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    • Gettingtherequickly
    • By Gettingtherequickly 5th Jan 18, 1:27 PM
    • 3,531Posts
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    Gettingtherequickly
    Advice for dad bailing daughter out
    • #1
    • 5th Jan 18, 1:27 PM
    Advice for dad bailing daughter out 5th Jan 18 at 1:27 PM
    Writing on behalf of someone I know.

    His daughter has got herself into a debt cycle which she can't get out of. He previously bailed her out last spring and warned her not to get into debt again (he hates owing money), she is coming up to 21 so immaturity is the cause of it primarily, however although she is working, she has very little priority expenditure, which means that she has generally selfish expenditure.

    Anyway, he told her that she would have to get a loan, not the best idea I know, but he feels that she would have a greater fear of the bank than him and may take responsibility for her actions as a result. They bank at the same branch and, although she is unaware, he is prepared to act as guarantor which he has told the manager. However, as the amount is "only" £3k, the bank have said guarantor is unlikely to be required. Consequently, her credit history would probably either result in refusal or very poor interest rate.

    Which means that he will (and is resigned to) have to bail her out again.

    What would you advise he say to her? I was thinking along the following:

    1. As a high rate tax payer, that £3k has already had cost him £2k, as to be able to give her £3k, he was paid £5k (I am rounding figures, but she needs to know these things).

    2. Any cards are to be cut up.

    3. If she is not repaying him, not to even think of a 21st birthday present.

    She is not his wife's daughter, so he knows he can speak to me openly but at the same time, anything I say is with emotional detachment, which I know is easy for me to say, but he needs to over-ride his parental guilt, which he hopefully he will have no problem about doing this time.

    Any thoughts on what else he could say? He is desperate for her to take a more mature attitude and budget sensibly, but at the same time, she is an adult.
    Did my LBM in reverseFinally debt free with money in the bank!

    I know I am getting old, but there is no need for my consultant to age me by another 10 years 😉
Page 2
    • sourcrates
    • By sourcrates 7th Jan 18, 10:29 PM
    • 13,056 Posts
    • 12,366 Thanks
    sourcrates
    Thanks for all of your comments, just need to convince dad that she needs to learn. I think that she should be able to pay it back in less than a year if she gets her act together, there are many families who have less disposable income, she needs to appreciate how lucky she is.
    Originally posted by Gettingtherequickly
    Getting kids to realise this is the biggest problem though !!
    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Credit File And Ratings, and
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    Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an abusive or illegal post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    For free debt advice, contact either : Stepchange, National Debtline, or, CAB.
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    • pennystretcher
    • By pennystretcher 11th Jan 18, 9:07 PM
    • 341 Posts
    • 1,369 Thanks
    pennystretcher
    She's old enough to know better, so just needs a LBM to understand she is now an adult. Maybe she should move out?
    MFW Jan 2018 £190 (almost there!!!)
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