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Results: take your surname in marraige

I find it a bit odd that she doesnt want to take your name? I would worry.

6.83% • 19 votes

Thats fine no reason to.

83.45% • 232 votes

Should take your surname

9.71% • 27 votes

You may not vote on this poll

278 votes in total.

  • FIRST POST
    • consumers_revenge
    • By consumers_revenge 23rd Dec 17, 11:59 AM
    • 3,054Posts
    • 1,607Thanks
    consumers_revenge
    Wife taking surname
    • #1
    • 23rd Dec 17, 11:59 AM
    Wife taking surname 23rd Dec 17 at 11:59 AM
    Hi,


    We have been talking about marriage recently ( weve been together for a long time and also 2 children )


    Whats come up is she wants to keep her own surname which I find odd and a bit disappointing. Also makes me believe shes not that interested.


    So out to you boys and girls what are your opinions please?

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    Last edited by MSE Andrea; 24-01-2018 at 10:02 AM.
Page 17
    • blue_eyed_girl123
    • By blue_eyed_girl123 26th Jan 18, 9:20 PM
    • 52 Posts
    • 109 Thanks
    blue_eyed_girl123
    I will get married in August next year and then graduate in November in my maiden name. I think itís just life now, the longer people have their surname, the more things itís attached to. You have different surnames now and it doesnít cause you to question her relationship. Let her keep it if she wants to , tell her how you feel if it bothers you so much, or take hers and youíll still both have the same .
    • ladybabe
    • By ladybabe 27th Jan 18, 3:46 PM
    • 360 Posts
    • 424 Thanks
    ladybabe
    cant even believe someone is seeing this as an issue, i mean what century do we live in taking a husbands name is so old fashioned and was done as essentially you became the possession of your husband once married; your wife can choose whatever name she wants to be known by. I personally did not like the idea as i am not someones possession so i kept my own name my husband never questioned my decision it had nothing to do with lack of commitment on my side. I had many friends marry over the years and all but me changed their names, quite a few of these are now divorced so nothing to do with the commitment issue.
    There are people so poor that the only thing they have is money
    • 23rdian
    • By 23rdian 29th Jan 18, 7:16 PM
    • 88 Posts
    • 37 Thanks
    23rdian
    I don't get why anyone wants to get married, especially as a man.

    Number one course of divorce...

    What exactly is it giving you? Is it just to please her?
    • Loz01
    • By Loz01 29th Jan 18, 9:42 PM
    • 1,502 Posts
    • 3,321 Thanks
    Loz01
    A bloke I know said this about his girlfriend, so I said "thats fine, you can have her surname instead!!" to which of course he replied "WHAT? no i dont want to change MINE!".... well it works both ways!!!!
    More people have been slaughtered in the name of religion than for any other single reason. That, my friends, is a true perversion - Harvey Milk
    • tenchy
    • By tenchy 29th Jan 18, 9:52 PM
    • 241 Posts
    • 59 Thanks
    tenchy
    cant even believe someone is seeing this as an issue, i mean what century do we live in taking a husbands name is so old fashioned and was done as essentially you became the possession of your husband once married; your wife can choose whatever name she wants to be known by. I personally did not like the idea as i am not someones possession so i kept my own name my husband never questioned my decision it had nothing to do with lack of commitment on my side. I had many friends marry over the years and all but me changed their names, quite a few of these are now divorced so nothing to do with the commitment issue.
    Originally posted by ladybabe

    It's not old fashioned. Most women do it. It makes sense, especially when you have children.
    • Robots
    • By Robots 12th Feb 18, 1:23 PM
    • 14 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    Robots
    Hi,

    We have been talking about marriage recently ( weve been together for a long time and also 2 children )
    Originally posted by consumers_revenge
    Together a long time and two children doesn't suggest she's not interested IMO.

    I'm a long-time divorcee and am now engaged, I don't think I'll take my partner's surname as I like my own name and identity. I feel it's outdated to expect women to take a mans surname.
    DMP since February 2016
    DFD 2023 (fingers crossed)
    • unholyangel
    • By unholyangel 17th Feb 18, 4:34 PM
    • 11,897 Posts
    • 9,159 Thanks
    unholyangel
    It's not old fashioned. Most women do it. It makes sense, especially when you have children.
    Originally posted by tenchy
    It is old fashioned.

    Although I'm interested to hear your explanation on why it makes sense for a woman to change her name but not for a man to change his.

    Its okay, I'll wait


    Thanks heavens we're not limited to what "most women" do else we'd still belong to our husbands, have no right to enter contracts, no right to vote, our husbands could rape us or beat us without consequence etc all while being stay at home mums and reliant on our husbands for housekeeping money.

    Equality is achieved by making changes, not by maintaining the status quo.
    Money doesn't solve poverty.....it creates it.
    • FinanciallyPerplexed
    • By FinanciallyPerplexed 17th Feb 18, 5:14 PM
    • 21 Posts
    • 20 Thanks
    FinanciallyPerplexed
    My wife kept her own name. I had absolutely no issue with it. Why should I?

    It's not an issue with having children. To whom would it be? Schools, etc, don't give tuppence. My children use my name - but that was only by default.

    The only person who did have an issue was my mother-in-law. At every opportunity she would tell folk 'They're married!!!'. She didn't want anyone to think we were Living In Sin. :-) My own mother was thrilled.

    Meh. Sometimes you have to put people right when they make the default assumption. But then I would happily answer to my wife's name if I couldn't be bothered with correcting someone.
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