don't know what to do

annabelle1

hello, i don't really know where to post this, but just wanted some advice and i've read other posts where everyone seems really helpful.

My dad lost his job a few months ago, and my mum stays at home to look after the house. We have been ok as my mum is very good at saving money, so we have enough to get by for a while.

However, i have an older brother and sister who just graduated from uni last summer (09) and now live at home. Neither of them pay my parents any housekeeping money, and do nothing to help around the house. Whilst my brother has a part time job (2 days a week), my sister has done pretty much nothing since she has graduated. She has some savings which i assume she has been using since she finished uni, but not sure how long that will last. Shes very introverted, and although she does work hard I think she is scared of entering the working world for the first time.

I know that she applied for a few jobs around september time online but nothing came of it. I kept telling her to go to a recruitment agency as they would be more helpful but she didn't and I think she is now fed up of looking. I want to encourage her to get a job as I think it is ridiculous that she is sitting around doing nothing, but if i started to speak to her and she didn't want to hear it she would just get annoyed and walk out of the room. I work part time alongside uni so that I can save money in case my mum needs it, but I don't know how else to help. any suggestions?

McKneff

Hello, just wanted to give you some encouragement and say what a lovely sister you must be. I have one just like you. and i love her to bits.

However, i do feel your brother and sister should be contributing to the family finances or at least do their bit around the house. I think the time has come when your parents need some financial support from all three of you.
Ask your mum and dad to have a word with them.
Your parents must be living on their savings which is really not fair on them.
Good for you for being so thoughtful.

Oldernotwiser

If your sister is claiming JSA then she should be giving most of this to your parents for her keep, your brother should be contributing out of his earnings and you should be paying out of your student funding.

If you think that your father isn't getting the benefits which he's eligible for, I'd post a question about this on the Benefits Board. At the very least he should be getting JSA and help towards the rent, if applicable.

MrsAnnie

Hi annabelle1, you come across as a very thoughtfull and caring sister and daughter. However, I do feel that it is your parent's responsiblity to take on the burden of the household finances, not you (your intentions are a very admirable quality). But, you have your uni work and a job to juggle. I am certain that if your parents are genuinely struggling they will push your DS to find employment. Sometimes parents keep savings hush hush. That's just the way we are . And if your DM is good at money saving then you probably have little to worry over.

annabelle1

thank you for all your encouragement.

No my sister isn't claiming JSA, I think she has too many savings as we all have ISAs. My brother doesn't pay anything towards rent, but he earns under £350pm and says he needs that money for his car and to go out. I live in a privately rented house at uni, so I don't pay any housekeeping either but I always work in the holidays at home (luckily my summer job always takes me back) and give my mum money from that.

I know that we aren't struggling financially yet, but I dont want it to come to that point and I think if we were struggling with money my parents wouldn't tell me. I just want both my siblings to get jobs so that I don't have to worry about it anymore.

floss2

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

... you should be paying out of your student funding...

Did you advise your Education Authority of your dad losing his job? They may be able to do a recalculation of your grant & loan.

Oldernotwiser

annabelle1 wrote: »

thank you for all your encouragement.

No my sister isn't claiming JSA, I think she has too many savings as we all have ISAs. My brother doesn't pay anything towards rent, but he earns under £350pm and says he needs that money for his car and to go out. I live in a privately rented house at uni, so I don't pay any housekeeping either but I always work in the holidays at home (luckily my summer job always takes me back) and give my mum money from that.

I know that we aren't struggling financially yet, but I dont want it to come to that point and I think if we were struggling with money my parents wouldn't tell me. I just want both my siblings to get jobs so that I don't have to worry about it anymore.

Apologies, from your first post I thought that you were living at home.

As your siblings seem to have substantial savings, I assume that your parents are quite well off. In this case they wouldn't be eligible for means tested benefits and would, quite rightly, be living off their savings.

You sound like a lovely person but I wouldn't get involved in your parents' financial problems (if they have any) or with your siblings' situations. Concentrate on doing well in your studies and don't waste your energies on what's happening at home - it really isn't your problem.