Give up job to become SAHM/Housewife??

BubbleO

First post and feel like I am about to jump of a cliff with no rope!

Quick background info.:
Mid 30's
Married to wonderful DH for 10 years
One beautiful DD aged 5
Good job in Investment Management
Nice house, 2 card, holidays etc etc

BUT can't stop wondering what it's all about and long to be a SAHM/Housewife.

Didn't rush back to work after DD was born, enjoyed my year off but also liked being back in the workplace after this time. Life however since then can only be described as hectic! Week days are rushing to school breakfast club then off on the train, work all day so I can leave by 5, home to dinner, chores etc. Just feel like there's never enough time to play with DD and actually have fun, quality time.

I more than realise there are so many working parents in the same situation and also how lucky I am in so may ways but it doesn't stop me thinking about having a complete change of lifestyle. After weeks of reading people's diaries I've picked up lots of ideas and have put together a 'dreamworld' budge which means we cope cope on DH's salary alone, spending and mindset would need to change pretty radically though.

What I wondering though is whether I'm so selfish to expect DH to keep working, is this the most stupid time ever to think about giving up a job and generally interested in whether other people have made this jump and how it's worked out for them and their families.

Sorry to go on for so long but thanks for reading! BubbleO

jenhug

Your child is a child for such a short space of time if you can afford it I would say go for it.

If a little further down the line you decide its not for you then you can find part time work or maybe take up your old career?

Would your company let you take a few months off unpaid to see how it works out?

BubbleO

Don't think that would be an option I'm afraid. Have a very good manager but work for a large American company and they don't tend to be very in favour of family friendly policies. Asked to go part time last year - just drop half a day each week on a trial period but was not received favourably and reduction in hours was turned down. Job is considered to be 'customer facing' so I have to be around to cover phones during business hours etc.

jenhug

You have the right to request flexible working by law, this is if you have a child under the age of 6 or care for someone with a disability. I used this to my advantage by going term time only. They need a very good reason to say "No". I would suggest you join a union and give it a go!

Curlywurli

Yes you can ask for flexible working hours, but they can actually say no if they have a good enough reason, i.e. the job can't possibly be done in a certain amount of hours. Big companies can make life very hard at times.

I work part time, because we can't afford for me to give up my job completely. We make sacrifices in order for me to spend time with the little ones. If I could afford to become a SAHM then I would. Could you consider changing job and going part time?

BubbleO

Thanks Jenhug, union isn't an option in this industry I'm afraid.

Did lots of research before making my part time application but unfortunately the reasons given by the company for not granting my request are 'legally' valid I think. I could have appealed but by manager was pretty bluntand kindly told me that this really wasn't a time to be kicking up a fuss, people loosing their jobs in the financial world everyday so I understood this point really.

In my present role it's all or nothing in terms of hours. I do far less hours in the office than anyone else, although I would argue that I am just as productive but do have to put up with the occasional 'good night part timer' comments when I run out the door at 5!

the_other_mce

TBH now that your child is 5 years old you've pretty much passed the 'best' of the SAHM years. It's really rewarding being at home until your childstarts school - you build up such a good relationship and that is worth so much more than money (in my book anyway). Your DD must be at school now which means that you'll not be spending much more quality time with her - you'll only be spending more time alone with your house! Try to cut your hours/find a job that fts in with school time/term time or just get on with work now (and reap the rewards!)....unless of course you would like to have another child....

Caroline73_2

I gave up work and started my own part time business. Love it!

I'm never having a proper job ever again!

BubbleO

Yes, she has been at school since last September so I take your point about having less time with her anyway. I just never get to drop her off or pick her up at normal times. We don't get time to come home and make the most of a few hours together before the bedtime routine starts. At 5 I don't think she's too young to want to be with me. I'm also starting to get lots of comments like 'Mummy I miss you when you are at work' which really get to me as you can imagine.

I've been scanning a few local agency websites and those for the local councils but the only part time jobs seem to be Teaching Assistants. I'm sure there are hundreds of parents fighting for these jobs right now but what kind of experience do schools look for when recruiting these roles? Apart from retail are there any other roles/companies that anyone can recommend in respect of part time/term time work? Have looked at the working mum websites and most of the roles posted there are sales related - Franchise/Home Parties etc. Not really up my street if I'm honest.

Having another baby is on my mind as well, not sure if I would want to repeat the same childcare arrangements as I did with DD. I never had any bad experiences, completely the opposite and I'm sure she has turned into the confident happy child if generally is as a result.

jenhug

you could look at retraining as something else later or do supermarket work (that is what I do, its very easy)

skintchick

How does your OH feel about it?