usually do the school run, there was me with dd and the friend, taking photos.

Got back to school, and one of the other parents had run the school complaining I was taking photos, they then contacted the mum, who said its perfectly ok, shes asked and the kids are friends etc.

So I can fully see where hubby is coming from, as its how society is today, but after checking I'd say go and have a good holiday.

xx

I bet you're marriage is interesting.

budgetflyer

You really need to forget about all the "what ifs" or you wouldn't step over the door would you?
If its your daughters friend, you know her,she fits in with your kind of lifestyle, her parents are ok with it, then it should be no hassle.
Weve done it lots of times with sons + daughters friends- no problem.

Kazipoo

Thanks for the replies guys. We would invite her in a heartbeat, she is such a lovely girl, and the two of them together, well its a bit like watching slapstick comedy to tell you the truth.

The question was only asked because of the current culture we live in, everyone seems to be suing everyone for everything.

I will definitely speak to the parents first before we suggest it to their daughter, don't want her putting undue pressure on the parents too, its not fair.

The hubby is just over-cautious because some parents don't take the responsibility of looking after a child as seriously as others if you know what I mean, we wouldn't just dole our kids out to anyone, we would have to make sure that we trust them first.

Now the other thing is, I know they are suffering a little bit financially at the moment, because the mother has had breast cancer and is still recovering, so has been off work for 2 years on and off, so as far as the cost goes, we would be willing to foot the bill, because it only works out at the additional cost of the flight for her daughter. However, I don't want to make her think that we think they are a charity case, but I don't want her to feel obliged to pay either.

stephb34

Try to make her feel like they are doing you a favour by letting her daughter come with you and that your happy to pay for the flights because then your daughter wont be moaning for the duration of the holiday thats she's bored, but if they could send her with some spending money that would be great.