Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@. Skimlinks & other affiliated links are turned on

    • Puffinmonkey
    • By Puffinmonkey 4th Mar 18, 8:52 PM
    • 15Posts
    • 7Thanks
    Getting money back I lent ex boyfriend
    • #1
    • 4th Mar 18, 8:52 PM
    Getting money back I lent ex boyfriend 4th Mar 18 at 8:52 PM
    I'm sorry if this is in the wrong place. Not sure where it should go. I have foolishly lent my ex boyfriend a total of £7390 over the time we were together roughly a year and 4 months. He was struggling and needed a van for work then it broke and he needed money to fix it. I lent him rent money too plus lots of other things. I have it all written down and most of it will be logged as bank transfers/ transactions. I also have all text messages between us relating to the borrowings. Basically I was foolish and will never lend anyone money again. He agree's to pay me back but he can only manage about £60 a month and it's going to take years not to mention the fact that It makes it very difficult to move on. I am also aware that if for any reason he is unlucky enough to die, I will not get my money back. I am single with 2 young children. At the moment I clean/ waitress and am dinner lady at my childrens school. I get by and do not have any debts but I would like my money back. What on earth can I do to protect myself. I have suggested he find a way to pay me back sooner and he is looking in to it. I know he has every intention of paying me back and does not deny he owes me. I was thinking I could suggest to him to get a loan or a credit card with a money transfer option but as he hasn't had loans before I think he would struggle to get anything. I know there would be fees and interest but I would suggest to him that he needs to deal with that and its not my problem. He is in full time work and renting his own place. I believe his salary is about 18,500. Believe it or not we are on good terms and I feel he would be open to finding a solution to pay me back. Any thought very much appreciated.
Page 2
    • Puffinmonkey
    • By Puffinmonkey 6th Mar 18, 9:21 PM
    • 15 Posts
    • 7 Thanks
    From what you describe, I feel that your Ex is someone who will definitely pay you. He won't cheat on paying you off. What you could do is suggest him to get loan from sites like Zopa.

    or suggest him to sell any products on Amazon to make some more money to give you. There are tons of suppliers of products on Alibaba website. You can suggest him to create an account on Amazon or eBay and sell few products through these suppliers. I am sure he will make some more passive money from which he can give you back.

    Zopa as I said before would be one of the best options for him to get money.
    Originally posted by agatham
    Hi. I have thought about buying through Alibaba and selling on ebay and amazon myself but how do you know what will sell. Also how do you know the suppliers on Alibaba are reliable?
    • Candyapple
    • By Candyapple 7th Mar 18, 11:28 AM
    • 2,683 Posts
    • 2,019 Thanks
    You only lost £7.4k, this woman lost £40k:

    All you can do is put it down to being a lesson learned, albeit an expensive one.

    Perhaps you might want to explore why you would hand over such a large amount of money to someone you barely knew for over a year by way of therapy so you don't fall into the same problems later.

    If your ex is earning £18.5k salary, he's getting roughly £1.3k after tax every month. And all he can afford to repay you is £60? If you are on good terms with him, have you asked him where his money is going or even to increase his payments to you to say £200 per month by standing order?
    I'm a Board Guide on the Credit Cards, Loans, Credit Files & Ratings boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge threads there. Any views are mine and not the official line of
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

4,352Posts Today

10,152Users online

Martin's Twitter