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  • FIRST POST
    • Rasharoon
    • By Rasharoon 29th Nov 17, 5:07 PM
    • 1Posts
    • 0Thanks
    Rasharoon
    Sharing Bedroom
    • #1
    • 29th Nov 17, 5:07 PM
    Sharing Bedroom 29th Nov 17 at 5:07 PM
    Hi
    Just after some thoughts please.
    I have a 19 year old Son who lives with his Dad and Step Mum in a 2 bedroomed rented flat.
    His wife has a Daughter who is about 22 and has just come back from travelling.
    They are having to share a bedroom- separate beds and my Son is ok with this.
    I feel very unsure about this situation but canít speak to the Dad as our relationship is non existent.
    Am I just being silly. I donít think for a second anything is going on but privacy etc. In my min - just doesnít sit right.
    Thanks
Page 1
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 29th Nov 17, 5:10 PM
    • 1,230 Posts
    • 1,012 Thanks
    Comms69
    • #2
    • 29th Nov 17, 5:10 PM
    • #2
    • 29th Nov 17, 5:10 PM
    Well they're both adults so I don't really think you have a say on it - to be frank.
    • gonzo127
    • By gonzo127 29th Nov 17, 5:13 PM
    • 4,403 Posts
    • 5,635 Thanks
    gonzo127
    • #3
    • 29th Nov 17, 5:13 PM
    • #3
    • 29th Nov 17, 5:13 PM
    Hi
    Just after some thoughts please.
    I have a 19 year old Son who lives with his Dad and Step Mum in a 2 bedroomed rented flat.
    His wife has a Daughter who is about 22 and has just come back from travelling.
    They are having to share a bedroom- separate beds and my Son is ok with this.
    I feel very unsure about this situation but canít speak to the Dad as our relationship is non existent.
    Am I just being silly. I donít think for a second anything is going on but privacy etc. In my min - just doesnít sit right.
    Thanks
    Originally posted by Rasharoon
    not being funny, but they are all adults, so im sure they can decide for themselves what is ok and what isnt.

    and unless i am reading this totally wrong, the daughter is not a blood relative to your son, so even something does 'go on' taking into account once again that they are both adults, there really isnt anything wrong with things. although could make your sons dad and wife feel a little awkward haha
    Drop a brand challenge
    on a £100 shop you might on average get 70 items save
    10p per product = £7 a week ~ £28 a month
    20p per product = £14 a week ~ £56 a month
    30p per product = £21 a week ~ £84 a month (or in other words one weeks shoping at the new price)
    • martinsurrey
    • By martinsurrey 29th Nov 17, 5:18 PM
    • 3,225 Posts
    • 3,927 Thanks
    martinsurrey
    • #4
    • 29th Nov 17, 5:18 PM
    • #4
    • 29th Nov 17, 5:18 PM
    Hi
    Just after some thoughts please.
    I have a 19 year old Son who lives with his Dad and Step Mum in a 2 bedroomed rented flat.
    His wife has a Daughter who is about 22 and has just come back from travelling.
    They are having to share a bedroom- separate beds and my Son is ok with this.
    I feel very unsure about this situation but canít speak to the Dad as our relationship is non existent.
    Am I just being silly. I donít think for a second anything is going on but privacy etc. In my min - just doesnít sit right.
    Thanks
    Originally posted by Rasharoon
    can I get this right,

    An adult is living with 2 other Adults, and a 4th Adult is going to share a room with the first Adult.

    You, a 5th adult, wants our "internet adults" opinion?

    Why are you unsure?
    • silvercar
    • By silvercar 29th Nov 17, 5:52 PM
    • 36,193 Posts
    • 152,940 Thanks
    silvercar
    • #5
    • 29th Nov 17, 5:52 PM
    • #5
    • 29th Nov 17, 5:52 PM
    can I get this right,

    An adult is living with 2 other Adults, and a 4th Adult is going to share a room with the first Adult.

    You, a 5th adult, wants our "internet adults" opinion?

    Why are you unsure?
    Originally posted by martinsurrey
    As her son loses the privacy of having a bedroom to himself and is forced to share. Not only share but to share with a slightly older female. AWKWARD.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 29th Nov 17, 6:14 PM
    • 18,551 Posts
    • 47,769 Thanks
    Pollycat
    • #6
    • 29th Nov 17, 6:14 PM
    • #6
    • 29th Nov 17, 6:14 PM
    As you say your son is OK with the arrangement, I can't see your problem.

    If he'd told you that he wasn't happy about sharing this room, I could understand your question.
    • lewishardwick
    • By lewishardwick 29th Nov 17, 6:18 PM
    • 483 Posts
    • 591 Thanks
    lewishardwick
    • #7
    • 29th Nov 17, 6:18 PM
    • #7
    • 29th Nov 17, 6:18 PM
    He may very well be OK with it...
    • Ronaldo Mconaldo
    • By Ronaldo Mconaldo 29th Nov 17, 7:26 PM
    • 4,989 Posts
    • 5,242 Thanks
    Ronaldo Mconaldo
    • #8
    • 29th Nov 17, 7:26 PM
    • #8
    • 29th Nov 17, 7:26 PM
    He may very well be OK with it...
    Originally posted by lewishardwick
    Iíd be more than OK with it if I were him
    • peachyprice
    • By peachyprice 29th Nov 17, 7:29 PM
    • 18,795 Posts
    • 43,276 Thanks
    peachyprice
    • #9
    • 29th Nov 17, 7:29 PM
    • #9
    • 29th Nov 17, 7:29 PM
    As her son loses the privacy of having a bedroom to himself and is forced to share. Not only share but to share with a slightly older female. AWKWARD.
    Originally posted by silvercar
    Her son is an adult though and according to OP, is fine with the situation. It's not for OP to interfere with the living arrangements of 4 adults.
    Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear
    • martinbuckley
    • By martinbuckley 29th Nov 17, 8:41 PM
    • 707 Posts
    • 698 Thanks
    martinbuckley
    Why don't you offer your son a room at your place?
    • Spendless
    • By Spendless 29th Nov 17, 10:22 PM
    • 19,706 Posts
    • 31,853 Thanks
    Spendless
    What do you want them to do though? If all they can afford is a 2 bed place, then there's not much option. Unless you are going to offer to pay the rent on a 3 bed for them, or pay for your son or the daughter to move into a bedsit? You could tell your son if he doesn't feel comfortable with the situation he can move back in with you instead.
    • DUTR
    • By DUTR 29th Nov 17, 10:37 PM
    • 11,060 Posts
    • 6,280 Thanks
    DUTR
    Hi
    Just after some thoughts please.
    I have a 19 year old Son who lives with his Dad and Step Mum in a 2 bedroomed rented flat.
    His wife has a Daughter who is about 22 and has just come back from travelling.
    They are having to share a bedroom- separate beds and my Son is ok with this.
    I feel very unsure about this situation but canít speak to the Dad as our relationship is non existent.
    Am I just being silly. I donít think for a second anything is going on but privacy etc. In my min - just doesnít sit right.
    Thanks
    Originally posted by Rasharoon
    Are you paying your CMS contribution though?
    • Tabbytabitha
    • By Tabbytabitha 29th Nov 17, 10:54 PM
    • 445 Posts
    • 882 Thanks
    Tabbytabitha
    Are you paying your CMS contribution though?
    Originally posted by DUTR
    For a 19 year old?
    • DUTR
    • By DUTR 29th Nov 17, 11:08 PM
    • 11,060 Posts
    • 6,280 Thanks
    DUTR
    For a 19 year old?
    Originally posted by Tabbytabitha
    Yep, it can be paid up until the 20th birthday nowadays. If the QC is still in non advanced education full time.
    • silvercar
    • By silvercar 29th Nov 17, 11:30 PM
    • 36,193 Posts
    • 152,940 Thanks
    silvercar
    As you say your son is OK with the arrangement, I can't see your problem.

    If he'd told you that he wasn't happy about sharing this room, I could understand your question.
    Originally posted by Pollycat
    Maybe he can't admit to being unhappy with the living arrangements as he doesn't want to be the cause of an argument between Mum and Dad.
    • frugalmacdugal
    • By frugalmacdugal 30th Nov 17, 5:56 AM
    • 6,172 Posts
    • 5,296 Thanks
    frugalmacdugal
    Hi,

    if he was staying with you and wanted his 22 year old girlfriend to 'sleep over', in room with separate beds, would you allow that?
    Y'all take care now.
    • barbarawright
    • By barbarawright 30th Nov 17, 7:48 AM
    • 1,693 Posts
    • 3,235 Thanks
    barbarawright
    If we all said it was inappropriate (and frankly, I would hate it if I was either of them), what would you do about it?
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 30th Nov 17, 7:49 AM
    • 18,551 Posts
    • 47,769 Thanks
    Pollycat
    Maybe he can't admit to being unhappy with the living arrangements as he doesn't want to be the cause of an argument between Mum and Dad.
    Originally posted by silvercar
    Or maybe he's just telling the truth and really is OK with the arrangements......

    If the OP suspected he wasn't happy, she's probably have said 'he says he's OK but I know he's not'.

    And she says
    Am I just being silly. I donít think for a second anything is going on but privacy etc. In my min - just doesnít sit right.
    Thanks
    Originally posted by Rasharoon
    I guess she means 'mind' so to me at least it sounds like the issue is in the OP's head.
    • hazyjo
    • By hazyjo 30th Nov 17, 10:22 AM
    • 9,831 Posts
    • 12,480 Thanks
    hazyjo
    Yet another strange question for a newbie (let's hope they don't trip over the Ugg Boots LOL).


    If real - as above, what is the issue?! I have no idea what you're asking. My friend was in a relationship with her step-brother for a while. It's not illegal. If they're not in a relationship, then I'm not sure what it's got to do with anyone else if the two of them are okay with it.
    2017 wins: Opera tickets; film preview; lipstick; Ideal Home Show tickets + afternoon tea & bottle of Champagne; 2 cases of NKD; notebook; bath rack; books; film Premiere; Broadchurch DVDs; lipbalms; hamper (food/wine/Echo Dot/Jo Malone goodies); Avon lippies; cowhide rug; Windsor luxury break, foundation; Flybe flight
    • PasturesNew
    • By PasturesNew 30th Nov 17, 10:32 AM
    • 60,962 Posts
    • 356,073 Thanks
    PasturesNew
    It depends on the people and family dynamics. On its own, then so long as they don't mind sharing, then that's fine.

    Either of them have the option of sleeping on the sofa in the living room, so they must have chosen this arrangement over that for whatever reason.

    For the record, in my family tree I have a couple where the parents met/married and each of them had a child they brought into the marriage - and those children married.
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