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  • FIRST POST
    • flower11
    • By flower11 13th Jan 18, 4:46 PM
    • 107Posts
    • 42Thanks
    flower11
    Will and inheritence
    • #1
    • 13th Jan 18, 4:46 PM
    Will and inheritence 13th Jan 18 at 4:46 PM
    Hope someone can put a light on a situation that myself and siblings have found ourselves in.

    In the middle of last week, my sister received a letter from a woman with no more than an email address to reply to telling her that her father had died in early 2016 and she thought that there were a few personal possessions of possible sentimental value that might go to her.

    Stunned, of course. Our father than deliberately created a new life for himself when we were in our teens, had remarried, changed is name and gathered us all together to let us know he no longer wanted to be our father! Nice guy eh.

    Fast forward 40 years. We never lost site of him. One or other of us would make an appearance every few years, either in person, by phone or birthday/xmas card. Not an easy person to find at times, but we would always find him somewhere. His wife died and he had a series of relationships but no more marriages and no more children.

    Last contact in person was late Summer 2014. He was sat alone in a house that was up for sale with no furniture as the lady he had been living with had taken it all with her when she left!

    My sister responded to the lady via the email address she gave, asking for information and also wondering why it had taken nearly 2 years to contact his family.

    We have heard nothing.

    First thing we did was check the whether a death had been registered in his new name as he could have just been trying to disappear again. But sadly no. He had passed.

    She applied for a copy of the death certificate and probate papers.

    The probate arrived this afternoon with his will. The will was made a few weeks before his death. It left over £350K to a variety of people including 50% going to the lady who had contacted my sister.

    There is no mention of his actual family in any form in the papers.

    Is this worth an investigate? If so, where would be start. I thought probably the solicitor named as drawing up the will. There are two executors, both of whom receive sums.

    Any thoughts at this time would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
Page 2
    • ViolaLass
    • By ViolaLass 13th Jan 18, 10:25 PM
    • 5,217 Posts
    • 7,243 Thanks
    ViolaLass
    A man who received instructions from an invisible "guide".

    It is not about the money.

    Something is just not quite right and he had children, who regardless of whether he was following "instructions" or not, always cared enough to keep track of him.
    Originally posted by flower11
    What's not right? That he chose to leave his money to people other than you? Is that not to be expected in the circumstances?
    • paddy's mum
    • By paddy's mum 14th Jan 18, 9:39 AM
    • 3,495 Posts
    • 12,627 Thanks
    paddy's mum
    he had children, who .... always cared enough to keep track of him.
    Originally posted by flower11
    But by your own admission, you didn't know for something approaching two years that he had passed away and without the message from your informant, you still wouldn't know.

    DNA is not a passport, however sad or unfair you personally find that fact.

    If the scenario were very slightly changed, you and your family have effectively been stalking this man. What more could he have done to make it absolutely clear that he did not wish to have a relationship with you?

    Your comments are giving the idea that your family have been very close to harassing the man. If this was a sex offender defying the wishes of a previous victim and INSISTING and ENFORCING continued contact, the Police would be taking action against the thick-skinned idiot!

    It was, and still is, the man's choice to make not yours!
    • Margot123
    • By Margot123 14th Jan 18, 9:42 AM
    • 543 Posts
    • 554 Thanks
    Margot123
    So, you are going to attempt to prove your estranged Father of decades ago was suffering from a mental illness when he wrote his will?

    And you are basing this on the fact you 'work in mental health'? You could be a psychiatrist or the cleaner, and yet you assess someone's state of health from afar???? How would you even know about an invisible guide? Oh, come on..........you are floundering.

    Let the man rest in peace, for goodness sake.
    • Flugelhorn
    • By Flugelhorn 14th Jan 18, 9:59 AM
    • 612 Posts
    • 801 Thanks
    Flugelhorn
    A man who received instructions from an invisible "guide".

    It is not about the money.

    Something is just not quite right and he had children, who regardless of whether he was following "instructions" or not, always cared enough to keep track of him.
    Originally posted by flower11
    Not sure, this is what we need to find out. Having worked within the mental health field for some years, he was what is known these days as "functioning".
    Sounds like you have concerns as to his mental state when he made the will and I can see why you want to know more as he may have deteriorated. The death certificate may tell more.
    • -taff
    • By -taff 14th Jan 18, 11:46 AM
    • 7,338 Posts
    • 5,391 Thanks
    -taff
    I would say, let this go.

    Mental illness or not, he didn't want contact. He severed his ties with you for whatever reason, mental illness or no. He was capable of relationships with other people and was closer to these other people than he was to you.

    I don't know what you think is not quite right, do you think he was murdered, do you think he was taken advantage of, do you think he was co-erced into doing something?

    Any of the above will be hard to determine from a death certificte, and the will can certainly not be challenged on the grounds that you feel something is not quite right.
    • Margot123
    • By Margot123 14th Jan 18, 12:18 PM
    • 543 Posts
    • 554 Thanks
    Margot123
    What do you hope to gain from viewing the death certificate?
    If you are counting on it as proof of a mental illness, it will not give that as a cause of death. Causes of death have to be physical AFAIK.
    Nor will it give evidence of any mental incapacity at the time of writing the will.
    • bluebear36
    • By bluebear36 14th Jan 18, 9:18 PM
    • 33 Posts
    • 48 Thanks
    bluebear36
    So, you are going to attempt to prove your estranged Father of decades ago was suffering from a mental illness when he wrote his will?

    And you are basing this on the fact you 'work in mental health'? You could be a psychiatrist or the cleaner, and yet you assess someone's state of health from afar???? How would you even know about an invisible guide? Oh, come on..........you are floundering.

    Let the man rest in peace, for goodness sake.
    Originally posted by Margot123
    A "man" who abandons his children doesn't deserve to rest in peace afaic. He seems to have treated the OP appallingly.
    • bluebear36
    • By bluebear36 14th Jan 18, 9:21 PM
    • 33 Posts
    • 48 Thanks
    bluebear36
    What do you hope to gain from viewing the death certificate?
    If you are counting on it as proof of a mental illness, it will not give that as a cause of death. Causes of death have to be physical AFAIK.
    Nor will it give evidence of any mental incapacity at the time of writing the will.
    Originally posted by Margot123
    The OP explained that it was to check that he was actually dead. Not sure why all your sympathy seems to go to the OPs deadbeat dad.
    • Margot123
    • By Margot123 15th Jan 18, 8:27 AM
    • 543 Posts
    • 554 Thanks
    Margot123


    The OP explained that it was to check that he was actually dead. Not sure why all your sympathy seems to go to the OPs deadbeat dad.
    Originally posted by bluebear36
    You seem to confuse sympathy with reality.
    I will leave it here as there is a detraction from what is really going on from a legal standpoint.
    • bluebear36
    • By bluebear36 15th Jan 18, 4:40 PM
    • 33 Posts
    • 48 Thanks
    bluebear36
    You seem to confuse sympathy with reality.
    I will leave it here as there is a detraction from what is really going on from a legal standpoint.
    Originally posted by Margot123
    That would be fair comment if you hadn't made posts that contained no legal advice whatsoever, but were made purely to attack the OP.

    I'm surprised anyone asks for advice with people like you on this board!!!
    Last edited by bluebear36; 15-01-2018 at 4:43 PM.
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