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  • FIRST POST
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 4th Dec 17, 4:00 PM
    • 526Posts
    • 6,247Thanks
    117pauline
    Mindful or Mind full?
    • #1
    • 4th Dec 17, 4:00 PM
    Mindful or Mind full? 4th Dec 17 at 4:00 PM
    So....... life appears to have changed today!

    I came downstairs to a letter from my partner saying he needed time away. After 11 plus years. Not sure how I feel.

    At the moment I need to get a job. Not as easy as that sounds as I have quite a problem leaving the house at all. I am waiting to get to the top of the list for some CBT help. I also have some chronic conditions too which have hindered our relationship.

    As you can imagine, I am not sure what will happen. My plan is to do nothing rash but try to pay down my loan as much as possible. Then I am going to have to find somewhere to live etc.

    I did say I was going to start a diary so I think this is one hell of a way to get started!

    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
Page 10
    • redofromstart
    • By redofromstart 7th Jan 18, 10:40 AM
    • 872 Posts
    • 4,999 Thanks
    redofromstart
    Hi Pauline, I'm fibro too - what I do (or don't) manage to eat can have a huge impact on flares, etc.
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 7th Jan 18, 11:41 AM
    • 2,914 Posts
    • 16,936 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    I hope you're having a good Sunday Pauline. We are lucky enough to have sunshine here, I hope you do too .
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Then save up for repairs to the house.
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £36.76/Loss of Income Fund £0
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 7th Jan 18, 7:08 PM
    • 1,427 Posts
    • 8,249 Thanks
    Seasidegal58
    Hope you’ve a good day Pauline and here’s to a good week!
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017

    Next Scrimpy Goal - Save for New Kitchen!
    Surveys: PA: £15.78/£20; One Poll: £15.40/£40: Opinium: £10.50/£25; Panelbase: £5/£10; You Gov: 1625/5000 points (£50)
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 7th Jan 18, 9:13 PM
    • 4,993 Posts
    • 31,007 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Hope you've enjoyed the lovely sunny weather today Pauline. Hope all is well with you xx
    Virtual Sealed Pot 2018 £106.40
    Jan NSDs 6 Jan AFDs 6
    Weight loss 2.5/10LBS Emergency Fund £1685.31/£10,000
    April holiday £0/£900
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 7th Jan 18, 9:59 PM
    • 526 Posts
    • 6,247 Thanks
    117pauline
    Thanks for popping by. I was out to lunch!

    I met up with one of my dearest friends who I had lost contact with. So we had a lovely Chinese buffet lunch, caught up with ach other. It was a beautiful surprise as I had just about written off our friendship.

    It just goes to show how skewed our thinking can become when we aren't well.

    I increased my meds to deal with the food but my stomach isn't too happy with me. So I am sitting here smiling at things.

    Plans for the week
    Out everyday
    Make and keep dental appt
    A swim
    Feed the birds - how can I have forgotten them? Actually I couldn't even get out of the house for them
    Pay hairdresser finally
    20 mins cleaning
    Change bed
    Finish CV and stop fiddling with it
    Eat properly
    Volunteering?
    Music?


    Lots on the list to keep me out of mischief. And the real biggy? Well I am just going to wait, no pressure on him

    Have a great week folks,
    Take care
    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 7th Jan 18, 10:33 PM
    • 2,914 Posts
    • 16,936 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    That sounds like a great schedule for the week Pauline. It can be very rewarding catching up with old friends .
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Then save up for repairs to the house.
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £36.76/Loss of Income Fund £0
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 8th Jan 18, 8:21 PM
    • 1,427 Posts
    • 8,249 Thanks
    Seasidegal58
    Nice diverse list Pauline. Have you any ideas on what sort of volunteering you would like to get involved in?
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017

    Next Scrimpy Goal - Save for New Kitchen!
    Surveys: PA: £15.78/£20; One Poll: £15.40/£40: Opinium: £10.50/£25; Panelbase: £5/£10; You Gov: 1625/5000 points (£50)
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 8th Jan 18, 8:27 PM
    • 49,570 Posts
    • 186,628 Thanks
    beanielou
    Glad that you had a lovely catch up.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • lonelyrat
    • By lonelyrat 8th Jan 18, 11:14 PM
    • 46 Posts
    • 105 Thanks
    lonelyrat
    Hello Pauline Well done on the NSD's... I've yet to achieve any this year unfortunately. Wages are wearing thin so no doubt there will be a few on the horizon.

    That's lovely news about meeting up with your friend! It made me think about my best friend from University - we lived together for four years but since moving out I've been terrible with communication (she's not the best either, but better than me). I know I definitely get inside my own head a lot with friendships and that leads me to over analyse everything and always think the worst so unfortunately a lot of my good relationships from University have fizzled out. Reading about you meeting up with your friend has given me the motivation to text her and ask her to hang out - so thank you!

    Hope the birds and the squirrels are doing well in this freezy cold weather! Just did a google search to see if squirrels like cold weather and got the loveliest post:

    "They do not like bitter cold weather, so they will stay hunkered down in their den or drey when it is really cold, opting to stay warm with their friends rather than venture out."

    I really like that. I can just imagine a group of them hanging out all snug!
    Total Debt 3119.11 / 7203.13
    CC 1 2000 - CC 2 775 - Loan 194.11 - Very BNPL 150
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 9th Jan 18, 7:43 AM
    • 2,914 Posts
    • 16,936 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor

    That's lovely news about meeting up with your friend! It made me think about my best friend from University - we lived together for four years but since moving out I've been terrible with communication (she's not the best either, but better than me). I know I definitely get inside my own head a lot with friendships and that leads me to over analyse everything and always think the worst so unfortunately a lot of my good relationships from University have fizzled out. Reading about you meeting up with your friend has given me the motivation to text her and ask her to hang out - so thank you!
    Originally posted by lonelyrat
    I think it's really easy to do this if we don't see someone frequently. It's easy to overanalyse and become negative. If you do get in touch with friends you are often surprised at how much you enjoy seeiing them and how pleased they are to see you. It's always worth reaching out.

    Hope you have a good day Pauline .
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Then save up for repairs to the house.
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £36.76/Loss of Income Fund £0
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 9th Jan 18, 9:55 PM
    • 4,993 Posts
    • 31,007 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Glad you had a lovely lunch with your friend
    Virtual Sealed Pot 2018 £106.40
    Jan NSDs 6 Jan AFDs 6
    Weight loss 2.5/10LBS Emergency Fund £1685.31/£10,000
    April holiday £0/£900
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 11th Jan 18, 8:46 AM
    • 1,097 Posts
    • 6,013 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    How are you Pauline ? What plans for the next couple of days?

    It’s certainly frosty here this morning.
    Nov 2017 CC1 £3209 CC2 £308

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 11th Jan 18, 4:32 PM
    • 526 Posts
    • 6,247 Thanks
    117pauline
    So an update on my list

    Out everyday - out Mon, tues and today
    Make and keep dental appt DONE
    A swim
    Feed the birds - Fed and Happy, squirrel back too
    Pay hairdresser finally DONE
    20 mins cleaning - Mon, tues and today
    Change bed DONE and washing sorted
    Finish CV and stop fiddling with it
    Eat properly - Mon tues and so far today
    Volunteering? Food bank?
    Music? Still on my mind

    Well, I have an up and down week with yesterday spent hiding. However the reasonable days are getting more and the bad ones not so bad.

    I went to my dental appointment and even waited for 25 mins! Not been for around three years so was dreading it. I've registered with a new dentist who was absolutely wonderful and very reassuring. The other staff were great too. And wait for it..........drum roll........... I have made another appointment for tomorrow to see the hygienist plus another next week withe dentist!!

    I went into a shop and got an application form for a part time job. I think this is what put me into a spin.

    There seems to be a few more surveys around this week which is good news if I have to pay a lot for my dental treatment.

    The fibro is being a real pain. It seems I am not managing my symptoms as well as I could. This damp cold weather is seizing up all my joints. That of course means more movement.

    I love the idea of squirrel friends all tucked up.

    I had just about written off my friendship and I am so grateful I didn't. I am naturally a hermit however I can be sociable and I really enjoyed the meal and chat.

    So things are improving all be it slowly. I have a hygienist appointment tomorrow morning. What can be my reward I wonder?

    Thanks for popping by
    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 11th Jan 18, 4:59 PM
    • 1,097 Posts
    • 6,013 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    The good days are getting more and the bad day less. Maybe if you can afford and are able to , why not see if you can research a job club that may be local to your home. We have one at our library on a Thursday. There will be an adviser there who can help you with the cv etc. It gets you out as well. In the area I work there is lots of help on getting people back in work., they will be able to help with volunteering opportunities as well.
    Nov 2017 CC1 £3209 CC2 £308

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 11th Jan 18, 8:41 PM
    • 49,570 Posts
    • 186,628 Thanks
    beanielou
    I volunteer at our local foodbank.
    It is good
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 11th Jan 18, 8:47 PM
    • 1,097 Posts
    • 6,013 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    Me as well through my job. We are encouraged to volunteer.
    Nov 2017 CC1 £3209 CC2 £308

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • fay66
    • By fay66 11th Jan 18, 9:45 PM
    • 681 Posts
    • 1,677 Thanks
    fay66
    Hi Pauline
    Glad everything ok, Ive had no laptop since Xmas eve I tripped over the plug and smashed my screen lucky enough I have a care plan for £8 a month
    Inland revenue £4500=
    Loan £2610
    Pay day loans - 135+600+300+300
    Credit card 1 - 5186
    CC2 -1038
    CC3 - 548 cc4 234
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 11th Jan 18, 10:00 PM
    • 2,914 Posts
    • 16,936 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    You're doing really well Pauline .

    The more you force yourself to do scary things, the less scary they will seem. Partaking in life is much more fulfilling and rewarding than hiding from life.

    I'm really pleased that you've been going out more and practising self care like the hairdresser and dentist .
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build an Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Then save up for repairs to the house.
    Emergency Fund 1 = £818/Emergency Fund 2 = £36.76/Loss of Income Fund £0
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 12th Jan 18, 8:27 AM
    • 1,097 Posts
    • 6,013 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    HH has put it so well , keep on going Pauline .
    Nov 2017 CC1 £3209 CC2 £308

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 13th Jan 18, 7:44 PM
    • 526 Posts
    • 6,247 Thanks
    117pauline
    I seem to have collected the dreaded cold which gets more awful as the day goes on. I had to cancel the dentist but I will reschedule next week.

    Fed birds and two squirrels have returned which wasted an hour this morning. They are so funny as they come up with new ways to get the most food in the most awkward manner. One of them hung himself upside down on the seed feeder and stayed there for more than twenty minutes even as the wind blew him around.

    Cleaned and hovered living room. It looks and smells great.

    I have eaten properly for the last two days. My halo is very tight.

    The CV thing is a bit embarrassing. I retrained as a careers advisor about seven years ago. It's difficult putting into words why I haven't been working for a few years.

    I have helped out at the local foodbank before but it still feels one step to far right this moment.

    My hips are absolutely unbearable. It feels like the bones are rubbing against themselves. One of those pains that takes your breath away.

    Treat of the day -- fresh pineapple, if I can get my *** in gear.

    Enjoy the rest of the weekend.
    Pauline

    Thanks for popping by
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
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