Bankruptcy & Maintenance

aproblemshared

chelseabun wrote: »

Could you stop paying and let her take it back to court? Yes he can but he may get caught for her solicitors costs again! I admit I have no legal knowledge in these kinds of things, but I really don't understand how your OH can be expected to pay her that much money forever! Neither do I and if he is bankrupt this will obviously affect his income. Surely there must be a cut off point? Until one of them dies. Or does he have to support her forever?? Even when the kids have left the childhood home for good? Why does he have to support her? Because she lied about everything when it went to court but the judge believed her, how can you say your father brings you food packages so you can eat and next minute say you pay your father £10 to do the gardening and £25 per week for babysitting while she worked her evening shifts. Court believed her crap and hubby got stitched up.

Sorry for all the questions, I'm just a bit shocked. I'm sure there are good reasons for some of these court orders, I just can't think of any! If you lie you seem to do betther than if you are open and honest, we have paid her at this level for 10 years and the courts thought it was affordable if you do the maths its simple 10 years at 1000 a month is 120,000 guess how much hubbies total debt is?? But the judge thought it was affordable!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

skylight

I guess it depends on the actual wording of the court order. I personally would stop paying her and tell her to bog off now the kids are old enough. Especially the 22yo (who I assume is the working one??). I can understand why your OH would want to help support his other son through uni, but if he was not comfortable with stopping paying, then perhaps cut the amount to half (half each son....) and allow the ex to finance taking your OH to court, where a judge is unlikely to allow continued payments from a bankrupt of that amount. It would be nice to allow the ex 30 days notice of the reduced payments though. Let her scream all she likes, but it will reflect better upon you if you put it in writing (should she insist on taking it back to court - and with the income she has, it will cost her.)

But, it all depends on the wording of what OH agreed to at the original court order. I cannot believe a court would allow a maintainence order to continue without some indication of when the end would be.

I know that CSA arrears are never included in BR, but what about maintainence from a court order?? Will have to check that one.

And his share in the property? Ooo-er. For that amount I can see the OR either making her pay that (or a good large % of) to buy him out, or will force a sale......

chelseabun_3

I think she deserves her !!!!!! Christmas!

Really hope it works out for you, problemshared. Serves her right if they force a sale. Take care! CBx

aproblemshared

I will let you know, we are waiting for a reply to our letter letting her that her maintenance has stopped we have also informed the court that we can no longer afford to pay.

Bankruptcy papers will be filed next week.

skylight

Best of luck with it all. The problem with courts is they don't follow fairness - its either right or wrong (which in itself is a good thing, but not when its unfair to you!).

Out of curiosity, what do his older kids think of the arrangement? And do they actually see any money??? (HAHA!!!)

aproblemshared

Don't know they don't speak to their father she has alienated them from him. I don't suppose for one minute they get a penny of the money.

chelseabun_3

That's so sad. My OH doesn't see much of his two either, because Ex Witch is so difficult to deal with. Hopefully they'll come round eventually. Really feel for you both. CBx

tommo20

Check this out: http://www.divorce-online.co.uk/community/topic.asp?ID=8Hi,


You can't pay (even by court order) if you can't afford it??.
You have paid a lot of money for a long time. The courts will look upon a change of circumstances on it's merit. It looks like you have already contacted the courts and that is the best thing you could have done.
You may not have to actually 'go to court' as variations to court orders are usually done by admin staff and examined and 'rubber stamped' by the clerk or a Judge. The ex can obviously object but she can't get blood out of a stone and if you have the financial evidence to prove you can't pay then that's it. Her lies will not do her any good now as a different criteria will apply. You have paid your dues and she (I hate this woman already and I don't even know her) may well be called upon to justify her demands and asked why she is pursuing you for money she knows you don't have.
Spousal maintenance unlike child maintenance can be decreased due a change in her circumstances as well as yours and now she can't use the children as ammunition she will have to work a lot harder to get to keep the order as it is ....
Good luck.............fingers crossed.

By the way if you just stop paying her you will be in breach of the court order until a variation is made.......your decision.