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    • Bath cube
    • By Bath cube 10th Jan 18, 8:18 PM
    • 181Posts
    • 79Thanks
    Bath cube
    Concerns About Friends Behaviour
    • #1
    • 10th Jan 18, 8:18 PM
    Concerns About Friends Behaviour 10th Jan 18 at 8:18 PM
    I'm sorry if this post might sound offensive on here but I do require some advice asap. My OH goes out on Fridays by himself (which is fine by me no problem). He doesnt go to meet anyone specifically he just chats to most people he knows in a local public house. Since last summer a man has sort of latched on to my OH and is showing some strange behaviour. He has told my OH he is bisexual but prefers men and that he thinks my OH is hiding his true feelings towards him this was before Christmas. This man seems peculiar he lives round the corner from this public house but insisted on getting in a taxi home with my OH and watched my OH going into our house. When my OH told him no I'm not interested in you sexually he appeared very upset and my OH told him it was best he didn't contact or see him again given his feelings. Since this happened my OH has gone somewhere different and last Saturday we went out together as normal in a quiet nice bar. This man came in and stared right at me then went to the bar and stormed up to my OH. He asked my OH why was he ignoring him and asked out loud if it was because of me. When I went over to see what was wrong this man got really annoyed and was fuming under his breath. I told him to go and he stormed off. He rang my OH the following evening and told him not to ignore him. I was coming home from work yesterday and he approache'd me as I was getting my keys out of my bag. He told me he had had sex with my OH and he isnt happy with you. I told him to go or I will call the police and he put his face next to mine. When my OH got home I asked him about this and he said it's all lies and this bloke has become obsessed with him. He phoned him in front of me and told him not to bother either of us. What can I do if he approaches me again or follows us into the bar we go to?. It looks like he wants to stir it out of jealousy.
Page 1
    • z1a
    • By z1a 10th Jan 18, 8:27 PM
    • 891 Posts
    • 771 Thanks
    z1a
    • #2
    • 10th Jan 18, 8:27 PM
    • #2
    • 10th Jan 18, 8:27 PM
    I would get police involved now. If OH is against this, I would be wondering why.
    • cjdavies
    • By cjdavies 10th Jan 18, 8:27 PM
    • 2,970 Posts
    • 3,077 Thanks
    cjdavies
    • #3
    • 10th Jan 18, 8:27 PM
    • #3
    • 10th Jan 18, 8:27 PM
    I'm sorry if this post might sound offensive on here but I do require some advice asap.

    My OH goes out on Fridays by himself (which is fine by me no problem). He doesnt go to meet anyone specifically he just chats to most people he knows in a local public house.

    Since last summer a man has sort of latched on to my OH and is showing some strange behaviour. He has told my OH he is bisexual but prefers men and that he thinks my OH is hiding his true feelings towards him this was before Christmas.

    This man seems peculiar he lives round the corner from this public house but insisted on getting in a taxi home with my OH and watched my OH going into our house. When my OH told him no I'm not interested in you sexually he appeared very upset and my OH told him it was best he didn't contact or see him again given his feelings.

    Since this happened my OH has gone somewhere different and last Saturday we went out together as normal in a quiet nice bar. This man came in and stared right at me then went to the bar and stormed up to my OH. He asked my OH why was he ignoring him and asked out loud if it was because of me. When I went over to see what was wrong this man got really annoyed and was fuming under his breath. I told him to go and he stormed off. He rang my OH the following evening and told him not to ignore him.

    I was coming home from work yesterday and he approache'd me as I was getting my keys out of my bag. He told me he had had sex with my OH and he isnt happy with you. I told him to go or I will call the police and he put his face next to mine. When my OH got home I asked him about this and he said it's all lies and this bloke has become obsessed with him. He phoned him in front of me and told him not to bother either of us.

    What can I do if he approaches me again or follows us into the bar we go to?. It looks like he wants to stir it out of jealousy.
    Originally posted by Bath cube
    I have no advice as unsure, but makes it easier to read for others.
    • lika_86
    • By lika_86 10th Jan 18, 8:30 PM
    • 1,222 Posts
    • 4,350 Thanks
    lika_86
    • #4
    • 10th Jan 18, 8:30 PM
    • #4
    • 10th Jan 18, 8:30 PM
    How did/does he have your OH's number?

    There are two options - either he has boundary and perhaps mental health issues or he's telling the full or partial truth.

    Unless there's a legitimate reason why he has your OH's phone number I'd be inclined towards believing the latter. Most men (and women) I know wouldn't give their number to someone they know casually without a reason.
    • Bath cube
    • By Bath cube 10th Jan 18, 8:58 PM
    • 181 Posts
    • 79 Thanks
    Bath cube
    • #5
    • 10th Jan 18, 8:58 PM
    • #5
    • 10th Jan 18, 8:58 PM
    There is no question of my OH being gay or unfaithful with any man or woman. I do not believe this man at all. Quite a few of my OH friends or colleagues have his number. Someone from my OH's usual pub have said they have heard this man was recently sacked from his job has a home care assistant because he was stealing from a elderly man. Also he did something inappropriate to a young boy on another street he lived on. He is sorry looking thin with a strange gait and affected by severe rosacea. I don't want to waste the time of the emergency services unnecessarily. This man must have formed some kind of unrequited thing on my OH ( whom I am married to). He was furious when I walked up to him in that bar, he must see me as a obstacle. Me and my OH have been together 20 years this April and yes we have had our tiffs like anyone does but no way do I think he has been unfaithful with this man or anyone. I'm just glad our son doesn't live with us to see this.
    • Ms Chocaholic
    • By Ms Chocaholic 10th Jan 18, 9:02 PM
    • 8,985 Posts
    • 55,193 Thanks
    Ms Chocaholic
    • #6
    • 10th Jan 18, 9:02 PM
    • #6
    • 10th Jan 18, 9:02 PM
    I'm confused as to how this person got your OH's number? Were they friends before he started acting strangely.
    Thrifty Till 50 Then Spend Till The End

    You can please some of the people some of the time, all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time but you can never please all of the people all of the time
    • chesky
    • By chesky 10th Jan 18, 9:03 PM
    • 924 Posts
    • 1,387 Thanks
    chesky
    • #7
    • 10th Jan 18, 9:03 PM
    • #7
    • 10th Jan 18, 9:03 PM
    Contact the police.
    • thorsoak
    • By thorsoak 10th Jan 18, 9:04 PM
    • 5,524 Posts
    • 25,152 Thanks
    thorsoak
    • #8
    • 10th Jan 18, 9:04 PM
    • #8
    • 10th Jan 18, 9:04 PM
    Sounds rather like your "uncle" - or was it cousin? I get a trifle confused with all the strange people in your social circle!
    • HampshireH
    • By HampshireH 10th Jan 18, 9:06 PM
    • 353 Posts
    • 376 Thanks
    HampshireH
    • #9
    • 10th Jan 18, 9:06 PM
    • #9
    • 10th Jan 18, 9:06 PM
    Doesn't sound like calling the police is unnecessary to be honest

    * he is watching you and knows when you return home

    * He is in the same place as you and your OH on a night out

    * He intimidated you on your doorstep

    * He is making false allegations (what else could he lie about..... it could be quite damaging)

    It's harassment.
    • Nicki
    • By Nicki 10th Jan 18, 9:16 PM
    • 7,613 Posts
    • 26,921 Thanks
    Nicki
    Blue lass. You're back
    • suki1964
    • By suki1964 10th Jan 18, 9:19 PM
    • 10,328 Posts
    • 26,303 Thanks
    suki1964
    Blue lass. You're back
    Originally posted by Nicki
    You know I was just thinking today we needed a new bluelass thread to liven the place up, and lo and behold we have one
    if you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it
    • pearl123
    • By pearl123 10th Jan 18, 10:09 PM
    • 1,288 Posts
    • 1,951 Thanks
    pearl123
    I'm sorry if this post might sound offensive on here but I do require some advice asap. My OH goes out on Fridays by himself (which is fine by me no problem). He doesnt go to meet anyone specifically he just chats to most people he knows in a local public house. Since last summer a man has sort of latched on to my OH and is showing some strange behaviour. He has told my OH he is bisexual but prefers men and that he thinks my OH is hiding his true feelings towards him this was before Christmas. This man seems peculiar he lives round the corner from this public house but insisted on getting in a taxi home with my OH and watched my OH going into our house. When my OH told him no I'm not interested in you sexually he appeared very upset and my OH told him it was best he didn't contact or see him again given his feelings. Since this happened my OH has gone somewhere different and last Saturday we went out together as normal in a quiet nice bar. This man came in and stared right at me then went to the bar and stormed up to my OH. He asked my OH why was he ignoring him and asked out loud if it was because of me. When I went over to see what was wrong this man got really annoyed and was fuming under his breath. I told him to go and he stormed off. He rang my OH the following evening and told him not to ignore him. I was coming home from work yesterday and he approache'd me as I was getting my keys out of my bag. He told me he had had sex with my OH and he isnt happy with you. I told him to go or I will call the police and he put his face next to mine. When my OH got home I asked him about this and he said it's all lies and this bloke has become obsessed with him. He phoned him in front of me and told him not to bother either of us. What can I do if he approaches me again or follows us into the bar we go to?. It looks like he wants to stir it out of jealousy.
    Originally posted by Bath cube
    Husband goes out alone and meets up with someone. He shares a taxi and give out phone number.
    To me it sounds like something has been going on.

    He's jealous for a reason and I'm not entirely convinced its mental health.
    • thorsoak
    • By thorsoak 10th Jan 18, 10:12 PM
    • 5,524 Posts
    • 25,152 Thanks
    thorsoak
    I have a great idea! Call your cousin, give him this man's telephone no and tell him that he wants a friend!
    • LilElvis
    • By LilElvis 10th Jan 18, 10:20 PM
    • 3,283 Posts
    • 9,092 Thanks
    LilElvis
    I have no advice as unsure, but makes it easier to read for others.
    Originally posted by cjdavies
    Doesn't make it any more believable though
    • LilElvis
    • By LilElvis 10th Jan 18, 10:24 PM
    • 3,283 Posts
    • 9,092 Thanks
    LilElvis
    I have a great idea! Call your cousin, give him this man's telephone no and tell him that he wants a friend!
    Originally posted by thorsoak
    Or he could take over from the poor lady from the pub who was conned into giving bedbaths to the uncle of bluelass.
    • Money maker
    • By Money maker 10th Jan 18, 10:25 PM
    • 4,895 Posts
    • 11,149 Thanks
    Money maker
    How does he 'insist' on getting a taxi home with your OH? Could your OH not have said no and enforced it? Are things good in the rumpy pumpy department cos this doesn't sound right.
    Please do not quote spam as this enables it to 'live on' once the spam post is removed.

    If you quote me, don't forget the capital 'M'

    Declutterers of the world - unite!
    • Diamandis
    • By Diamandis 10th Jan 18, 10:33 PM
    • 134 Posts
    • 229 Thanks
    Diamandis
    It's great you're so positive he hasn't cheated, don't think anyone else would be in these circumstances.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 10th Jan 18, 11:25 PM
    • 18,679 Posts
    • 49,114 Thanks
    Pollycat
    There is no question of my OH being gay or unfaithful with any man or woman.
    Originally posted by Bath cube
    You wouldn't be the first person to say this - and be wrong.
    • phillw
    • By phillw 10th Jan 18, 11:41 PM
    • 1,095 Posts
    • 647 Thanks
    phillw
    I told him to go or I will call the police and he put his face next to mine.
    Originally posted by Bath cube
    You should go to the police and tell them the truth, that he approached you and you felt threatened by him.

    What they would normally then do is send someone to talk to him and let him know that you had called the police because you felt threatened and that it is in his best interests to not contact you as he would then be committing an offence.

    As for whether he's telling the truth or not, everyone lies at some point in there life. Either to get something or to get out of something. What is important is you get back to feeling normal and move on.
    • bagpussbear
    • By bagpussbear 11th Jan 18, 6:11 AM
    • 796 Posts
    • 2,659 Thanks
    bagpussbear
    Another vote for going to the Police. Aggression, ability to see boundaries and doesn't take no for an answer. He sounds unstable.

    Log it with the police now.
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