Can I consolidate debts of husband if he is unable by using power of attorney?

purplefiona

Ok he's got a lot of credit cards, all cut up and not in use, but he doesn't pay them off, each month the charges and interest pile up, he is mentally incapable (trust me on this) of speaking about it let alone dealing with it. Every time the collections dept of each one call up his Mum answers the phone for him and pays a bit of it off. Trouble is, this is a huge waste of money. And I'm about to marry him, it will soon be my job to do that. I break out into a sweat thinking about the £100s that goes down the drain each year in late payment charges alone and here we are trying to save for our wedding.

If I get power of attorney to deal with his finances, as he is genuinely incapable, could I got to the CCCS and make a ten year plan on his behalf and fix this without wasting money, and also perhaps claim back the charges?

How hard is it and how much £ to fill in/get a power of attorney and will I still have to put him on the phone when they call, becasue if I do it will be pointless doing it.

Two things:
1. I don't know how much debt is there and his mum won't tell me but its a BIG ring binder of bills and I've seen at least three different credit card bills on the mat
2. We are not actually married yet
3. I have (albeit 0 percent in the main) cards of my own which I'm paying off though I'm not in crisis or ignoring it
4. He is extremely upset and that makes me upset and I was late for work waiting for him to stop crying, thats how bad it is.

Really need some help here.

summermummy

My husband has used power of attorney with his clients - he works in the property business. I think you need to speak to a solicitor and then have frank chat with your hubbie and let him know how much this is hurting you. Some people are better than others at organising things but sometimes doing for someone else just disempowers them. Your hubbie may have got used to having things done for him as you say his mother picks up the phone and pays his bills. You say he is genuinely incapable so I think a solicitor may listen to your request for power of attorney.

peb

Ok - Powers of Attorney can only be used when someone is mentally capable; they are usually used if the grantor is on holiday or in a home so that someone can deal with their affairs. You keep saying your husband is incapable; do you mean that or do you mean he doesn't want to deal with these affairs? If he is incapable he cannot have a power, if he is cabable but has his head in teh sand theoretically you can act as his attorney. It certainly may be easier to deal with his day to day finances. BUT - do you want that; do you want to treat him as a chils so far as his finances are concerned?

Theoretically it is legally possible to sign even a Mortgage Deed under a power (I was appalled to find this out) but most lenders will not accept it. So if you are planning on taking out loans in his name it is unlikley to happen.

HTH

purplefiona

peb wrote: »

Ok - Powers of Attorney can only be used when someone is mentally capable; they are usually used if the grantor is on holiday or in a home so that someone can deal with their affairs. You keep saying your husband is incapable; do you mean that or do you mean he doesn't want to deal with these affairs? If he is incapable he cannot have a power, if he is cabable but has his head in teh sand theoretically you can act as his attorney. It certainly may be easier to deal with his day to day finances. BUT - do you want that; do you want to treat him as a chils so far as his finances are concerned?

Theoretically it is legally possible to sign even a Mortgage Deed under a power (I was appalled to find this out) but most lenders will not accept it. So if you are planning on taking out loans in his name it is unlikley to happen.

HTH

Thanks!
No he's not mentally incapable as such, just incapable of talking about finances or dealing with it- he literally has a phobia. I suppose with power of attorney I could always ask one of the credit cards to consolidate the money on the rest of them, that might work. Specially if he has not used them for months, they may even offer a 0 percent deal who knows.
I can't see how to avoid treating him like a child on this one, I'm sure he doens't want to be treated as such but how else can I save money that is ultimately our money, from going down the drain.
I guess I could just forget it and let it drag on- stick my head in the sand next to his- but since dealing with my own debt problems that is not my style anymore.

tyllwyd

I don't think you can set up a power of attorney for him over his affairs without his agreement. He has to be the one giving you power to deal with his affairs, you can't just take it.

I've never tried it, but I could imagine that the financial institutions would be quite fussy about it, expecially if he is at an age where he would be expected to be dealing with his own affairs and you aren't even married, so you'd have to have all the right documentation.

If things are that bad, maybe you need to persuade him to get some counselling or something - if he is going to spend money, he needs to be able to handle talking about it, or how is he going to ever cope?

tallyhoh

PLEASE dont marry him till its sorted:eek: He wont change overnight if you do marry & you will be sick to the back teeth within a year, trust me.

localhero

If he has mental capacity and agrees, then it would make sense for him to make a Lasting Power of Attorney.

They can be quite expensive to arrange, but it is theoretically possible to download the forms and do it yourself.

Before you can use it however, you will need to pay a fee of £150 to register it with the Office of the Public Guardian.

purplefiona

tyllwyd wrote: »

I don't think you can set up a power of attorney for him over his affairs without his agreement. He has to be the one giving you power to deal with his affairs, you can't just take it.

I've never tried it, but I could imagine that the financial institutions would be quite fussy about it, expecially if he is at an age where he would be expected to be dealing with his own affairs and you aren't even married, so you'd have to have all the right documentation.

If things are that bad, maybe you need to persuade him to get some counselling or something - if he is going to spend money, he needs to be able to handle talking about it, or how is he going to ever cope?

I am assuming that I will be able to get him to agree, yes. He has been waiting several years for treatment, yes. I waited 5 years for open ended psychotherapy, and have been in it for two. He has been waiting longer and has not started yet. A doctors letter may do the trick I guess.

purplefiona

tallyhoh wrote: »

PLEASE dont marry him till its sorted:eek: He wont change overnight if you do marry & you will be sick to the back teeth within a year, trust me.

it will be sorted before that.... promise

purplefiona

localhero wrote: »

If he has mental capacity and agrees, then it would make sense for him to make a Lasting Power of Attorney.

They can be quite expensive to arrange, but it is theoretically possible to download the forms and do it yourself.

Before you can use it however, you will need to pay a fee of £150 to register it with the Office of the Public Guardian.

uh oh. how expensive is expensive?

gettingbetter

Hi Purplefiona

i have power of attorney for my mil financial affairs, yes she did have to agree to give me the power (luckily we did it years ago before she totally lost her marbles) am not being unkind there but telling the truth. It is a big decision as you are then liable for everything. I had to make all her bill payments and if anything was missed it was me who was responsible.
We had to sell her house as she was no lomger able to look after herself this was done to pay for the care home. That was all on my shoulders, it was like taking on her identity. If you do go for p.o.a when the baliffs come round (not saying they will) they will look to you.

I am not very good with words and have tried to lay it on the line feel free to pm me if you need anymore info

kas