feeling down..

pinksherbet_2

Hi Everyone,
I used to regularly post on here but i stopped about a year ago so i have re-registered. This place was a godsend for me, you're an amazing lot and I honestly don't know where i'd be if i hadn't found this site.

Long story short - I've been on a DMP with CCCS for 3 years, originally owing £27k on CCs and a loan. I now owe £14k but I've had to reduce my monthly payments down to £300pcm from £444. (My working hours have been reduced).

I feel like I'm back at square one. The phonecalls and letters are starting again and I really can't face it. I got in to debt because I was very unwell and couldn't work and never claimed a penny in benefits ( i probably didn't want to admit it to anyone) In hindsight this was a mistake.. I never used the money on lavish gifts, on clothes or gadgets i simply used it to survive.

The debt has also stopped me from planning events in my life like starting a family, buying a property etc... We went to a party at the weekend and i came home feeling so poor. I'd bought a top from a charity shop to wear, we got the last bus home (saving £20) but most of out friends are loaded, live in big houses, holiday 3 times a year and talk about investment opportunities etc.. I'm so fed up!!

Sorry for moaning, but i guess i need to vent...

I've spent the last 3 hours looking through posts and again trying to find ways of saving money etc..

You're all fab and i look forward to being a regular again..

Thanks!
:j

Lucifa73

pinksherbet wrote: »

Hi Everyone,
I used to regularly post on here but i stopped about a year ago so i have re-registered. This place was a godsend for me, you're an amazing lot and I honestly don't know where i'd be if i hadn't found this site.

Long story short - I've been on a DMP with CCCS for 3 years, originally owing £27k on CCs and a loan. I now owe £14k but I've had to reduce my monthly payments down to £300pcm from £444. (My working hours have been reduced).

I feel like I'm back at square one. The phonecalls and letters are starting again and I really can't face it. I got in to debt because I was very unwell and couldn't work and never claimed a penny in benefits ( i probably didn't want to admit it to anyone) In hindsight this was a mistake.. I never used the money on lavish gifts, on clothes or gadgets i simply used it to survive.

The debt has also stopped me from planning events in my life like starting a family, buying a property etc... We went to a party at the weekend and i came home feeling so poor. I'd bought a top from a charity shop to wear, we got the last bus home (saving £20) but most of out friends are loaded, live in big houses, holiday 3 times a year and talk about investment opportunities etc.. I'm so fed up!!

Sorry for moaning, but i guess i need to vent...

I've spent the last 3 hours looking through posts and again trying to find ways of saving money etc..

You're all fab and i look forward to being a regular again..

Thanks!
:j

Hi Pink. Well done on your achievements so far - just think you have only half the debt you had when you started which is fantastic.

I haven't had to do a DMP but ave recently had to contact creditors etc as I was made redundant at the start of the year and now the redundancy pay is running out...

As for your friends - well anyone can talk the talk but chances are if you were to be able to peek behind the scenes/get past the facades things aren't quite so rosy for all of them but they haven't yet had their LBM. Who knows how big a hole they are digging themselves to keep up with each other... Be proud that you have acknowledged your problem and are tackling it head on regardless of what life is throwing at you along the way.

Big hugs

Luc x

yellowduck_2

I know just how you feel and how you feel is how you feel and there is no right or wrong about it. We all have days of feeling that life is one long struggle and I think that sometimes we need to look back and see how far we have come and how well we have coped with difficult circumstances. So I am saying it for you......you have done very well to pay off so much money. Life does not stay still even tho it can feel like we are stumbling along in a pit of glue (well that's how I feel somedays!). It can be hard when friends have much more materially than you, I know I am dreading a night out with some ex work colleages but keep telling myself I deserve a night out after 3 months of staying in and also I am being invited because they like me for myself and not for what I (do not) earn and own. Good luck and hope the moan helped you feel a bit better

pinksherbet_2

Thanks for your responses, you always make me feel so much better.

I think having friends who are pretty well off doesn't help and makes me feel even more worthless... One of our friends said at the weekend he had made more money investing than he did in his wages this year and he earns £60K! Tch, like I'm interested

I just feel really vulnerable and insecure today so I'm going for a swim to lift my spirits a bit..

Thanks again!!

x

gogetum

Just looked at this in passing........

All i can say is WELL DONE YOU for all so far....

If all they have to lord about is their wealth then steer clear! I bet it isnt that rosey! IMO, those that blag about £ often are going through the mill.

The only place to invest right now is in ones self!

dors1

Just wanted to say Hi and well done for what you've achieved so far....I know how you feel...I see it around me too and I was thinking along similar lines at the weekend but you should be really proud of what you've achieved and more than most you've faced up to what many choose not to face so good on you:T

Butti

God Pink, that is amazing.
You have halved your debt in 3 years.....YOU HAVE HALVED YOUR DEBT IN 3 YEARS.

most of out friends are loaded, live in big houses, holiday 3 times a year and talk about investment opportunities etc..

My cousin got married 8 years ago to a merchant banker. I didn't go to the wedding as it was the fifth in one year and in Canada and very expensive and very showy. My brother and his partner sat at a table with a load of bankers all going on about what property they had bought with their bonus's. He went to a penny wedding about two months later which he much more enjoyed. By the way they are now divorcing but she is holding out so that she doesn't have to sell until the property prices rise.

It's all so false, no irrelevent, so unsatisfying.
Surround yourself with good friends who like you for you, who you can support and who will support you. A bit like the lot on here really!

....and remember YOU HAVE HALVED YOUR DEBT IN 3 YEARS.
That's bloody amazing

B x

Nosrrud

Nice one Pink :-)

Just like lucifa said "you have only half the debt you had when you started" - That's ace!

I was thinking about my pal's spending the other day as he invited me to yet another night out (That I always have to turn down as I can't afford it) - I think to myself how smart I am for getting the best reward for the least cost (an unofficial motto of the MSE community I think)...

I enjoy music (a lot) and at least once a week, I pamper myself by first getting all the housework done (that ain't the reward lol) then relaxing with a bottle of red and exploring my collection loud on my speakers and get really into it..

What ever your 'thing' is, set a bit of time aside to explore it one evening and sink into it.. be it, 5 albums and a bottle of red or 2 chick flicks and hot chocolate.. treat yourself which what *you* love and forget your pal's one evening.. it's good to be you :-)

curlygirl1971

Just browsing and came across your post.

I think you and your story are totally amazing and I hope you are very proud of your achievements. I can't advise you on what to do next but you should keep focussed on your debt free goal - you've already achieved 50%!! I know you have had to reduce your payments but life is full of change and there could be a point in the future when you are able to step them up again. This is not the end - it's just a stage you have to adjust to for a while.

I have a couple of friends that earn £80-100k and I'm honest with them about what I can afford. One of them especially is very unhappy and their personal life is a disaster because they always want bigger/better.

Very best of luck and please let us know how you get on

curlygirl1971

Ps. I went for a swim too today - and it did the trick and made me feel so much better!

pinksherbet_2

Again thankyou sooo much for your responses they have definitely lifted my spirits..

I was upstairs there trying to sort out a whole load of paperwork I'd kind of neglected. I came across some old statements and it made me realise I've been doing pretty well even though at times it doesn't feel like it. So yes you're right Butti halfing them in 3 years is quite good..

I loved your quote gogetum, "invest in yourself", love it..thankyou!

I know money doesn't make you happy, but it's certainly one less thing to worry about if you do have it. The guy who has made a fortune in investments is on to his 6th girlfriend and we have only known him for about 6 years. So yes Butti, your cousins wedding and the fact it hasn't lasted is really no surprise. I had a rich b/f for a number of years, he bought me cars, diamonds etc....and do you know what - he was cheating on me at any given opportunity....:mad: and he still at it with his new G/F grr..

Anyway, I'm feeling a bit more positive tonight, last night was bloody awful i was having major panic attacks.. I think my swim helped and the wee dram of whisky I had before dinner (it's medicinal :rotfl:), only the one but it was lovely :beer:

thanks again!!!!