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  • FIRST POST
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 4th Dec 17, 4:00 PM
    • 525Posts
    • 6,242Thanks
    117pauline
    Mindful or Mind full?
    • #1
    • 4th Dec 17, 4:00 PM
    Mindful or Mind full? 4th Dec 17 at 4:00 PM
    So....... life appears to have changed today!

    I came downstairs to a letter from my partner saying he needed time away. After 11 plus years. Not sure how I feel.

    At the moment I need to get a job. Not as easy as that sounds as I have quite a problem leaving the house at all. I am waiting to get to the top of the list for some CBT help. I also have some chronic conditions too which have hindered our relationship.

    As you can imagine, I am not sure what will happen. My plan is to do nothing rash but try to pay down my loan as much as possible. Then I am going to have to find somewhere to live etc.

    I did say I was going to start a diary so I think this is one hell of a way to get started!

    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
Page 8
    • WannabeFree
    • By WannabeFree 1st Jan 18, 11:47 AM
    • 397 Posts
    • 5,616 Thanks
    WannabeFree
    Happy new year Pauline

    x

    Only a pm away if you need anything x
    “Once you hit rock bottom, that's where you perfectly stand; That's your chance of restarting, but restarting the right way.”
    • Munchin
    • By Munchin 1st Jan 18, 1:18 PM
    • 2,160 Posts
    • 6,521 Thanks
    Munchin
    Hi Pauline

    I didn't realise you had started a diary but I'm sorry for the circumstances. Hope 2018 is good to you and I will be cheering from the sidelines
    • DebtFreeDuo
    • By DebtFreeDuo 1st Jan 18, 1:33 PM
    • 717 Posts
    • 3,758 Thanks
    DebtFreeDuo
    Happy new year Pauline

    x

    Only a pm away if you need anything x
    Originally posted by WannabeFree
    Same applies here. Good to hear you were successful with some of your targets. Looking forward to hearing your next set of goals.
    Debt free by Christmas 2018 #004: 2235.88/7445.69
    £2018 in 2018 #25: 25/2018
    SPC 586
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 1st Jan 18, 1:45 PM
    • 2,914 Posts
    • 16,913 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    A good start to 2018 Pauline, keep up the good work
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Then save up for repairs to the house.
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £36.76/Loss of Income Fund £0
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 1st Jan 18, 9:12 PM
    • 525 Posts
    • 6,242 Thanks
    117pauline
    So I have had a doing day not a planning day.

    Managed a walk, ate proper meals including salad, vegetables and fruit, talked to my mum, fed birds etc.

    Another night without the tablet upstairs and I am sure I am noticing a difference in my sleeping patterns.

    The most important thing is to master the anxiety that is making my life a misery. The only way to do that is to stop making excuses.

    So......

    Week 1 2018 plan
    • out once a day
    • eat two proper meals per day
    • 20 minutes cleaning per day
    • speak to one temp agency about employment
    • Fabbing - shower, hair, jewellery, body lotion etc
    • make and keep hairdresser appointment
    • surveys - work out which are worth doing

    Not a difficult list but I need to get back into a working routine

    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 1st Jan 18, 9:17 PM
    • 2,914 Posts
    • 16,913 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    You've done really well today Pauline and that is a great list . Self care is very important.
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Then save up for repairs to the house.
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £36.76/Loss of Income Fund £0
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 1st Jan 18, 9:17 PM
    • 49,569 Posts
    • 186,542 Thanks
    beanielou
    Good list.
    I will join you if I may.
    I need to get back into a routine.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 1st Jan 18, 9:19 PM
    • 4,993 Posts
    • 30,985 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    I do like the word fabbing Pauline, sounds great

    They say it's the blue light from tablets, phones, etc that disturb sleep, so they need to be switched off. So well done leaving it downstairs.

    I think the anxiety might take a little longer to conquer but you're heading in the right direction by tackling it.
    Virtual Sealed Pot 2018 £106.40
    Jan NSDs 6 Jan AFDs 6
    Weight loss 2.5/10LBS Emergency Fund £1685.31/£10,000
    April holiday £0/£900
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 1st Jan 18, 10:43 PM
    • 1,427 Posts
    • 8,247 Thanks
    Seasidegal58
    Well done with cutting down on the tablet Pauline - tablets are very insidious I know.

    Even if you manage one item a day off your list for the time being it’s a step in the right direction.

    X
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017

    Next Scrimpy Goal - Save for New Kitchen!
    Surveys: PA: £15.78/£20; One Poll: £15.40/£40: Opinium: £10.50/£25; Panelbase: £5/£10; You Gov: 1625/5000 points (£50)
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 2nd Jan 18, 5:10 PM
    • 1,095 Posts
    • 6,007 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    Happy New Year Pauline, doing anything is better than doing nothing . Keep up your progress and you will succeed.
    Nov 2017 CC1 £3209 CC2 £308

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 2nd Jan 18, 5:16 PM
    • 753 Posts
    • 10,924 Thanks
    Toni'sfriend
    I do like the word fabbing Pauline, sounds great
    I like that as well, Pauline. I think I might join you on that one. Anything that makes us feel better about ourselves has to be good.
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 2nd Jan 18, 5:55 PM
    • 525 Posts
    • 6,242 Thanks
    117pauline
    Fabbing is a great idea however I can't claim it. It comes from the Health and Beauty Forum
    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5766481

    I have

    Shower, jewellery, lotion applied
    Been out
    Been to the library and sorted out a fine wrongly imposed
    CV improving
    20 mins cleaning
    Proper food all day
    NSD - 2 already this year
    Several surveys done
    Made hair appointment
    Tablet remained downstairs

    I hope everyone found work not too onerous

    Take care, thanks for popping by
    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 2nd Jan 18, 6:01 PM
    • 49,569 Posts
    • 186,542 Thanks
    beanielou
    Well done on todays achievements
    Way way better than mine.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • DebtFreeDuo
    • By DebtFreeDuo 2nd Jan 18, 6:14 PM
    • 717 Posts
    • 3,758 Thanks
    DebtFreeDuo
    Well done Pauline, you have achieved a lot more than I have. You remind me that I really should start taking better care of myself, especially eating proper meals.
    Debt free by Christmas 2018 #004: 2235.88/7445.69
    £2018 in 2018 #25: 25/2018
    SPC 586
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 2nd Jan 18, 7:48 PM
    • 2,914 Posts
    • 16,913 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    You've got loads done today Pauline
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Then save up for repairs to the house.
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £36.76/Loss of Income Fund £0
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 2nd Jan 18, 9:11 PM
    • 1,427 Posts
    • 8,247 Thanks
    Seasidegal58
    Keep at it Pauline. You’re doing good.....
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017

    Next Scrimpy Goal - Save for New Kitchen!
    Surveys: PA: £15.78/£20; One Poll: £15.40/£40: Opinium: £10.50/£25; Panelbase: £5/£10; You Gov: 1625/5000 points (£50)
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 4th Jan 18, 9:09 PM
    • 525 Posts
    • 6,242 Thanks
    117pauline
    Oddly, I haven't had a takeaway for the last month so I'm hoping I can keep that up. I've eaten well again today and only bought some milk. It's only a ten minute walk to the shops but my word it was freezing due to the wind. It was my first purchase of the year.

    Tomorrow I have arranged to have a cut and colour plus then seeing a friend for a drink (tea). It's made me have a panic but I am determined not to keep making and subsequently cancelling arrangements. I hate having my hair cut but it is important I start looking after my appearance.

    My friend lost her father at the beginning of the week. I am really proud of myself that I kept in touch and then called her today. I then found some information out for her and arranged to see her as she wanted to get out of the house. Usually I would avoid this type of contact because I feel so hopeless but I managed.

    The tablet downstairs is going well. I have noticed a slight improvement in my sleep patterns. I did however cancel my doctor's appointment because I feel like I am wasting her time.

    Plan is to use up food in cupboards and freezer plus fresh fruit and milk. I haven't managed to find many surveys yet unfortunately. I have even done the fabbing bit too.

    Take care everyone, thanks for popping by
    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 4th Jan 18, 9:19 PM
    • 1,095 Posts
    • 6,007 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    I love having my hair done, always feel much better after it’s done. Meeting friends is highly recommended, for getting you out. You don’t have to pretend someone you aren’t in their company . Enjoy your day tomorrow.
    Nov 2017 CC1 £3209 CC2 £308

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 4th Jan 18, 9:27 PM
    • 2,914 Posts
    • 16,913 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Oddly, I haven't had a takeaway for the last month so I'm hoping I can keep that up. I've eaten well again today and only bought some milk. It's only a ten minute walk to the shops but my word it was freezing due to the wind. It was my first purchase of the year.

    Tomorrow I have arranged to have a cut and colour plus then seeing a friend for a drink (tea). It's made me have a panic but I am determined not to keep making and subsequently cancelling arrangements. I hate having my hair cut but it is important I start looking after my appearance.

    My friend lost her father at the beginning of the week. I am really proud of myself that I kept in touch and then called her today. I then found some information out for her and arranged to see her as she wanted to get out of the house. Usually I would avoid this type of contact because I feel so hopeless but I managed.

    The tablet downstairs is going well. I have noticed a slight improvement in my sleep patterns. I did however cancel my doctor's appointment because I feel like I am wasting her time.

    Plan is to use up food in cupboards and freezer plus fresh fruit and milk. I haven't managed to find many surveys yet unfortunately. I have even done the fabbing bit too.

    Take care everyone, thanks for popping by
    Pauline
    Originally posted by 117pauline
    Having a cut and colour and meeting a friend is a great idea . Glad you managed to get out to the shop too. The more of this type of thing you do, the better you will feel .

    You definitely would not have been wasting the doctor's time, so make another appointment if you find your anxiety difficult to deal with.
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Then save up for repairs to the house.
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £36.76/Loss of Income Fund £0
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 4th Jan 18, 9:39 PM
    • 525 Posts
    • 6,242 Thanks
    117pauline
    Having these panic and anxiety attacks is truly horrendous. I think it really started when my IBS symptoms became uncontrollable.

    Staying tucked away here isn't making me feel better so I have to constantly challenge the thoughts that make it so difficult to get out. Some days it works and sometimes not. I have to keep repeating these small actions until they become commonplace.

    So small steps, regularly taken
    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
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