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Why should I pay all the mortgage when he's living there? Help!

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Comments

  • Jowo_2
    Jowo_2 Posts: 8,308 Forumite
    The central part of the issue is a civil matter - ultimately its about a failure to honour a contract the terms of a contract and financial commitment by one party.

    Shelter offer free expert advice to tenants and homeowners. See their advice on how to handle mortgage arrears and relationship breakdowns, including how to apply for an occupation order, a court order (adjustement order), their section on options for homeowners. Get an appointment with a local branch or speak them by phone.

    http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/repossession/mortgage_arrears
    http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/families_and_relationships/relationship_breakdown
    http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/families_and_relationships/relationship_breakdown/options_for_homeowners
    http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/families_and_relationships/domestic_violence/taking_legal_action
  • DVardysShadow
    DVardysShadow Posts: 18,949 Forumite
    Voyager2002 wrote: »
    Yes #7, but sadly marriage does nothing to guarantee that people will behave decently towards each other.
    Exactly right, but it is putting the cart before the horse. People should be sure that the prospective partner will behave decently before getting married.
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  • silvercar
    silvercar Posts: 49,120 Ambassador
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Academoney Grad Name Dropper
    DVardysShadow wrote: »
    Exactly right, but it is putting the cart before the horse. People should be sure that the prospective partner will behave decently before getting married.

    People change.
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  • DVardysShadow
    DVardysShadow Posts: 18,949 Forumite
    theartfullodger wrote: »
    ... Some years ago (when going through the 1st divorce..) I realised I should not confuse the law with justice...
    :eek: Having learned this, were your subsequent divorces motivated by the desire to acquire further wisdom? [Feel free to tell me I have stepped out of line!]
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  • Harry_Powell
    Harry_Powell Posts: 2,089 Forumite
    DVardysShadow wrote: »
    Exactly right, but it is putting the cart before the horse. People should be sure that the prospective partner will behave decently before getting married.

    Yes, clearly the OP is at fault here for not being able to see into the future. :rolleyes:

    I'd do as some others have advised and let the house be reposessed, inform the mortgage lender of the situation so that they move things along quicker and save up like heck to cover any shortfall.
    "I can hear you whisperin', children, so I know you're down there. I can feel myself gettin' awful mad. I'm out of patience, children. I'm coming to find you now." - Harry Powell, Night of the Hunter, 1955.
  • DVardysShadow
    DVardysShadow Posts: 18,949 Forumite
    silvercar wrote: »
    .... IMHO you would be better off putting money aside to clear shortfall in the future than paying the mortgage payments while he is living there. Otherwise you won't see and end to this. Whatever option you take, you want one that resolves the issues and financially separates the two of you. Continueing with a joint mortgage doesn't sever the link. For that reason, letting the property with his name still on the mortgage is not a good idea.
    Basically agree, but if the equity position is poor it may be wise to consider keeping the mortgage paid up until OP is certain that she can clear the aftermath of a repo without going bankrupt.
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  • poppysarah
    poppysarah Posts: 11,522 Forumite
    silvercar wrote: »
    People change.

    Normally becoming more intolerant of bad habits, rather than the bad habits getting worse.
  • DVardysShadow
    DVardysShadow Posts: 18,949 Forumite
    Harry_Powell wrote: »
    Yes, clearly the OP is at fault here for not being able to see into the future. :rolleyes:.
    That is your interpretation. Personally, I just see it as a reminder to keep the bar set quite high for entry into a marriage or property relationship
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  • pimento
    pimento Posts: 6,243 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts
    What a prize this guy is. Better you found out before marriage.
    "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." -- Red Adair
  • theartfullodger
    theartfullodger Posts: 15,562 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Having learned this, were your subsequent divorces motivated by the desire to acquire further wisdom? [Feel free to tell me I have stepped out of line
    !]

    Nah (only one more divorce), and no, feel free to say what you will! We do have free speech in this country...

    Cheers!

    Lodger
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