Why should I pay all the mortgage when he's living there? Help!

EmeraldDavies

In September 2006 me and my ex-boyfriend entered into a jointly and severally liable mortgage on a flat that we proceeded to live in for the following two and a half years. Unfortunately in June 2008 our relationship came to a close with a bang when after a series of violent incidents he threw me out of the flat with none of my possessions.
Although I have contacted the police for help several times they have advised me that there is nothing they can do as I am not in any risk living with my parents and it is now a civil matter. Solicitors have been equally unhelpful and incredibly expensive.
Since then he has lived in the property and paid the mortgage for the most part, I have no access to the property and have only been inside the flat once in the last year when I had to be escorted by the police. But he hasn’t paid August and Octobers mortgage payment and has advised that he wont be going to in the future.
He ignores my emails, and it took 6months for him to allow the property to go up for sale. He is now refusing to pay the mortgage and refusing to move out. I want to rent the property out until it is sold, but he wants to live in the property with me paying the mortgage.
I am training to be a qualified accountant, so if the house is repossessed and I am made bankrupt I will not be able to become qualified. He knows this and is using it against me. If he cant pay the mortgage I am willing to foot the bill for renting the property out and will assume responsibility for the flat to stop it becoming repossessed but how can I get him to move out and cooperate?!?

jeggburt

If the situation is a bad as it sounds, then you should probably look to sell the property and give yourself a chance at a new life with your career. Especially with the route that you're going down, bankruptcy is not an option.

edgex

so for over a year, 15 months, this has been happening

did you not contact the mortgage provider back in June 2008?
you really do need to contact them & tell them what is happening, & what has been happening.
youll have to come to some agreement with them, which is likely to mean the sale of the flat, as they will have based the lending on both incomes, not 1, & not on it being a BTL flat.
they would probably also want him to be out, as a vacant property is going to be easier & quicker to sell.

DVardysShadow

It's only money. You need to price up whatever legal action is required to get vacant possession vs the cost of buying his exit.

Also are you sure that a repo will make you bankrupt? Personally, I think I would be exploring saving up hard, until I was sure that if I stopped paying the mortgage, I could clear any fees and shortfall resulting from the repo and just let it go to repo.

Somerset

It sounds like an awful situation. I can only think of negatives not positives.

You say the property is up for sale - what happens if the ex sabotages any sale ? doesn't co-operate with e.a., is difficult with viewings, lives like a pig etc.

What happens if the ex won't sign the sale documents ?

The lender won't release you re the mortage, why would they ?

Is the ex looking for/blackmailing you into a pay-off ?

Sounds like the ex is playing you and will drag it out as long as possible, as you said, knowing you have to be financially clean. Only thing I can think to resolve it would be the legal route, but yes that will be expensive and long drawn-out. Pity you haven't any any unscrupulous large friends who would stick their oar in completely without your knowledge or consent.

poppysarah

Bluff. Tell him you're prepared for you both to go bankrupt just to get him out of your life.

Richard_Webster

This really sad and there doesn't seem to be any way out other than quite expensive court proceedings to force a sale.

I know this is hindsight and nobody can know what will happen in the future and people can change from the way they seemed to a totally different character, but in my old fashioned way I think that buying a property together when a couple have not made the commitment of marriage is fraught with dangers.

Marriages fail, but before entering into a marriage I hope people think long and hard about whether they want to be committed to the other person and how far they trust him or her. Really the virtually the same level of commitment is required for a couple buying a property together because cases like this can occur.

I don't know the personal circumstances of OP or anything about her relationship with her ex-boyfriend so what I say may not be appropraite for them, but isn't it a general point that individuals going into relationships and buying property together need to weigh up how far they trust each other and whether they want to be reliant on the other in the way that OP is here.

Voyager2002

Yes #7, but sadly marriage does nothing to guarantee that people will behave decently towards each other.

OP, you clearly need proper professional advice. Ask your employer if they could perhaps give you a little time with their own solicitor. See if your home insurance and/or your union membership gives any sort of legal assistance. And make sure that your mortgage lender is aware of the situation, and see if they can suggest anything helpful.

silvercar

Some options:

a) Keep the lender in the picture. Tell them you have moved out and you want the property voluntary repo'd. That way they will take action sooner rather than later, lenders often move slowly on arrears as they home you will sort the payments out, knowing the situation may mean they act quicker. In the mean time save up, living at home should enable you to do this. When the house has been repo's and sold hopefully your savings will be enough to make an acceptable full and final payment regarding any shortfall. A repo won't look good on your credit rating, but it doesn't automatically lead to bankruptcy, so your career should be safe.

b) Go to court with a good solicitor. Get the court to order that either he takes on the mortgage/ remortgages/ moves out and the property is sold. As he is being difficult try and get a court order that includes dropping the price by XX each month until the property is sold.

c) Get some heavies, remove him from the property. Move back in and change the locks. Get a court order preventing him going within half a mile of the property. Then sell up.

IMHO you would be better off putting money aside to clear shortfall in the future than paying the mortgage payments while he is living there. Otherwise you won't see and end to this. Whatever option you take, you want one that resolves the issues and financially separates the two of you. Continueing with a joint mortgage doesn't sever the link. For that reason, letting the property with his name still on the mortgage is not a good idea.

theartfullodger

You ask...

Why should I pay all the mortgage when he's living there?

You also state

In September 2006 me and my ex-boyfriend entered into a jointly and severally liable mortgage

Have you not answered your own question??

It ain't fair, it ain't right, but it is the legal position that you remain liable. Some years ago (when going through the 1st divorce..) I realised I should not confuse the law with justice...

Cheers!

Lodger

LandyAndy

Voyager2002 wrote: »

Yes #7, but sadly marriage does nothing to guarantee that people will behave decently towards each other.

OP, you clearly need proper professional advice. Ask your employer if they could perhaps give you a little time with their own solicitor. See if your home insurance and/or your union membership gives any sort of legal assistance. And make sure that your mortgage lender is aware of the situation, and see if they can suggest anything helpful.

No, of course not, but buying property together is much nearer the commitment of marriage than the commitment of buying, say, a car jointly. I don't think a lot of people think about this enough.