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  • FIRST POST
    • JasonLVC
    • By JasonLVC 12th Dec 17, 9:24 AM
    • 15,227Posts
    • 37,660Thanks
    JasonLVC
    Political themed Christmas Jokes
    • #1
    • 12th Dec 17, 9:24 AM
    Political themed Christmas Jokes 12th Dec 17 at 9:24 AM
    https://news.sky.com/story/stable-may-gag-tops-christmas-joke-poll-11167217

    Top 10 news stories of the year based jokes such as

    "Why did Donald trump keep putting loads of decorations on his Christmas Tree?" - Because people kept saying to him "Moron".

    "Why don't Southern Rail drivers share their advent calendars?" - Because they like to open the doors themselves.

    Jeremy Corbyn isn't having sprouts with his dinner this Christmas because he wants to give peas a chance.


    So, can we add to this list of official jokes with some of our own festive news based jokes?
    Anger ruins joy, it steals the goodness of my mind. Forces me to say terrible things. Overcoming anger brings peace of mind, a mind without regret. If I overcome anger, I will be delightful and loved by everyone.
Page 1
    • pogofish
    • By pogofish 12th Dec 17, 11:16 AM
    • 8,037 Posts
    • 8,227 Thanks
    pogofish
    • #2
    • 12th Dec 17, 11:16 AM
    • #2
    • 12th Dec 17, 11:16 AM
    Wouldn't an MSE "Funny Forum" be a nice thing..?
    • Marisco
    • By Marisco 12th Dec 17, 11:40 AM
    • 30,775 Posts
    • 87,777 Thanks
    Marisco
    • #3
    • 12th Dec 17, 11:40 AM
    • #3
    • 12th Dec 17, 11:40 AM
    Wouldn't an MSE "Funny Forum" be a nice thing..?
    Originally posted by pogofish
    You keep posting this everytime someone puts something you think should be on another board. Now it might come as a surprise to you, but some of us don't go on other boards, or at least like me, just one or two others, where they certainly don't have jokes. So it's good to have a bit of lightness amongs all the heavy subjects
    • tommix
    • By tommix 12th Dec 17, 11:46 AM
    • 36,066 Posts
    • 143,942 Thanks
    tommix
    • #4
    • 12th Dec 17, 11:46 AM
    • #4
    • 12th Dec 17, 11:46 AM
    Here's a few tory jokes..Merry Christmas!

    Last edited by tommix; 12-12-2017 at 11:49 AM.
    • fairy lights
    • By fairy lights 12th Dec 17, 11:49 AM
    • 8,408 Posts
    • 28,299 Thanks
    fairy lights
    • #5
    • 12th Dec 17, 11:49 AM
    • #5
    • 12th Dec 17, 11:49 AM
    Why did Teresa Mays Christmas cards fall on the floor?
    Her cabinet wasn't stable.
    • tommix
    • By tommix 12th Dec 17, 11:55 AM
    • 36,066 Posts
    • 143,942 Thanks
    tommix
    • #6
    • 12th Dec 17, 11:55 AM
    • #6
    • 12th Dec 17, 11:55 AM
    Q) What's Boris Johnsons favourite Christmas Movie?

    A) Dumbo


    Q) What's Damian Greens Favourite Movie?

    A) Porn Free.

    • tommix
    • By tommix 12th Dec 17, 12:03 PM
    • 36,066 Posts
    • 143,942 Thanks
    tommix
    • #7
    • 12th Dec 17, 12:03 PM
    • #7
    • 12th Dec 17, 12:03 PM
    Q) What does David Cameron enjoy most with his Turkey?

    A) Pigs in Blankets and Pork stuffing.

    • JasonLVC
    • By JasonLVC 12th Dec 17, 1:46 PM
    • 15,227 Posts
    • 37,660 Thanks
    JasonLVC
    • #8
    • 12th Dec 17, 1:46 PM
    • #8
    • 12th Dec 17, 1:46 PM
    You keep posting this everytime someone puts something you think should be on another board. Now it might come as a surprise to you, but some of us don't go on other boards, or at least like me, just one or two others, where they certainly don't have jokes. So it's good to have a bit of lightness amongs all the heavy subjects
    Originally posted by Marisco
    Which is why I posted it here, its a political joke thread and there are enough politically opinionated people here at DT to generate an entirely different set of jokes to the more "safe" off the Funny Money thread.
    Anger ruins joy, it steals the goodness of my mind. Forces me to say terrible things. Overcoming anger brings peace of mind, a mind without regret. If I overcome anger, I will be delightful and loved by everyone.
    • JasonLVC
    • By JasonLVC 12th Dec 17, 1:47 PM
    • 15,227 Posts
    • 37,660 Thanks
    JasonLVC
    • #9
    • 12th Dec 17, 1:47 PM
    • #9
    • 12th Dec 17, 1:47 PM
    See, I knew Tommix wouldn't let the team down!


    Excellent efforts Tommix.
    Anger ruins joy, it steals the goodness of my mind. Forces me to say terrible things. Overcoming anger brings peace of mind, a mind without regret. If I overcome anger, I will be delightful and loved by everyone.
    • tommix
    • By tommix 12th Dec 17, 4:23 PM
    • 36,066 Posts
    • 143,942 Thanks
    tommix
    See, I knew Tommix wouldn't let the team down!


    Excellent efforts Tommix.
    Originally posted by JasonLVC
    Thanks Jason..They are originals too..Not lifted from joke sites. I do pride myself on originality. Heres one I made earlier..

    A Tory, a Ukipper and a Liberal walk into a Bar. Barman says..
    "Mr Blair! How lovely to see you!"

    • Head The Ball
    • By Head The Ball 12th Dec 17, 4:34 PM
    • 3,036 Posts
    • 7,042 Thanks
    Head The Ball
    How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?


    No Brussels.
    Who'll remember the ones
    who only rode in them to die
    All their lives are just a smudge
    of smoke against the sky
    • Head The Ball
    • By Head The Ball 12th Dec 17, 4:42 PM
    • 3,036 Posts
    • 7,042 Thanks
    Head The Ball
    Take your pick:


    Why are Jeremy Corbyn's Christmas cards on the floor?

    His cabinet collapsed.


    Why are Theresa May's Christmas cards on the floor?

    Her cabinet collapsed.
    Who'll remember the ones
    who only rode in them to die
    All their lives are just a smudge
    of smoke against the sky
    • peter_the_piper
    • By peter_the_piper 12th Dec 17, 4:43 PM
    • 26,515 Posts
    • 33,978 Thanks
    peter_the_piper
    No!!!!! how can we have Christmas dinner without sprouts.
    I'd rather be an Optimist and be proved wrong than a Pessimist and be proved right.
    • Jackmydad
    • By Jackmydad 12th Dec 17, 4:56 PM
    • 1,664 Posts
    • 3,915 Thanks
    Jackmydad
    The Labour party is the turkey no one buys, tucked into the extreme left of the window as it is.
    Last edited by Jackmydad; 12-12-2017 at 6:16 PM.
    • tommix
    • By tommix 12th Dec 17, 5:14 PM
    • 36,066 Posts
    • 143,942 Thanks
    tommix
    Q) What's Damian Greens favourite vegetable?

    A) Porn on the Cob.

    • sillygoose
    • By sillygoose 12th Dec 17, 5:46 PM
    • 4,239 Posts
    • 5,087 Thanks
    sillygoose
    How many Jeremy Corbyns does it take to change a lightbulb?


    Why bother, there is no electricity, all the freshly nationalised power workers are out on strike for more biscuits at tea time, jam ones, not cheap plain ones.
    • VfM4meplse
    • By VfM4meplse 12th Dec 17, 10:20 PM
    • 24,530 Posts
    • 51,900 Thanks
    VfM4meplse
    How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?


    No Brussels.
    Originally posted by Head The Ball
    Result, Id say
    Value-for-money-for-me-puhleeze!

    "No man is worth, crawling on the earth"- adapted from Bob Crewe and Bob Gaudio

    Hope is not a strategy ...A child is for life, not just 18 years....Don't get me started on the NHS, because you won't win...If in doubt, don't pull out... I love chaz-ing!
    • MothballsWallet
    • By MothballsWallet 6th Jan 18, 7:13 PM
    • 11,841 Posts
    • 15,659 Thanks
    MothballsWallet
    Trump pulls a Christmas cracker - is disappointed his prize isn't a naked buxom blonde who wants to sleep with him.
    I live in the UK City of Culture 2021

    Married to an immigrant.

    Always ask yourself one question: What would Gibbs do?
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