Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • PokerPlayer111
    • By PokerPlayer111 6th Jan 18, 11:38 AM
    • 95Posts
    • 9Thanks
    PokerPlayer111
    Whats the best way to help family members? buy house or just give them some money?
    • #1
    • 6th Jan 18, 11:38 AM
    Whats the best way to help family members? buy house or just give them some money? 6th Jan 18 at 11:38 AM
    Just some future plan if i ever make it, right now cant do this but in theory... Whats the best way to help, if you buy someone a house to live in i feel you can "give" them more because you can keep it in your name as an asset/investment (good idea?)

    If just giving family members money you get less tax to pay right? but then you likely cant give such a sizeable gift.

    If a family member were to help you out in life what would you prefer? a house bought for you to live in rent free for pretty much your whole life but not in your name or would you prefer just the cash but probably at half the value of house, or maybe even less like 33% or maybe even 20%.

    Sometimes if you help people, in some ways they dont like it right? i have all the usual problems in my family, big egos, nobody really gets along truly. Is helping at all even a good idea, or maybe its best to just be there for people?
    Last edited by PokerPlayer111; 06-01-2018 at 11:46 AM.
Page 1
    • G_M
    • By G_M 6th Jan 18, 12:01 PM
    • 42,776 Posts
    • 50,001 Thanks
    G_M
    • #2
    • 6th Jan 18, 12:01 PM
    • #2
    • 6th Jan 18, 12:01 PM
    If your family member lives in a house you buy and own:

    * you'll be a landlord with many legal responsibilities (see below)
    * you'll be liable for Capital Gains Tax if/when you sell

    Cash gives the family member more choice/freedom. They can move when they want, live where they want, do what they want with it - they might prefer to rent for ease of mobility and spend the money on education for the kids/whatever.

    You say th prperty would be worth considerably more than the cash would be: why? Because you'd get a mortgage on the property? That would need to be a BTL mortgage and few lenders allow family to be your tenants.

    * New landlords: advice, information & links
    Last edited by G_M; 06-01-2018 at 12:03 PM.
    • PokerPlayer111
    • By PokerPlayer111 6th Jan 18, 12:13 PM
    • 95 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    PokerPlayer111
    • #3
    • 6th Jan 18, 12:13 PM
    • #3
    • 6th Jan 18, 12:13 PM
    If your family member lives in a house you buy and own:

    * you'll be a landlord with many legal responsibilities (see below)
    * you'll be liable for Capital Gains Tax if/when you sell

    Cash gives the family member more choice/freedom. They can move when they want, live where they want, do what they want with it - they might prefer to rent for ease of mobility and spend the money on education for the kids/whatever.
    Originally posted by G_M
    Yeah over last few weeks im already thinking cash is maybe better, freedom is huge. Some problems with this though is the 2 family members we planned on helping are married also, both probably in unhappy marriages also, so by giving cash you end up giving large amount of money to the partners which we dont want to do. Unless there is a way to give a cash gift to a married person and in the event of divorce they dont have to give half to the partner? (whatever we give would very likely be spent paying of mortgage in 1 case or to help buy first house in other case)
    Last edited by PokerPlayer111; 06-01-2018 at 12:16 PM.
    • G_M
    • By G_M 6th Jan 18, 12:18 PM
    • 42,776 Posts
    • 50,001 Thanks
    G_M
    • #4
    • 6th Jan 18, 12:18 PM
    • #4
    • 6th Jan 18, 12:18 PM
    Put it in a trust, with yourself as trustee?
    • trailingspouse
    • By trailingspouse 6th Jan 18, 12:40 PM
    • 2,605 Posts
    • 4,035 Thanks
    trailingspouse
    • #5
    • 6th Jan 18, 12:40 PM
    • #5
    • 6th Jan 18, 12:40 PM
    Why the urge to help?

    Charity begins at home.

    If the people you want to help are your own kids, then the best thing you can do is give them the ability to be independent. There's something to be said for having to make it on your own.

    And do you think a rocky marriage would be helped by one partner having money that the other wasn't supposed to benefit from??

    Leave them your money in your will - there's no need to jump the gun, as it were.
    • PokerPlayer111
    • By PokerPlayer111 6th Jan 18, 12:41 PM
    • 95 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    PokerPlayer111
    • #6
    • 6th Jan 18, 12:41 PM
    • #6
    • 6th Jan 18, 12:41 PM
    Put it in a trust, with yourself as trustee?
    Originally posted by G_M
    ok sounds interesting, will have to look into what that would mean
    • PokerPlayer111
    • By PokerPlayer111 6th Jan 18, 12:53 PM
    • 95 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    PokerPlayer111
    • #7
    • 6th Jan 18, 12:53 PM
    • #7
    • 6th Jan 18, 12:53 PM
    Why the urge to help?

    Charity begins at home.

    If the people you want to help are your own kids, then the best thing you can do is give them the ability to be independent. There's something to be said for having to make it on your own.

    And do you think a rocky marriage would be helped by one partner having money that the other wasn't supposed to benefit from??

    Leave them your money in your will - there's no need to jump the gun, as it were.
    Originally posted by trailingspouse
    People we want to help are siblings. The urge to help is everyone growing up dirt poor i think. Either that or i'm wanting to buy more respect in the family - things might not end well if thats the case haha.

    Me and my partner have not yet had kids, we have no plans.

    Their rocky marriages could be affected in the scenario of 1 getting money and partner not yeah but i think that would be their responsibility to work out, im only looking to give to 1, not take from partner.
    • PokerPlayer111
    • By PokerPlayer111 6th Jan 18, 1:06 PM
    • 95 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    PokerPlayer111
    • #8
    • 6th Jan 18, 1:06 PM
    • #8
    • 6th Jan 18, 1:06 PM
    Charity begins at home.
    Originally posted by trailingspouse
    All i feel i need in life is house paid off + a solid regular income. What do you need after that?
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 6th Jan 18, 1:33 PM
    • 14,626 Posts
    • 40,101 Thanks
    moneyistooshorttomention
    • #9
    • 6th Jan 18, 1:33 PM
    • #9
    • 6th Jan 18, 1:33 PM

    If a family member were to help you out in life what would you prefer? a house bought for you to live in rent free for pretty much your whole life but not in your name or would you prefer just the cash but probably at half the value of house, or maybe even less like 33% or maybe even 20%.

    Sometimes if you help people, in some ways they dont like it right? i have all the usual problems in my family, big egos, nobody really gets along truly. Is helping at all even a good idea, or maybe its best to just be there for people?
    Originally posted by PokerPlayer111
    Personally speaking - I've got a grabby brother and so that would be my main reason why I would prefer to be given the cash full stop. Any gift to me would be something he couldnt get his hands on. Whereas a house of mine that wasnt in my name (ie because it was still in your name) would have me feeling fearful that my brother would grab for at least some of the equity in it come the time and I'd have a "battle royal" on my hands trying to keep my own home. Grabby type relatives can/do always think up an excuse as to why they personally should "have more" come the time and I'm only too thankful that the "roof over my head" is 100% mine and he can't manage to touch that (much as he's clearly been dropping hints it should be his/his family's if I pop off before him....).

    Also - it would be difficult for me to sell my own home and move to another home if I decided to - if it wasnt actually in my own name. Whereas, if my house was in my own name then (even if there was a mortgage on it) = I could sell it to buy another instead without any problem.

    So - give them the money and that's an end of it. It will make life easier for them and they won't have to worry whether any grabby sibling might go for the roof over their head.
    Last edited by moneyistooshorttomention; 06-01-2018 at 1:38 PM.
    New Year's Resolution already made -

    Don't get mad....get firm ...
    • PokerPlayer111
    • By PokerPlayer111 6th Jan 18, 7:04 PM
    • 95 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    PokerPlayer111
    Personally speaking - I've got a grabby brother and so that would be my main reason why I would prefer to be given the cash full stop. Any gift to me would be something he couldnt get his hands on. Whereas a house of mine that wasnt in my name (ie because it was still in your name) would have me feeling fearful that my brother would grab for at least some of the equity in it come the time and I'd have a "battle royal" on my hands trying to keep my own home. Grabby type relatives can/do always think up an excuse as to why they personally should "have more" come the time and I'm only too thankful that the "roof over my head" is 100% mine and he can't manage to touch that (much as he's clearly been dropping hints it should be his/his family's if I pop off before him....).

    Also - it would be difficult for me to sell my own home and move to another home if I decided to - if it wasnt actually in my own name. Whereas, if my house was in my own name then (even if there was a mortgage on it) = I could sell it to buy another instead without any problem.

    So - give them the money and that's an end of it. It will make life easier for them and they won't have to worry whether any grabby sibling might go for the roof over their head.
    Originally posted by moneyistooshorttomention
    Oh yeah i think my family members can sometimes have hard time with fairness and could potentially come up with poor reasons why they deserve X more. I dont relate to people like this very well. Has to be a good well thought out logic why someone deserves more.

    So with your grabby brother would you ever help them financially? at all? Lets say the context is just to boost their lifestyle, so important stuff but no special circumstances.
    Last edited by PokerPlayer111; 06-01-2018 at 7:07 PM.
    • hunters
    • By hunters 6th Jan 18, 9:24 PM
    • 743 Posts
    • 2,097 Thanks
    hunters
    All i feel i need in life is house paid off + a solid regular income. What do you need after that?
    Originally posted by PokerPlayer111
    A decent pension.
    • Cakeguts
    • By Cakeguts 6th Jan 18, 9:35 PM
    • 3,534 Posts
    • 4,892 Thanks
    Cakeguts
    It depends on a lot of things. Some people are just not good with money. It is difficult to give money to someone hoping it will help them out when you don't know the full circumstances of how they got into the position in the first place. I can think of several examples of younger people who if you gave them a sum of money they would either buy a new car or go on the most expensive holiday that they could find. After they had spent the money they would be back in exactly the same position as before.

    Some of the money going to ex partners is the least of the problems. Do you want to find yourself in the position that whenever one of your siblings wants to go on holiday they come to you for cash. Or on the other hand do you want them to feel small because you are in their eyes not helping them out but making them feel that you are showing them how much you have?

    My advice would be that if you feel you want to help someone give the money to a charity. Or put food into your local foodbank collection point.
    • G_M
    • By G_M 6th Jan 18, 9:49 PM
    • 42,776 Posts
    • 50,001 Thanks
    G_M
    I disagree with some of the sentiments above and understand the OP's motives.

    I grew up in a time when buying a family home was within (relatively) easy reach of many/most people. I bought a flat, then a hose, then a nicer house etc

    I look at young peope today, many of whom still live with parents and wh have ittle chance of home-ownershhip, especally ddown here in the south, andespecially London.

    The onle way it's possible for many these days is with family help.

    I too believe in young people standing on their own two feet, but when the ground they are standing on is quicksand, they need a helping hand......
    • PokerPlayer111
    • By PokerPlayer111 7th Jan 18, 11:26 AM
    • 95 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    PokerPlayer111
    A decent pension.
    Originally posted by hunters
    Yeah but then thats it right. House/decent job + pension then after that its indulgence on stuff? maybe some travel is a need.


    The onle way it's possible for many these days is with family help.

    I too believe in young people standing on their own two feet, but when the ground they are standing on is quicksand, they need a helping hand......
    Originally posted by G_M
    Last few years i've thought what is the point of family at all and feel like its designed that way to offset the unfairness of life/society. Else you might aswell just interact with strangers the same as you do family.

    Generally, people do seem to act different to a point depending on how comfortable they are financially, causes problems.
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 7th Jan 18, 1:51 PM
    • 14,626 Posts
    • 40,101 Thanks
    moneyistooshorttomention

    So with your grabby brother would you ever help them financially? at all? Lets say the context is just to boost their lifestyle, so important stuff but no special circumstances.
    Originally posted by PokerPlayer111
    In a word - no.

    It wouldnt make sense to me to help someone you know wouldnt help you and doesnt care about being fair to you.

    If my parents were in a position they needed (would accept to be more accurate....) money to pay for private health care and the like then obviously I'd pay if I were in a position to. But that's all rather academic anyway - as I'm not in that position...
    Last edited by moneyistooshorttomention; 07-01-2018 at 1:55 PM.
    New Year's Resolution already made -

    Don't get mad....get firm ...
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

920Posts Today

7,776Users online

Martin's Twitter