Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • MSE Sarah
    • By MSE Sarah 2nd Jan 18, 5:37 PM
    • 111Posts
    • 61Thanks
    MSE Sarah
    Money Moral Dilemma: Should I force my friend to replace my £700 camera lens?
    • #1
    • 2nd Jan 18, 5:37 PM
    Money Moral Dilemma: Should I force my friend to replace my £700 camera lens? 2nd Jan 18 at 5:37 PM
    This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

    Three years ago a friend collected a camera lens for me from a repair shop. When I went to pick it up, he'd lost it. He was apologetic but wouldn't let me put in an insurance claim, saying he'd pay for it (he never did). We haven't spoken for over a year now and he's 'unfriended' me on Facebook. Do I escalate it to something more serious?

    Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be enjoyed as a point of debate and discussed at face value.

    If you havenít already, join the forum to reply!

    This Forum tip was included in MoneySavingExpert.com's weekly email!
    Grab the latest MSE Deals
    Follow the Deals Team on Twitter: @MSE_Deals
    Get Martin's Money Tips
    Join the MSE Forum
Page 4
    • aardvaak
    • By aardvaak 3rd Jan 18, 6:03 PM
    • 4,285 Posts
    • 1,907 Thanks
    aardvaak
    If you do he possible won't be a friend anymore
    • trigger fish
    • By trigger fish 3rd Jan 18, 6:29 PM
    • 873 Posts
    • 791 Thanks
    trigger fish
    Ihis name comes up in conversation, you will be telling everyone the truth of the matter and warning them what a deceitful individual he is. Unless you do that, he'll never see sense or compensate you
    Originally posted by crmism
    I really wouldn't go down that route.

    You'd come across as bitter and twisted up and he's not there to defend himself.

    And some might think that actually you are the liar.
    • Gresp
    • By Gresp 3rd Jan 18, 7:07 PM
    • 27 Posts
    • 59 Thanks
    Gresp
    Are you still in touch with his brother and mum? Do they know the full story?

    I understand your concern about possibly driving them away, and I can understand if you don't want to drag innocent people into it - but maybe it's worth having a conversation with them?

    If they are good family friends (with any of your family members), they'll surely want a happy resolution too. They might know more about what happened to the lens, or be able to influence him to do the right thing.
    • Philjak13
    • By Philjak13 3rd Jan 18, 7:51 PM
    • 2 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    Philjak13
    What a liberty!! Your friend needs to understand that unfriending you on Facebook ( virtual reality) will not cover his debt to you.
    I would write to him ( actual reality and keep a copy) reminding him of his responsibility.
    The small claims court is easy to access as are the Sherrifs who enforce claims.
    • freddy27
    • By freddy27 3rd Jan 18, 8:05 PM
    • 58 Posts
    • 31 Thanks
    freddy27
    Nick
    You should certainly make all possible ways of his payment to replace your lens. He is prefaricating, and needs to be held to his responsibilites.:
    • happyinflorida
    • By happyinflorida 3rd Jan 18, 11:01 PM
    • 667 Posts
    • 560 Thanks
    happyinflorida
    Why have you left this 3 years????

    It's far too late to do anything.

    It doesn't say how your friend lost the lens but from the way this is written my bet is your friend has taken it and either sold it or is using it when they realised how much it was worth.

    Never let anyone get their hands on anything worth a lot of money, I trust no one except immediate family and that's because I know I can trust them. I don't give trust, it's earnt.

    You should have reported this to the insurance and made a claim immediately as your friend hasn't paid you back - which doesn't surprise me. I don't understand why you allowed them to say they'd pay you back and they wouldn't let you make a claim - that is very suspicious to me.

    You've learnt an expensive lesson from this.
    • chrisdy34
    • By chrisdy34 4th Jan 18, 1:09 PM
    • 8 Posts
    • 11 Thanks
    chrisdy34
    Do you have any other means of contact to attempt to reclaim the money? What have you done about this in the 3 years since the incident?
    I'm afraid you have left it too late to have any recourse other than Judge Rinder as someone suggested - but even that would
    mean your 'friend' agreeing to appear.I think many of his cases, particularly those involving family members, are set up for good TV viewing! You could send an official looking letter to suggest 'further action' will be taken if a payment is not made, or try to agree on an acceptable settlement figure as he did admit responsibility for the loss. Do you owe him for anything that he may consider offsets the debt??
    • chrisdy34
    • By chrisdy34 4th Jan 18, 1:17 PM
    • 8 Posts
    • 11 Thanks
    chrisdy34
    Now I have read back on the full story I think Judge Rinder is the best bet. I don't know if they pay you for appearing but it could end up a 'win win' if they do and you may salvage your friendship yet!
    • parkrunner
    • By parkrunner 4th Jan 18, 1:21 PM
    • 872 Posts
    • 1,294 Thanks
    parkrunner
    In what way is this a moral dilemma?
    • juliamarsh
    • By juliamarsh 4th Jan 18, 2:37 PM
    • 333 Posts
    • 391 Thanks
    juliamarsh
    I can;t see any messages that were also sent via facebook, as he doesn't appear to exist to me any more
    Originally posted by adibell
    Just to say that even if he has blocked you on facebook you should still be able to view any messages that have gone on between you in the past as long as you yourself have not deleted the conversation - have you checked?
    • Rex_Mundi
    • By Rex_Mundi 4th Jan 18, 3:42 PM
    • 5,340 Posts
    • 4,355 Thanks
    Rex_Mundi
    In what way is this a moral dilemma?
    Originally posted by parkrunner
    Adibell emailed the site team asking for advice.

    The team decided to post this to ask opinion from others.

    The dilemma as I see it is, do you forget the debt and put it down to experience or chase it down now as the law allows?

    Both options are valid, but what do you do?

    It is morally right to pay your debts. Is it morally right to enforce a debt on someone if they refuse?
    How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    Fish
    • andygb
    • By andygb 5th Jan 18, 8:36 AM
    • 12,009 Posts
    • 26,002 Thanks
    andygb
    This mate of his said that he could get the repair done by his work and he'd just bill it as one of his lenses. His friend seemed trustworthy,
    Originally posted by adibell

    Ah, the plot thickens.
    That is fraud - a criminal act, and you have named the company who will have been defrauded.
    Well done!
    No sympathy from me whatsoever.
    By the way, what sort of person who is willing to commit fraud can be called "trustworthy"?
    • parkrunner
    • By parkrunner 5th Jan 18, 12:19 PM
    • 872 Posts
    • 1,294 Thanks
    parkrunner
    Adibell emailed the site team asking for advice.

    The team decided to post this to ask opinion from others.

    The dilemma as I see it is, do you forget the debt and put it down to experience or chase it down now as the law allows?

    Both options are valid, but what do you do?

    It is morally right to pay your debts. Is it morally right to enforce a debt on someone if they refuse?
    Originally posted by Rex_Mundi
    Yes and yes that's why I don't see a moral dilemma.
    • chocolady
    • By chocolady 5th Jan 18, 12:57 PM
    • 100 Posts
    • 148 Thanks
    chocolady
    People who post these dilemmas are asking for help and advice. Being snarky and rude doesn't help anyone and will push others away from asking for help too. So many people on these forums are unpleasant.
    Originally posted by photosynthesize
    So true. Lately you get some really nasty pieces of work on here. Know allís that act superior when in fact they are just plain nasty. I reckon the guy took it as he has suddenly unfriended you. Seems a bit of a heel. Not sure I
    if you have proof but maybe you could make a small claim against him if you feel strongly enough.
    • trigger fish
    • By trigger fish 6th Jan 18, 6:59 PM
    • 873 Posts
    • 791 Thanks
    trigger fish
    Adibell emailed the site team asking for advice.

    The team decided to post this to ask opinion from others.

    The dilemma as I see it is, do you forget the debt and put it down to experience or chase it down now as the law allows?

    Both options are valid, but what do you do?

    It is morally right to pay your debts. Is it morally right to enforce a debt on someone if they refuse?
    Originally posted by Rex_Mundi
    I'd write it off to experience and forget it.

    But that's me.
    • cjdavies
    • By cjdavies 7th Jan 18, 5:08 AM
    • 2,967 Posts
    • 3,075 Thanks
    cjdavies
    Hello, I originally posted this question to MSE.
    Originally posted by adibell
    having read the full story, I would start the money claim process:
    https://www.gov.uk/make-court-claim-for-money

    No way I would write off £700.

    https://www.moneyclaimsuk.co.uk/small-claims.aspx

    How long can I wait until I make a claim?
    The Limitation Act 1980 sets time limits on taking claims to court. Usually you will have six years in which to take legal action.
    • meknowalot-51
    • By meknowalot-51 7th Jan 18, 10:31 AM
    • 169 Posts
    • 90 Thanks
    meknowalot-51
    Hello,in answer to your question,i can't see how you can force your friend to replace the lens,so the answers no.You've given a lot of detail in your response's but at the same time there's a lot that's not there.Some have said you can go to small claims court as long as it's within six years,based on the info you've given i wouldn't.Lets start with the lens,less than a month after you bought it you found the focusing ring to be faulty.No mention of taking it back to the seller,did you pay by visa?Who did you buy it from?Your very vague in some of what you say,"the camera lense went over to manchester for repair",post?did you take it?Did it go direct to the photographer or the brothers in the flat?Then it was delivered to the flat for you to pick up,how far is the flat from where you live?Who contacted you to say it was in the flat ready for collection?Why couldn't you get there for a few weeks?When you eventualy did go and collect the repaired lens one of the brothers and you searched for two hours,no joy.Second brother said he will be home soon to help look but you had to go,that was may 2014.Your message on here no.29,he said,"i'll pay you for it" then two and a half hours later no.50,he said,"i'll send you some money for it".If you go to small claims court at least get your story straight.Everyone of you seems to agree that the lens was in the flat,then it wasn't.One of three things could have happened,no 1,the brothers sold it knowing you wouldn't go to the police because they knew where you got it from.no.2,they genuinely misplaced it in the move they were prepairing for.or no.3,you took it as some sort of revenge over the band.My money is on no.1.What i have given you is what you asked for,you asked for peoples,thoughts,suggestions and maybe great ideas.It's good that your mum and there's are still good friends,perhaps a subtle aproach is required?
    Last edited by meknowalot-51; 07-01-2018 at 12:40 PM. Reason: additional question.
    • MissKaur
    • By MissKaur 7th Jan 18, 10:58 AM
    • 4 Posts
    • 10 Thanks
    MissKaur
    Tbf you have already lost the friend, you were a lil stupid but it wasnt your fault and you lost out. I wouldnt leave it because you have nothing to lose now anywsy...Maybe you could message him saying something along the lines of 'I know we haven't spoken for a while, just wondering did you ever find my camera lense?'

    To which it's likely he'll reply no to, then if you want you could just say 'wish I'd made that insurance claim you told me not to'

    And then if he hopefully replies not denying that, the messages could all be used as evidence at a small claims, so it's not a he said she said.

    You could even reply the third time and try your luck and ask for the money, if he says no then just say I'm seeking legal advice with a view to claim in the small claims court so he knows and he might decide to pay. If he does agree to pay give him a time limit and say if not paid by x I will claim.

    Just a thought.
    • gaving7095
    • By gaving7095 8th Jan 18, 1:16 PM
    • 142 Posts
    • 111 Thanks
    gaving7095
    It's too late now, surely - This should have been settled within a month at most. Seeing as he couldn't pay you should have just made the insurance claim if that's what you wanted to do.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

4,373Posts Today

8,324Users online

Martin's Twitter