sorting my absolute mess of a life out dairy

skint,single_mum_of_4

Well after reading so many diaries on here ive decided to start my own.

I don't really know where to start so abit about me 1st !

I'm 41,single and have 4 kids aged between 12-22 all living at home.I was married to my violent/controlling abuser for 12yrs,finally left with (with help from the police after he came home one night and beat my eldest daughter up who was trying to protect me) while i lived with him i managed to lose nearly all my self confidence,put on 4 stone (comfort eating & drinking) and lost most of my friends(because i wasn't allowed any).ive got no family around me.
i work 20 hrs a week and live in a privately rented house.
Well 3yrs on i'm still on my own with my kids i'm happy i'm not with him anymore but its been such a struggle for me and its finally all caught up with me !
I find myself depressed,over weight,i smoke (but do keep trying to give up) i spend my time wasting money on internet bingo sites(get lonely when kids arn'nt about),ive let the house go and i'm surrounded by clutter,i binge drink every now and again(to drown things out) ive let my appearance go and i'm in about 18,000 of debt(this is what i racked up when i left my ex)
so that's me,what a catch lol !

As from tomorrow i want to ...

Give up smoking
walk each day (to help with depression & weight loss)
go on a diet(lost 2 stone in 3yrs,2 more to go)
stop wasting money on bingo
start do do a bit of housework each day
declutter and start selling stuff
save money so if anything happens to my car etc i can pay for it
start cooking properly and only spending £50 a week on food
sort my steptoes yard of a garden out(it depresses me just looking at it)
start taking pride in my appearance again
do more with kids
Tackle debts(already started this,on DMP)

I know i won't accomplice everything and i will have my ups and downs
but wish me look

TIME TO SORT MY LIFE OUT !

skint,single_mum_of_4

Oh also forgot to say i am finally recieving counciling to help with my deppression which was mostly caused by my ex and abuse i suffered as a child .Don't want antidepressants as i don't like the side effects etc and need to sort this out by myself

Lurker1972

With the support from everyone on these forums I'm sure you will achieve everything you set out to do

Theres some major goals on there, writing down your progress is a great way to remind yourself during the down times how far you've come

I wish you all the luck in the world with your challenges - can't really offer advice, am too much of a noob for that

keep smiling

mumoffour77

Good Luck:D

You have made the hardest step of all by posting!!!

Smoking........go to your Dr and see if he will prescribe patches,gum and or tablets:)
its really hard to do........but there are loads of people here to help you!!

skint,single_mum_of_4

Lurker1972 wrote: »

With the support from everyone on these forums I'm sure you will achieve everything you set out to do

Theres some major goals on there, writing down your progress is a great way to remind yourself during the down times how far you've come

I wish you all the luck in the world with your challenges - can't really offer advice, am too much of a noob for that

keep smiling

Thankyou
thats what i thought,if i write stuff down and look at it each day i'm sure it will help me,i have got alot of goals but there all kinda interlinked so need to tackle them altogether i think x

skint,single_mum_of_4

mumoffour77 wrote: »

Good Luck:D

You have made the hardest step of all by posting!!!

Smoking........go to your Dr and see if he will prescribe patches,gum and or tablets:)
its really hard to do........but there are loads of people here to help you!!

ive tried patches etc but they don't agreee with me,i did give up for 2 months but started again recently,i think my walking will also help me with this

Wordsmith

Good luck! You can do it. Every time you feel a bit wobbly, post here - there will always be someone to lend an ear if that's what you want, or to offer advice if you need it. You have made a wonderful start by listing the changes you want to make. Are your family going to be supportive of these changes? Oh, and you can accomplish everything you want - just don't try to do too much at once. You might find it helpful to join some of the challenges on these boards. All the best.

skint,single_mum_of_4

Wordsmith wrote: »

Good luck! You can do it. Every time you feel a bit wobbly, post here - there will always be someone to lend an ear if that's what you want, or to offer advice if you need it. You have made a wonderful start by listing the changes you want to make. Are your family going to be supportive of these changes? Oh, and you can accomplish everything you want - just don't try to do too much at once. You might find it helpful to join some of the challenges on these boards. All the best.

lol i did spell "accomplish" wrong, just noticed !

Ive got no family around me there all up North and not really got friends as such well not the type you'd confide in,there more people i just know.This is the reason for starting this dairy too as ive not really got much support around me.Kids are great but i don't want to burden them with all this,just want them to reap the rewards if u know what i mean.

skint,single_mum_of_4

I know ive painted a right picture of myself,there is some good points too.I'm attractive,have got a great sense of humour and my kids think the world of me !...well afew good points lol

skint,single_mum_of_4

I actually started last night with my mission to cook proper food.I made cornbeef stew it only cost £4.35 for the whole lot,it would of been even cheaper but i bought packs of veg not singles so enough for another stew just need the meat.We all wolfed it down and my daughter took some to work today and theres enough for another meal or two.
I read the old style threads and i honestly cant believe how cheap they make there meals for.i was goin to make beef stew yesterday but the cheapest was £3.50 for just a tiny pack !
My plan is to make more slow cooker meals as we never sit together to eat,my eldest daughter does'nt get in untill 8pm from work and my two sons come straight in from school have a snack rest for half an hour then there out for the night,non of my kids are in door kids.The only day really we have a meal together is a Sunday,it was different when they were younger you could make em come in but now they have there own lives lol

Smoked the last of my cigs last night so i would'nt have any when i woke up,another reason i want to give up is that my 16yr old has taken up the habit,i hate seein him smoke so i need to give up else i'm a hyporcrite for tellin him off.He's been up coughin all night but is scared to go to the doctors(always has been) so gonna ring them today and get doc to ring me back(there great at my doctors) and try and get some antibiotics for him,he's had the cough for few weeks now and its getting worse

skint,single_mum_of_4

not had a cig all day
and tonight i'm cooking a roast,got joint half price !

took my lad to doctors,they've given him an inhaler and some nicorette gum
just washing my other son's clothes for tommorow he's goin to a funeral,his mate died in a car crash.He's goin with some other mates,he's not been to a funeral before.
Not done much housework as ive been working hard today dnd shattered but have give kitchen a good clean x