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    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 29th Nov 17, 8:16 PM
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    moneyistooshorttomention
    50th time lucky - voluntary euthanasia
    • #1
    • 29th Nov 17, 8:16 PM
    50th time lucky - voluntary euthanasia 29th Nov 17 at 8:16 PM


    News just come through of another step up the ladder elsewhere in the world.

    https://www.dignityindying.org.uk/latest/

    This seemed like the most appropriate Board to share it on - as many of us start to take more of a personal interest in how things are in this respect once we reach this agegroup.
    New Year's Resolution already made -

    Don't get mad....get firm ...
Page 2
    • Katiehound
    • By Katiehound 2nd Dec 17, 9:20 AM
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    Katiehound
    and to Purple Pixie
    I forgot to say that I was so sorry to hear of your experience- truly memorable , and in the worst way. (Really it's unforgiveable of me- as I should have started my reply with that very thought....)
    Being polite and pleasant doesn't cost anything!

    If you found my posting helpful please hit the "Thanks" button!
    Thank You
    • thepurplepixie
    • By thepurplepixie 2nd Dec 17, 1:17 PM
    • 945 Posts
    • 1,653 Thanks
    thepurplepixie
    and to Purple Pixie
    I forgot to say that I was so sorry to hear of your experience- truly memorable , and in the worst way. (Really it's unforgiveable of me- as I should have started my reply with that very thought....)
    Originally posted by Katiehound
    Don't worry, it is forgiveable.

    I will never have another cat or dog as I couldn't go through it again. I might be fine in many many cases but it isn't always. I do wonder about what the animal might be feeling that we don't know about, I have read that the sedation or whatever the give to prisoners being executed means they can't articulate the pain and distress as they die and I wonder if that is true for animals as well. The vet sedating them to spare the owners distress. Anyway I will never risk it again.
    • thepurplepixie
    • By thepurplepixie 2nd Dec 17, 1:19 PM
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    thepurplepixie

    These days I'm regularly getting my elderly ill mother telling me that she and my elderly ill father "wishes the NHS would let us just go....we've had enough" and I no longer say "Why don't you try this treatment? Why don't you try that treatment?" as they just don't want any more and I don't want them feeling like I'm pressurising them to stay against their will. I just keep saying "Whatever way you want things - then I'll go along with it".
    Originally posted by moneyistooshorttomention
    I meant to say does your mother know she can decline treatment? The NHS can't force her to have treatment if she doesn't want it so they will let her go if that is what she wants.
    • thepurplepixie
    • By thepurplepixie 2nd Dec 17, 1:25 PM
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    thepurplepixie
    PP. hate to say this but it just sounds like an incompetent vet. There is no need for an animal to suffer the way your poor dog did. They have an array of sedatives and drugs at their disposal.
    Actually we had a wonderful vet and this had never happened with our other animals, cats and dogs. These things aren't always the wonderful peaceful event that people talk of.


    We also need a sensible discussion and a nationwide consensus about “where do we go from here”. As medicine becomes ever more sophisticated and complex we have to ask ourselves one simple question. “At what point do we stop interventions, withdraw treatment and concentrate on palliative care”

    No we don't need a nationwide consensus thank you, I will make my decisions about treatment with my doctor. It is not for you or anyone else to say when interventions should stop for me, we can make that decision now and it doesn't need any consensus other than the patient and the doctor.

    Originally posted by lessonlearned
    Comments above.
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 2nd Dec 17, 1:44 PM
    • 14,218 Posts
    • 38,532 Thanks
    moneyistooshorttomention
    I meant to say does your mother know she can decline treatment? The NHS can't force her to have treatment if she doesn't want it so they will let her go if that is what she wants.
    Originally posted by thepurplepixie
    During the last "major episode" health-wise with my mother - she did indeed start to "decline treatment" and the hospital queried this with me. I told them that they must respect her decision - whatever it was.
    New Year's Resolution already made -

    Don't get mad....get firm ...
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 2nd Dec 17, 2:42 PM
    • 10,214 Posts
    • 57,571 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    Comments above.
    Originally posted by thepurplepixie
    Sorry if I made it sound as if I felt the medics should call the shots......I do not think that for one moment. Surely PP you know me better than that .........or are you deliberately playing devils advocate here and simply twisting my words for the sake of it.

    Of course the medics should not decide to take matters into their own hands and simply withdraw treatment without the patients consent. I don’t believe anyone, other than yourself, will have interpreted what I said in this way.

    But in case anyone else is under a similar misapprehension then let me try and make it clearer.

    There SHOULD be a general consensus across the medical profession to work with either the patient or their representative to have a proper end of life care plan in place in sufficient time.

    And this consensus SHOULD be nationwide. It SHOULD be enshrined in law, both for the protection of the medical profession and for their patients.

    End of life care should NOT be a postcode lottery nor should it left to chance.

    Now I appreciate that this will not work for all cases, for example accidents, car crashes, sudden strokes, cardiac arrests etc. Sometimes decisions are time sensitive and cannot be made in advance.

    However, in illness where the progression to death is slower then such matters should be addressed in sufficient time to put good end of life care into place. These matters are far too important to be left to chance or dealt with in the current ad hoc manner.

    These are not decisions which should to be left to ignorant family members who may or may not have their own agenda. And the patient also needs to be advised properly so they can make an informed decision about their own care. They should not be left in the dark.

    Hence my husband taking advice on the progression of his illness, how it would develop, the likely imlact on his body and therefore his decision when to call a halt to treatments.

    My sister, with her husbands backing, forced my poor father to endure treatments that merely prolonged his life because she could not bear to let him go. The poor man was 90, frail, in great pain and suffering get from leukaemia induced sepsis. Forgive the graphic details here but eventually one of his veins exploded whilst they were trying to medicate him.....pumping him full of yet even more antibiotics in a fruitless attempt to fight the three seperate infections that we’re rampaging through his body. He was in agony. And for what???? An extra couple of weeks. Even without the sepsis, the leukaemia was terminal, at best he had 3 months.

    Why on Earth not let the poor man die in peace. It was only after this that my sister finally “got the message”and realised that the kindest course of action would be to terminate his treatment. And she still wouldn’t have understood unless she had witnessed what happened and when she finally understood the horrors she was forcing him to endure. It was pure chance that it happened during visiting hours.

    My father was not capable of directing his own treatment and it was left to an ignorant daughter, who knew nothing about medicine, to determine his end of life care. I do not believe this is acceptable. No one should die in such pain and distress and certainly not because an ignorant relative has been allowed to ignore the recommendations of the medical profession. They knew what what would happen and they tried to advise my sister it was time to let him go. She would not be advised by them.

    Sometimes the medics really do know best and we have to trust them to get on with their job and to act in the patients best interests without fearing that they are going to be sued for malpractice by well meaning but ignorant relatives.

    It is time for these discussions to take place. Both patients and the medical profession need guidelines and safety frameworks. I would like to see advance directives become commonplace so that our medics have clear instructions, guidelines and parameters for their patients needs and wishes.

    None of us are immortal and we all face death.

    I think my husband summed it up so well. He knew his condition was terminal. He told me “I am not afraid of death, but I am afraid as to the manner of how I might die, the kind of death I might have to endure”.

    I managed his end of life care so that his death was peaceful and painfree, same with my mother. Alas I could not do the same for my father.

    Isn’t this what we all want, both for ourselves and our loved ones. Isn’t this what should happen in a humane and caring society. No one should be kept alive against their will and no one should have to endure unnecessary pain and distress.
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 02-12-2017 at 2:50 PM.
    • thepurplepixie
    • By thepurplepixie 2nd Dec 17, 3:20 PM
    • 945 Posts
    • 1,653 Thanks
    thepurplepixie
    Sorry if I made it sound as if I felt the medics should call the shots......I do not think that for one moment. Surely PP you know me better than that .........or are you deliberately playing devils advocate here and simply twisting my words for the sake of it.

    Of course the medics should not decide to take matters into their own hands and simply withdraw treatment without the patients consent. I don’t believe anyone, other than yourself, will have interpreted what I said in this way.

    I think you misunderstood me, I wasn't talking about doctors calling all the shots but the idea there should be some sort of national consensus.

    But in case anyone else is under a similar misapprehension then let me try and make it clearer.

    There SHOULD be a general consensus across the medical profession to work with either the patient or their representative to have a proper end of life care plan in place in sufficient time.

    We don't all get much notice though, what about a 20 year old dying should they have had an end of life plan in place?

    And this consensus SHOULD be nationwide. It SHOULD be enshrined in law, both for the protection of the medical profession and for their patients.

    End of life care should NOT be a postcode lottery nor should it left to chance.

    It shouldn't be left to chance it should be left to the individual and their doctor.

    Now I appreciate that this will not work for all cases, for example accidents, car crashes, sudden strokes, cardiac arrests etc. Sometimes decisions are time sensitive and cannot be made in advance.

    However, in illness where the progression to death is slower then such matters should be addressed in sufficient time to put good end of life care into place. These matters are far too important to be left to chance or dealt with in the current ad hoc manner.

    One persons idea of end of life care will not be the same as another persons. As an example I don't understand why many people think it is so important to hold a bedside vigil as a person dies. I've told my children that when the time comes I have no desire for my death to be a spectator sport, they can say their goodbyes and leave me to do what I ultimately have to do alone. Now that won't suit everyone, I have a friend who feels the same but most people I know think that is an awful way to die. We are all different.

    These are not decisions which should to be left to ignorant family members who may or may not have their own agenda. And the patient also needs to be advised properly so they can make an informed decision about their own care. They should not be left in the dark.

    I don't think family should have a say, as in your case you and you sister disagreed and that was totally unfair to your father. Everyone has their own ideas, agendas in your view.

    Hence my husband taking advice on the progression of his illness, how it would develop, the likely imlact on his body and therefore his decision when to call a halt to treatments.

    Right and proper, his decisions no one elses.

    My sister, with her husbands backing, forced my poor father to endure treatments that merely prolonged his life because she could not bear to let him go. The poor man was 90, frail, in great pain and suffering get from leukaemia induced sepsis. Forgive the graphic details here but eventually one of his veins exploded whilst they were trying to medicate him.....pumping him full of yet even more antibiotics in a fruitless attempt to fight the three seperate infections that we’re rampaging through his body. He was in agony. And for what???? An extra couple of weeks. Even without the sepsis, the leukaemia was terminal, at best he had 3 months.

    But didn't you post at the time that he agreed with your sister? Three months might have seemed more important to him than it did to you.

    Why on Earth not let the poor man die in peace. It was only after this that my sister finally “got the message”and realised that the kindest course of action would be to terminate his treatment. And she still wouldn’t have understood unless she had witnessed what happened and when she finally understood the horrors she was forcing him to endure. It was pure chance that it happened during visiting hours.

    My father was not capable of directing his own treatment and it was left to an ignorant daughter, who knew nothing about medicine, to determine his end of life care. I do not believe this is acceptable. No one should die in such pain and distress and certainly not because an ignorant relative has been allowed to ignore the recommendations of the medical profession. They knew what what would happen and they tried to advise my sister it was time to let him go. She would not be advised by them.

    But I distinctly remember you posting that your father wanted to fight, his life his decision. I think your relationship with your sister is colouring your view and that is understandable, you are only human after all but it is not a good basis for making decisions.

    Sometimes the medics really do know best and we have to trust them to get on with their job and to act in the patients best interests without fearing that they are going to be sued for malpractice by well meaning but ignorant relatives.

    It is time for these discussions to take place. Both patients and the medical profession need guidelines and safety frameworks. I would like to see advance directives become commonplace so that our medics have clear instructions, guidelines and parameters for their patients needs and wishes.

    None of us are immortal and we all face death.

    I think my husband summed it up so well. He knew his condition was terminal. He told me “I am not afraid of death, but I am afraid as to the manner of how I might die, the kind of death I might have to endure”.

    I managed his end of life care so that his death was peaceful and painfree, same with my mother. Alas I could not do the same for my father.

    Isn’t this what we all want, both for ourselves and our loved ones. Isn’t this what should happen in a humane and caring society. No one should be kept alive against their will and no one should have to endure unnecessary pain and distress.
    Originally posted by lessonlearned
    What I want for myself and everyone else is to make the best decision for ourselves. Your father's death obviously distressed you, giving up too soon would have distressed your sister but at the end of the day your father was entitled to do what he wanted. I remember you saying he was a brave man, an old soldier and I think that is worth respecting. I don't think people should be kept alive against their will but it is their decision to make even if we find it hard just as it is there decision that enough is enough even if we find that distressing.

    There is no one size fits all on this one and I don't think legislation is the way to go.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 2nd Dec 17, 3:25 PM
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    • 57,571 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    Money......re that telegram.


    Really age IS just a number and great age doesn’t necessarily mean ill health and infirmity.

    Check these out .....sorry I can’t do the links but just google them.

    Tao Porchin Lynch.....is a 98year yoga instructor.

    Closer to home Eileen Ash is 105 and practices yoga every day.

    And when I grow up I want to be Ernestine Shepard......the oldest female body building champion. She is in her 80s and is gorgeous. Not muscle bound or Overdeveloped, just lean and healthy with good a strong body.

    Barring bad luck (and yes it happens, look at my poor husband) how we age is largely up to us and our lifestyle choices, diet, exercise and mental attitudes.

    You can still be healthy and vigorous at 70, 80, 90 and even 100 and beyond.

    On my last holiday I had lunch with the most delightful companion. He was a retired architect so we had lots to talk about. He was intelligent, witty, charming, charismatic. He was an outrageous flirt, with the brightest bluest eyes I have ever seen. His skin was clear and fresh. He stood tall and straight. He was 90. He didn’t look a day over 60. He had spent the Morning walking around the Guggenheim museum
    And was as fresh as a daisy.

    Don’t give up. Get that telegram. Live each and every day to the max.

    Remember aging is a privilege which many are denied.

    Take the trip, buy the shoes, eat the cake.

    And have fun...
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 2nd Dec 17, 3:33 PM
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    • 57,571 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    What I want for myself and everyone else is to make the best decision for ourselves. Your father's death obviously distressed you, giving up too soon would have distressed your sister but at the end of the day your father was entitled to do what he wanted. I remember you saying he was a brave man, an old soldier and I think that is worth respecting. I don't think people should be kept alive against their will but it is their decision to make even if we find it hard just as it is there decision that enough is enough even if we find that distressing.

    There is no one size fits all on this one and I don't think legislation is the way to go.
    Originally posted by thepurplepixie
    Pp you are arguing against me for no reason. I want what you want. We really are on the same page.......ie freedom to make our own decisions yes but also protection for when we can’t.

    Not everyone gets fair and equal treatment. This has been discussed in SDW s thread. Provison is patchy at best and sometimes it is woefully inadequate.

    And I genuinely do believe that we DO need to have our rights protected and enshrined in law.

    I believe that The ad hoc, play it by ear, let’s cross that bridge when we come to it, appoach is no longer a viable model. I really do think it’s time we had something on the statute books.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 2nd Dec 17, 3:49 PM
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    • 57,571 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    Giving up too soon????

    PP he was dying of Sepsis. It had reached the point of no return, it was out of control. There was no stopping it, no turning back, no miracle cure. His liver was failing, his heart barely functioning. The treatments were only prolonging the agony. It was not the leukaemia that killed him, it was the sepsis. By this time he did not have three months, he had days.

    I will spare you the details of how he spent his penultimate day but trust me......these treatments would have given him a couple of extra couple of days at most but at what price in terms of pain and distress.

    Within an hour of stopping his treatments he finally slipped into a coma and got a few hours of peace before dying. Had my sister not finally woken up and smelt the coffee lord knows how much more he would have had to endure. I am sorry but she was not thinking of my father but at that point only of her fear of losing him. It was not true love and compassion but rather her need that was informing her decisions.

    Yes he was a brave and courageous man......an old war horse to the end but as someone else said earlier in the thread.......”they shoot horses don’t they”.

    My fathers death did not distress me......it was time to let him go. He was ready to “join his wife” as he put it. He wanted to go but could not express his wishes. He was ready to die.

    No....it was not the fact of his dying but rather It was the manner of his death which not only distressed me but also which angered me. It was not necessary to make him suffer like that.

    The medics knew it and I knew it, it was my sister who wouldn’t face the cold hard medical reality. She was holding on to him for selfish reasons. True love is altruistic and selfless and knows when to let go.

    Do you think I wanted to be a widow......of course not but I freely admit I was glad when death finally released my husband. I was relieved he chose to terminate his treatments, that he chose death on his own terms. I loved that man more than words can say, I miss him every single day but I would not have stood by and watched him suffer nor would I have made any attempt to keep him with me.

    I loved my husband and my parents and it is because I loved them that I was happy to let them go.

    My sister has been the one to pay the price for her selfish love though. She was traumatised by what she saw and she is haunted by what she did. She pays every day with guilt.

    My views regarding end of life care, timely withdrawal of treatments, assisted suicide etc have nothing to do with either my relationship with my sister or my fathers death. I discussed his death and the role my sister played to illustrate how easily things can go wrong and how doctors are sometimes forced to act against their better judgement merely to appease hysterical relatives for fear of reprisals and court cases.

    I am not basing my reasoning on what you perceive as an isolated incident and my personal feelings are not clouding my judgement. What happened with my fathers death is by no means an isolated case. I simply would prefer to see fewer such cases.

    I have forgiven my sister. She has suffered enough and still suffers every day. She is wracked with guilt. I knew this would happen. I love her dearly and I tried to protect her. I knew she would take his death very badly. I knew she would come regret the decisions she made. I knew she wasn’t thinking straight. She was too distressed to think clearly and make rational decisions that were in my fathers best interests. The last thing I wanted was for her to feel the guilt and remorse she is now burdened with.

    My Poor sister has always been the hot headed emotional one who collapses with the vapours at the first sign of stress whilst I have always been calm capable Kate, good in a crisis. My fathers medical team recognised this and so kept me fully informed of my fathers decline. My sister just couldn’t handle it.

    The point is, she is not alone in the way she handled the situation. Sometimes Relatives are very often simply too emotionally close to make the best rational decision for a loved one. Sometimes it is asking too much, they just aren’t able to take an objective view because they are often too distressed to think straight. This is especially difficult when they don’t know what the patient wants because there has been no instructions given or prior discussions. This is why we need a consensus.....between medics and patients or their representatives and why we need guidelines and safety frameworks.

    As it is my sisters grief is not pure so it will not heal easily. Her grief is conflicted, she will never forgive herself and she now has to live with that. I feel very sorry for her.
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 02-12-2017 at 5:27 PM.
    • thepurplepixie
    • By thepurplepixie 5th Dec 17, 5:38 PM
    • 945 Posts
    • 1,653 Thanks
    thepurplepixie
    Giving up too soon????

    PP he was dying of Sepsis. It had reached the point of no return, it was out of control. There was no stopping it, no turning back, no miracle cure. His liver was failing, his heart barely functioning. The treatments were only prolonging the agony. It was not the leukaemia that killed him, it was the sepsis. By this time he did not have three months, he had days.

    I will spare you the details of how he spent his penultimate day but trust me......these treatments would have given him a couple of extra couple of days at most but at what price in terms of pain and distress.

    Within an hour of stopping his treatments he finally slipped into a coma and got a few hours of peace before dying. Had my sister not finally woken up and smelt the coffee lord knows how much more he would have had to endure. I am sorry but she was not thinking of my father but at that point only of her fear of losing him. It was not true love and compassion but rather her need that was informing her decisions.

    Yes he was a brave and courageous man......an old war horse to the end but as someone else said earlier in the thread.......”they shoot horses don’t they”.

    My fathers death did not distress me......it was time to let him go. He was ready to “join his wife” as he put it. He wanted to go but could not express his wishes. He was ready to die.

    No....it was not the fact of his dying but rather It was the manner of his death which not only distressed me but also which angered me. It was not necessary to make him suffer like that.

    The medics knew it and I knew it, it was my sister who wouldn’t face the cold hard medical reality. She was holding on to him for selfish reasons. True love is altruistic and selfless and knows when to let go.

    Do you think I wanted to be a widow......of course not but I freely admit I was glad when death finally released my husband. I was relieved he chose to terminate his treatments, that he chose death on his own terms. I loved that man more than words can say, I miss him every single day but I would not have stood by and watched him suffer nor would I have made any attempt to keep him with me.

    I loved my husband and my parents and it is because I loved them that I was happy to let them go.

    My sister has been the one to pay the price for her selfish love though. She was traumatised by what she saw and she is haunted by what she did. She pays every day with guilt.

    My views regarding end of life care, timely withdrawal of treatments, assisted suicide etc have nothing to do with either my relationship with my sister or my fathers death. I discussed his death and the role my sister played to illustrate how easily things can go wrong and how doctors are sometimes forced to act against their better judgement merely to appease hysterical relatives for fear of reprisals and court cases.

    I am not basing my reasoning on what you perceive as an isolated incident and my personal feelings are not clouding my judgement. What happened with my fathers death is by no means an isolated case. I simply would prefer to see fewer such cases.

    I have forgiven my sister. She has suffered enough and still suffers every day. She is wracked with guilt. I knew this would happen. I love her dearly and I tried to protect her. I knew she would take his death very badly. I knew she would come regret the decisions she made. I knew she wasn’t thinking straight. She was too distressed to think clearly and make rational decisions that were in my fathers best interests. The last thing I wanted was for her to feel the guilt and remorse she is now burdened with.

    My Poor sister has always been the hot headed emotional one who collapses with the vapours at the first sign of stress whilst I have always been calm capable Kate, good in a crisis. My fathers medical team recognised this and so kept me fully informed of my fathers decline. My sister just couldn’t handle it.

    The point is, she is not alone in the way she handled the situation. Sometimes Relatives are very often simply too emotionally close to make the best rational decision for a loved one. Sometimes it is asking too much, they just aren’t able to take an objective view because they are often too distressed to think straight. This is especially difficult when they don’t know what the patient wants because there has been no instructions given or prior discussions. This is why we need a consensus.....between medics and patients or their representatives and why we need guidelines and safety frameworks.

    As it is my sisters grief is not pure so it will not heal easily. Her grief is conflicted, she will never forgive herself and she now has to live with that. I feel very sorry for her.
    Originally posted by lessonlearned
    I have a very, very good memory. I don't want to upset you so not going to recall all the details but I wasn't talking about when your father got sepsis, I was talking about his lukaemia diagnosis which was when he and your sister wanted treatment and you didn't.

    I don't believe in continuing treatment for no purpose but I do believe everyone has the right to call the shots for themselves.

    I am glad you and your sister have got over your upset about the will. It is so sad to fall out about money.
    • observations from a hill
    • By observations from a hill 6th Dec 17, 2:12 AM
    • 148 Posts
    • 154 Thanks
    observations from a hill
    Sorry, I have skipped most of the answers as they were emotional and personal

    OP, it is really simple. Just stop eating & drinking . No-one can force you to do either.
    Last edited by observations from a hill; 06-12-2017 at 2:24 AM.
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 6th Dec 17, 8:12 AM
    • 14,218 Posts
    • 38,532 Thanks
    moneyistooshorttomention
    No it isnt that simple at all. Fortunately - I'm not in that position personally. But I am darn sure and certain that I want the law changed for those that are in it. Obviously, as well, there is also the personal concern "just in case" for myself - for the easing of mind that comes from knowing that I couldnt be put through severe illness - because Society refused to help.

    During the time refusing to eat and drink takes if one goes that way - I thought it would be bad enough to be hungry and thirsty.

    But - what I hadnt realised was that I gather it's also very painful and uncomfortable to go that way.

    A law change will mean that people can go quickly/quietly/peacefully at a time of their choosing - no pain/no discomfort and not even feeling hunger and thirst.
    Last edited by moneyistooshorttomention; 06-12-2017 at 8:23 AM.
    New Year's Resolution already made -

    Don't get mad....get firm ...
    • bugslet
    • By bugslet 6th Dec 17, 8:19 AM
    • 5,760 Posts
    • 28,208 Thanks
    bugslet
    Sorry, I have skipped most of the answers as they were emotional and personal

    OP, it is really simple. Just stop eating & drinking . No-one can force you to do either.
    Originally posted by observations from a hill
    Trust me, that is not a pleasant way to go.
    • observations from a hill
    • By observations from a hill 8th Dec 17, 12:53 AM
    • 148 Posts
    • 154 Thanks
    observations from a hill
    Well that's my choice anyway - but I have no appetite. I have lung cancer, I would just love to "turn my face to the wall", but I worry whether it would upset my family sooner or later.
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 8th Dec 17, 8:15 AM
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    • 38,532 Thanks
    moneyistooshorttomention
    Sorry to hear that - and, ultimately, it's your choice what to do and if that is what you decide to do then no-one has the right to criticise you for a decision you make on your own behalf (as we all have the right to do things "our way").

    This is what I am arguing for - that everyone can make their own decision for themselves (even if it's not the one we would make for ourselves personally).

    My own view is that you need to make whatever decision you make for yourself personally and your family will accept it (if it takes them a while to do so). One is responsible for one's children and has to try and "stick around" long enough until they have grown up. But, once they are adults, they then take over responsibility to feed/clothe/house themselves etc and their parents are then free to decide for themselves freely again in whatever way they wish.

    Have you got a sympathetic doctor? If you are lucky enough to have such a doctor (and not just an endlessly rotating list of doctors - that you may have to wait days/even weeks to see) then would it be an idea to see them and, if that is your decision for yourself, tell them these are your plans and say "My mind is made up doctor - but can you tell me how to mitigate any effects of doing so whilst this is happening?".

    Take care.
    Last edited by moneyistooshorttomention; 08-12-2017 at 8:23 AM.
    New Year's Resolution already made -

    Don't get mad....get firm ...
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