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    • EndofTether
    • By EndofTether 24th Jan 18, 3:33 PM
    • 16Posts
    • 6Thanks
    Can't afford a baby :'-(
    • #1
    • 24th Jan 18, 3:33 PM
    Can't afford a baby :'-( 24th Jan 18 at 3:33 PM
    My partner and I would love to start a family of our own within the next 12 months but our financial situation is looking bleak:

    I earn 21K salary and can get 52 weeks maternity pay at standard rate (£140pw)

    Partner earns 20K....but....

    he pays the mortgage on his ex wife's house (£250pcm) and pays child support for their 2 children (£250 pcm). Basically, I did the maths and we would need to find £200 every month for the first 3 years of our future child's life just to cover rent, bills and childcare - this includes me going back to work full time.

    My question to the forum is: What benefits can we hope to get? What help is there for a hard working couple of which the man happens to be supporting a previous family? I'm terrified I'm going to lose out on my chance to have a child.

    Many thanks
Page 4
    • Kim_13
    • By Kim_13 9th Feb 18, 12:24 PM
    • 1,902 Posts
    • 2,032 Thanks
    Won't his maintenance payments to the two children he has go down if there is a new baby into the mix?
    Originally posted by pollyanna24
    Only slightly. Running a quick calculation on the online calculator suggests it would reduce by around £6 a week:

    Having the children overnight would also reduce the amount payable by 1/7 for each night he has them per week.
    Sealed Pot 11 #520 ~ /£100
    VSP 2018 #9 ~ £19.55/£180.00
    CCCC 2018 #1 ~ £20.75/£180.00

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    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 10th Feb 18, 6:55 AM
    • 16,541 Posts
    • 41,005 Thanks
    You're only issue is you wanting to rush things. Nothing good comes out of it. Having a child with a man you've only been with 2 years especially when they are many issues that can bring conflict is not a good idea anyway.

    You are 32, not 42, so you have time to become a mum. Right now, you both need to settle into your new jobs, your new family set up, given the other children a chance to adjust to the massive change they have experienced. Make it a goal for you and your OH to try to get promoted/better paid jobs in the next 3 to 4 years, and then consider a baby then.

    Having a baby is stressful. Having a baby and little money is very stressful. Having a baby, with little money, and issues coming from previous relationships is extremely stressful. Give your baby to be a chance to grow up in a stable family.
    • Caroline Parker
    • By Caroline Parker 13th Feb 18, 5:14 PM
    • 32 Posts
    • 17 Thanks
    Caroline Parker
    I guess you need to understand about his commitment to his own kids. I would suggest to give some time as time solves all problems.
    • SimpleLiving
    • By SimpleLiving 12th Mar 18, 8:52 AM
    • 47 Posts
    • 1,363 Thanks
    Guilty about what exactly?
    Originally posted by surveyqueenuk
    Can help yourself can you
    • marliepanda
    • By marliepanda 12th Mar 18, 2:33 PM
    • 5,316 Posts
    • 10,946 Thanks
    Can help yourself can you
    Originally posted by SimpleLiving
    You bumped a thread which has been quiet for over a month for this?

    You said He felt guilty so someone asked you to clarify. No need for a wee tantrum over it. Your partner already has children, and clearly they are his priority over children with you that dont exist yet.

    Kicking off at people on this thread wont change that.
    • TeaRex
    • By TeaRex 12th Mar 18, 3:13 PM
    • 51 Posts
    • 105 Thanks
    The person you are replying to is a different username to the OP. Not sure if its the same person with another username though!
    June 2015 Debt - £23643 // March 2018 Debt - £1490
    Sealed Pot Challenge Member - 584
    • marliepanda
    • By marliepanda 13th Mar 18, 12:53 PM
    • 5,316 Posts
    • 10,946 Thanks
    The person you are replying to is a different username to the OP. Not sure if its the same person with another username though!
    Originally posted by TeaRex
    Oh so it is. I assumed by them bumping an older thread they must have been the OP, otherwise why bother? However I see from other posts they donít really have anything better to do...
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