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  • FIRST POST
    • Mr.Grey
    • By Mr.Grey 7th Feb 18, 6:11 PM
    • 11Posts
    • 0Thanks
    Mr.Grey
    Spousal maintenance
    • #1
    • 7th Feb 18, 6:11 PM
    Spousal maintenance 7th Feb 18 at 6:11 PM
    I have been married for 9 years and have 2 children aged 6 and 18mths. My wife is divorcing me and we have been apart for a year. We both have solicitors and hers is saying that she is entitled to spousal maintenance. She works 2 days a week and her earnings are just under 16K, I earn 60k.
    I accept that I have to pay for the kids, but I see no reason why I should subsidise her new life. We have both got new partners, and once our property is sold, (I am still paying the mortgage as she and the kids still live there as it is jointly owned.)
    I want to move on and don't want to be financially tied to her for years to come. I have told her to get another better paid job but she says her salary for just 2 days is good and there isn't an option to work full time. If that's the case I don't know why she can't get a different job.
    We have sorted the child access, it's 50/50 (nights), but the stumbling block is this maintenance she wants.
    She say's she needs it as she has to now rent and cannot manage on the money she will get.
    I don't want to go to mediation as I am not going to change my mind, I intend to buy another house with my new partner and I won't be able to afford to subsidise her.
    Any advise would help, I am just wondering if anyone else has had a similar problem. She is not living with her new partner deliberately because she knows it will go against her as far as finances is concerned.
Page 4
    • pimento
    • By pimento 8th Feb 18, 10:54 AM
    • 5,308 Posts
    • 6,930 Thanks
    pimento
    ... I don't allow him in the house as I pay the mortgage even though it's jointly owned. She stays with him when I have the kids.
    Originally posted by Mr.Grey
    If I were your ex, I'd be taking you for every penny.
    "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." -- Red Adair
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 8th Feb 18, 11:07 AM
    • 2,343 Posts
    • 6,465 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel
    I'm surprised no one has noticed yet that this thread appears to be written by the husband of another poster who started her thread a month ago:

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5772292

    Note the similarities:
    Wife works 2 days a week and refuses to do more
    Children age 1 and 6
    New partner wants to be a childminder
    50/50 custody
    Adulterous husband now with woman he had affair with
    Both spouses now have new partners
    Husband refuses to allow wife's new partner into marital home because he's paying for it

    As the frequent mantra on this board is "we're only getting one side of the story" it's quite clever trolling to give us the other side's view.
    Originally posted by LilElvis

    Ooh, very good!
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 8th Feb 18, 11:36 AM
    • 19,073 Posts
    • 50,368 Thanks
    Pollycat
    Of course its a troll. Noone who is in the right mind would post what he has.
    Originally posted by Judi
    The user name possibly gave the game away...
    • margaretclare
    • By margaretclare 8th Feb 18, 11:44 AM
    • 10,092 Posts
    • 17,083 Thanks
    margaretclare
    I haven't read through the whole thread but...

    On reading the OP's first post, I was reminded very much of what happened in my DH's second divorce, around the turn of the millennium. That, too, was very adversarial on the part of his ex, who wanted to 'take him for every penny' even though he arrived on my doorstep with his worldly goods packed into and on top of a rusty old car, redundant, not well, and with debts. The correspondence that passed between solicitors had to be seen to be believed.

    Having read some of the responses, I'm amazed that we are in 2018. The OP talks of himself as 'the breadwinner'. Does that term really still exist? And he admits to having been unfaithful to his wife, not as DH did, by moving out, but while they still live together.

    It's my understanding that, in most failed marriages of reasonable length, the starting point is 50/50 of all their joint assets, with the proviso that children of the marriage must be taken care of until they're old enough to take care of themselves. The term 'spousal maintenance' is an archaic one, as is the assumption of a male breadwinner.

    Things have moved on in the last 20 years, thankfully.
    r ic wisdom funde, r wear ic eald.
    Before I found wisdom, I became old.
    • sulphate
    • By sulphate 8th Feb 18, 1:17 PM
    • 1,165 Posts
    • 3,374 Thanks
    sulphate
    *opens popcorn*
    • margaretclare
    • By margaretclare 8th Feb 18, 1:21 PM
    • 10,092 Posts
    • 17,083 Thanks
    margaretclare
    Sorry about this. As I said, I hadn't read it all.
    r ic wisdom funde, r wear ic eald.
    Before I found wisdom, I became old.
    • sammyjammy
    • By sammyjammy 8th Feb 18, 6:52 PM
    • 4,260 Posts
    • 4,617 Thanks
    sammyjammy
    I've just spotted the OPs username. I think we've been had.
    Originally posted by Ames
    I !!!!!!! hope so
    Last edited by sammyjammy; 08-02-2018 at 6:52 PM. Reason: actually typed f e_c k ing which isn't a swear word
    "You've been reading SOS when it's just your clock reading 5:05 "
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