hubby walked out after 20 years!!

nextyeartina

hi

I met my hubby 20 years ago but we've only been married for 5 years. we have 3 fab kids - 16, 7 & 4. on friday night he told me he didn't love me anymore and left. i'm in total shock. i've been in touch with tax credits and done a rent/ct calculation. he's told me he will give me money for the kids each pay day. at least i can continue with work and not worry about money. i just don't know what to do. i even asked him to stay for the kids but he still said no because it meant being with me. i know now it would have been a bad idea if he had said yes. i just feel so alone. i don't speak to any of my family plus they all live in ireland anyway. i have a few good friends who i know will support me. i'm just devasted, shocked and feel so alone.

tina x

nextyeartina

i just can't understand how he can just walk out on 20 years. i can't get my head around it.

RabbitintheHeadlights

Hi Tina, I didn't want to read and run. I can only imagine what you must be going through but you have my sympathies. It sounds like a complete bolt from the blue for you. Is it worth ringing one of your friends and inviting them around to share a bottle of wine? Has he spoken to the kids at all? Suzy

nextyeartina

hi

he actually told me to tell the kids when he'd gone. i told him he was a coward. he had them while i went to work yesterday. he's supposed to be having them tomorrow while i'm at work but i've been given compassionate leave. my youngest had me in tears this morning when she asked me where her dad was. i told her he's living with nana & grandpop. she said but he lives here with me 8(

tina x

*Louise*

So sorry to hear about your situation. I think it's probably best to break it to the kids sooner rather than later.

It does sound like the situation is going to be amicable, I can just understand what a shock it must be for you. It will take time, but it won't always hurt this much.

(((((hugs)))))

Mely

Tina im so sorry for whats happened. I want to send you a big ((((hug))))
Mel xxXxx

lolababy

Hi could it be that he is having a mid life crisis. Not that it makes it any better, but lots of men do. It may be that he needs space to think about what he really wants.

Id suggest that you get as much support from your friends as you can .Try not to be on your own or you will feel more down than you are already.

I bet that as soon as you get on with your life he will want you back. Then the ball will be in your court.

Take care.

nextyeartina

thanx for the replies

i keep having high and low moments which is to be expected. i've been trying to keep myself busy. when i stop my mind just goes all over the place and i hurt. i know this will pass. if only someone could tell you when then it would be easier to cope with... lol. again, thanx

tina x

tw1nklestar

didnt want to read and run Tina but for support there is a brilliant thread on money saving arms about how a lady called kizzy survived and moved on a shock break up like yours. They are a really supportive thread and if u have a chance to read through the whole thread you will see that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

tw1nklestar

sorry forgot to say the thread is called Back on the Market! Part 1

Pssst

lolababy wrote: »

Hi could it be that he is having a mid life crisis. Not that it makes it any better, but lots of men do. It may be that he needs space to think about what he really wants.

Id suggest that you get as much support from your friends as you can .Try not to be on your own or you will feel more down than you are already.

I bet that as soon as you get on with your life he will want you back. Then the ball will be in your court.

Take care.

If men had conversations about women having "mid life" crisis then it might be thought of as demeaning and insulting.

He might just want some space...or he has being having a secret affair.