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    • Sirlaughalot
    • By Sirlaughalot 16th Dec 17, 8:19 PM
    • 226Posts
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    Sirlaughalot
    Terminally ill brother - Family members in need of advice
    • #1
    • 16th Dec 17, 8:19 PM
    Terminally ill brother - Family members in need of advice 16th Dec 17 at 8:19 PM
    Hi Guys,

    My 70-year-old brother has just been diagnosed as terminally ill and bedridden at home and is being cared for by his wife(doing a fantastic job) who is now working PT as their income/pension is above the threshold to get free home care assistance.

    To further complicate their financial position their twin daughters have just started university(of which we are all extremely proud as they are the first members of our family to achieve this in our living memory)but the combined accommodation cost for both is well over £1000+ per month.

    Whilst my brother has left most things covered financially including Power of attorney, wills and probate issues after he passes away.

    My sister - in - law has had a terrible year with the loss of her mother in May so i`m trying to help as much as i can with general help and maintenance in the house but this kind of financial help is out of my budget.

    Thanks to this site and MSE members i am quite financially savvy now and have tried to help them where i can

    If anyone can help regarding the financial issues and maybe how to get help with my niece's accommodation costs we will be truly grateful.

    Many Thanks
Page 2
    • Sirlaughalot
    • By Sirlaughalot 17th Dec 17, 9:04 PM
    • 226 Posts
    • 572 Thanks
    Sirlaughalot
    I take your point but if their mother's doing the caring and also worrying about funding them, as adults they really ought to be pulling their weight in this situation.

    Unless they're doing Medicine or similar, most degree courses allow ample time for some part time work alongside studying.
    Originally posted by Tabbytabitha
    My sister in law is a Nurse and has worked incredibly hard for the NHS with over 30 years service. From memory, i cant recall her having any personal sickness time off other than family funerals, pregnancy and looking after her daughters as they were growing up.

    Both daughters like their mum are both studying medicine at university. Their intelligence obviously comes from their mothers side of the family
    Last edited by Sirlaughalot; 17-12-2017 at 9:54 PM. Reason: grammer
    • Sirlaughalot
    • By Sirlaughalot 17th Dec 17, 9:38 PM
    • 226 Posts
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    Sirlaughalot
    I suspect the issue is they've got the minimum loan due to the original household income but are in the expensive halls of residence, so parents are paying the accommodation costs x2.

    As an idea of costs, we looked recently for our son, he will get the min loan of just under £4K. cheapest campus accommodation at where he'd like to go was £6,300.
    Originally posted by Spendless
    Yes, this is true. Mom wanted the girls to study hard and was willing to put in many extra hours as a nurse in the next few years, before she herself was due to retire, so that the girls could give 100% to their studies and mom would foot the bill.

    Unfortunately for us life has not gone to plan

    But we're nowhere near as bad off as some people`s situation and are grateful for where we are and very thankful of help and support
    Last edited by Sirlaughalot; 17-12-2017 at 10:04 PM.
    • lika_86
    • By lika_86 17th Dec 17, 9:56 PM
    • 1,222 Posts
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    lika_86
    Yes, this is true. Mom wanted the girls to study hard and was willing to put in many extra hours as a nurse so that the girls could give 100% to their studies and mom would foot the bills.

    Unfortunately for us life does n`t always go to plan
    Originally posted by Sirlaughalot
    If they aren't already in the cheapest accommodation there the possibility of enquiring with the university about them switching to cheaper accommodation in the new year? Lots of students drop out in the first term and given the circumstances the university may allow them to switch (assuming it's university accommodation not private).

    ETA: This may be helpful, there is the suggestion that student finance can be reassessed - https://www4.ntu.ac.uk/student_services/fees_finance/changes_affecting_finance/household_income_change/index.html
    Last edited by lika_86; 17-12-2017 at 10:06 PM.
    • Sirlaughalot
    • By Sirlaughalot 17th Dec 17, 10:06 PM
    • 226 Posts
    • 572 Thanks
    Sirlaughalot
    from what the girls have told me they have to stay on campus for the first year
    • lika_86
    • By lika_86 17th Dec 17, 10:13 PM
    • 1,222 Posts
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    lika_86
    from what the girls have told me they have to stay on campus for the first year
    Originally posted by Sirlaughalot
    That may be true but the difference in university accommodation varies massively, some is expensive and fancy with private bathrooms and nice amenities and some is more basic (and accordingly cheaper) but means sharing a bathroom etc. It's an easy way to save money if they could switch down a level.
    • Tabbytabitha
    • By Tabbytabitha 17th Dec 17, 10:26 PM
    • 858 Posts
    • 1,695 Thanks
    Tabbytabitha
    Yes, this is true. Mom wanted the girls to study hard and was willing to put in many extra hours as a nurse in the next few years, before she herself was due to retire, so that the girls could give 100% to their studies and mom would foot the bill.

    Unfortunately for us life has not gone to plan

    But we're nowhere near as bad off as some people`s situation and are grateful for where we are and very thankful of help and support
    Originally posted by Sirlaughalot
    My sister in law is a Nurse and has worked incredibly hard for the NHS with over 30 years service. From memory, i cant recall her having any personal sickness time off other than family funerals, pregnancy and looking after her daughters as they were growing up.

    Both daughters like their mum are both studying medicine at university. Their intelligence obviously comes from their mothers side of the family
    Originally posted by Sirlaughalot
    Studying Medicine means to be training to be a doctor, not a nurse.

    If your nieces are studying Nursing it may well be possible to do shifts at their local hospital's nursing bank which will help them financially now and also look good on their CVs. If they are actually studying Medicine, part time work does become more of a problem.
    • Spendless
    • By Spendless 17th Dec 17, 10:50 PM
    • 19,830 Posts
    • 32,381 Thanks
    Spendless
    Yes, this is true. Mom wanted the girls to study hard and was willing to put in many extra hours as a nurse in the next few years, before she herself was due to retire, so that the girls could give 100% to their studies and mom would foot the bill.

    Unfortunately for us life has not gone to plan

    But we're nowhere near as bad off as some people`s situation and are grateful for where we are and very thankful of help and support
    Originally posted by Sirlaughalot
    When we went to an Open day recently with our DS, there was someone to talk to about financial matters. I'm guessing there would be the same or similar at your Neices respective Unis. I'd suggest they go and talk to someone about their current circumstances and see what support, financial and otherwise is available.

    Swapping to a cheaper accommodation may not be easy, because you've signed up to an agreement and you can be liable for the rent if you leave. There's been a couple of threads on the student board on this forum about this recently.
    • Tabbytabitha
    • By Tabbytabitha 18th Dec 17, 9:21 AM
    • 858 Posts
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    Tabbytabitha
    When we went to an Open day recently with our DS, there was someone to talk to about financial matters. I'm guessing there would be the same or similar at your Neices respective Unis. I'd suggest they go and talk to someone about their current circumstances and see what support, financial and otherwise is available.

    Swapping to a cheaper accommodation may not be easy, because you've signed up to an agreement and you can be liable for the rent if you leave. There's been a couple of threads on the student board on this forum about this recently.
    Originally posted by Spendless
    It may not be possible this year but worth asking about. If it's university owned accommodation, they may be more likely to allow it on compassionate grounds. Also, it won't be long until students are making arrangements for next year's accommodation and the students need to realise that money is tight and they have to take that into account when making their plans.
    We wouldn't have modern computers without Dr Alan Turing - most modern computers are built on the Turing Machine architecture that he came up with.
    Originally posted by MothballsWallet
    • Savvy_Sue
    • By Savvy_Sue 18th Dec 17, 9:31 AM
    • 37,968 Posts
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    Savvy_Sue
    While the idea of the nieces looking for work sounds good in principle, I'm not sure now is the time and I'd first take up the suggestions of getting their loan re-assessed and looking for additional support through the university on compassionate grounds.

    If they do take up jobs, there's likely to be disruption when Dad dies, and when you're still quite new in a job that's not what you need.
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    • cyantist
    • By cyantist 18th Dec 17, 11:38 AM
    • 494 Posts
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    cyantist
    I'm very sorry about your brother.

    The University I work at has a financial assistance scheme - I am sure every Uni has one so the nieces should definitely apply to this. Obviously getting the loan reassessed would be the first step, as they wouldn't be able to access this fund if they could take out additional loan.

    I'm sure they've done this and other people have suggested it as well, but they should definitely tell their personal tutor about the problems. Medicine isn't an easy degree and if there are issues regarding grades at the end of the year then personal circumstances like this can be taken into account.

    I've never known of a Uni where you have to stay on campus for the first year - what about students who live at home? However as they will have signed up to live on campus for a year they can't just move out. Potentially swapping to a cheaper one like lika suggested is a great idea they could consider.

    And at Universities there are a lot of ways students can make extra money without being tied into a regular job.
    • cte1111
    • By cte1111 18th Dec 17, 11:54 AM
    • 7,230 Posts
    • 381,108 Thanks
    cte1111
    It sounds possible that your brother and sister-in-law were aiming to pay for their daughters' university costs themselves, rather than them taking out Student Loans. If so, then the best option for now might well be for them both to take out the maximum loans, as many students will have no choice but to do.

    You can only really help if you know all the facts. We can all give advice but without knowing the family's income, savings, current benefits and other information, it is limited how helpful we can be.
    • Tabbytabitha
    • By Tabbytabitha 18th Dec 17, 1:08 PM
    • 858 Posts
    • 1,695 Thanks
    Tabbytabitha
    While the idea of the nieces looking for work sounds good in principle, I'm not sure now is the time and I'd first take up the suggestions of getting their loan re-assessed and looking for additional support through the university on compassionate grounds.

    If they do take up jobs, there's likely to be disruption when Dad dies, and when you're still quite new in a job that's not what you need.
    Originally posted by Savvy_Sue
    That's one of the reasons I suggested shifts with the nursing bank. Not only is it relevant to their futures but you do shifts on an ad hoc basis and they could turn down shifts if there was a crisis of some kind.
    • Spendless
    • By Spendless 18th Dec 17, 7:11 PM
    • 19,830 Posts
    • 32,381 Thanks
    Spendless
    I'm very sorry about your brother.

    The University I work at has a financial assistance scheme - I am sure every Uni has one so the nieces should definitely apply to this. Obviously getting the loan reassessed would be the first step, as they wouldn't be able to access this fund if they could take out additional loan.

    I'm sure they've done this and other people have suggested it as well, but they should definitely tell their personal tutor about the problems. Medicine isn't an easy degree and if there are issues regarding grades at the end of the year then personal circumstances like this can be taken into account.

    I've never known of a Uni where you have to stay on campus for the first year - what about students who live at home? However as they will have signed up to live on campus for a year they can't just move out. Potentially swapping to a cheaper one like lika suggested is a great idea they could consider.

    And at Universities there are a lot of ways students can make extra money without being tied into a regular job.
    Originally posted by cyantist
    I'mnot reading it that way. I'm reading it as the girls have gone to a Uni away from home and often in the first year the students live on campus for the first year.

    When we looked round our son's choice we asked if you had to. No you don't have to, as you say some students live at home but finding someone to share with in alternative student accommodation when you don't know anyone would be more difficult that in subsequent years.

    I was surprised to discover how expensive campus accommodation was (I was under the impression it was the cheapest!).

    It's not made clear to parents about the maintenance loan. The amount the student can borrow is based on the household income. I suspect in this case the parents were high earners enough to mean that the girls only qualified for the minimum maintenance loan which wasn't enough to pay for their accommodation, so to save the having to find work for the first year whilst they settled into their studies, mum and Dad said they'd pay the rent. (we've made exactly this offer to our son due to his loan versus accommodation costs).

    We could do with knowing some facts an figures from the OP though.
    • Amanda65
    • By Amanda65 27th Dec 17, 4:17 PM
    • 1,993 Posts
    • 3,709 Thanks
    Amanda65
    I'm so sorry to hear about your brother's diagnosis but am sure his family are very grateful to have your support.

    He can get a DS1500 form from his GP which will enable him to claim certain benefits such as Attendance Allowance quickly. There's information on the Marie Curie site here www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/benefits-entitlements/living-with-terminal-illness/special-rules

    Your nieces should speak to their uni and advise of the circumstances as many can access grants to assist them. They should also contact Student Finance immediately and get re-assessed.

    Finally, depending on the line of work your brother / sister-in-law does or did work in there may be an occupational benevolent fund that could give some financial support. If you want to either message on here or PM me I may be able to point you in the direction of one that can help.

    I hope that your family manages to have an enjoyable Christmas and makes lots of memories for the future.
    Last edited by Amanda65; 27-12-2017 at 4:20 PM. Reason: Add information.
    • Sirlaughalot
    • By Sirlaughalot 3rd Jan 18, 4:30 PM
    • 226 Posts
    • 572 Thanks
    Sirlaughalot
    Happy new year guys and thanks for the great help you have given my family
    • Sirlaughalot
    • By Sirlaughalot 3rd Jan 18, 4:44 PM
    • 226 Posts
    • 572 Thanks
    Sirlaughalot
    Firstly having been assessed by the NHS enablement team we my brother is indeed entitled to attendance allowance��
    My sil has become very stressed out while trying to work and care for my brother so she has reluctantly taken the advice from her nursing colleagues and has taken time of work.
    I think my sils income and brothers pension may be above that which allows some kind of extra allowance for their twin daughters at Uni. I’m not sure what that figure should be if any one knows could you please post.
    In the meantime I’m trying to cut the cost of the families bills by doing some MSE money saving for them.My Sil has lasting power of attorney but I’m still not sure where their bills are located as this was done by my brother and generally by email that we don’t have access to.
    Does the LPOA only come into effect when my brother has left us? Does things like no claims bonus for things like house insurance get transferred to my Sil
    Last edited by Sirlaughalot; 03-01-2018 at 10:23 PM.
    • Primrose
    • By Primrose 3rd Jan 18, 5:38 PM
    • 7,909 Posts
    • 27,583 Thanks
    Primrose
    The LPOA is only valid while your brother in law is alive. It dies with him and any subsequent administration has to be undertaken by the Executor of his Will. I assume he has one? If not this would seem to be an urgent necessity as all kinds of problems could occur if he dies intestate. Solicitors can visit him at home to draw up a will if he is bedridden. If this needs to be done, impress on them them need for speed.

    As regards insurance and utilities, these are usually in one person’s name. Can you see the bills? They would normally be addressed to Mr & Mrs xxx for any accounts/utilities/council tax in joint names. If the bills are addressed to Mr X, assume the account is in his name only. Some organisations and utilities will only open accounts In single names. It’s worth contacting them now , explaining the situation and getting the accounts transferred now to the wife,s name to avoid hassle later but probably this can only be done by the person with authority to act for him, ie his wife if she is the named person with Power of Attorney.
    • Sirlaughalot
    • By Sirlaughalot 6th Jan 18, 8:35 PM
    • 226 Posts
    • 572 Thanks
    Sirlaughalot
    The LPOA is only valid while your brother in law is alive. It dies with him and any subsequent administration has to be undertaken by the Executor of his Will. I assume he has one? If not this would seem to be an urgent necessity as all kinds of problems could occur if he dies intestate. Solicitors can visit him at home to draw up a will if he is bedridden. If this needs to be done, impress on them them need for speed.

    As regards insurance and utilities, these are usually in one personís name. Can you see the bills? They would normally be addressed to Mr & Mrs xxx for any accounts/utilities/council tax in joint names. If the bills are addressed to Mr X, assume the account is in his name only. Some organisations and utilities will only open accounts In single names. Itís worth contacting them now , explaining the situation and getting the accounts transferred now to the wife,s name to avoid hassle later but probably this can only be done by the person with authority to act for him, ie his wife if she is the named person with Power of Attorney.
    Originally posted by Primrose
    Thank. My sil has both LPOA and executor responsibilityís
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